


The Castles We Build

by MadameBaggio



Series: The Gentle Lady [3]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: BAMF Merlin, BAMF Susan, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Eggsy & Roxy Bromance, Eggsy is a Little Shit, Everybody is from the same universe, Fluff, Harry Hart Lives, Harry is Arthur, Mentions of Forever, Mentions of SHIELD, Merlin is way too slow, Mother Hen Harry Hart, Multi, Peggy is Susan's aunt, Roxy Is a Good Bro, Sequel, Slow Build, Susan is time travelling, The Problem of Susan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5656033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameBaggio/pseuds/MadameBaggio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan Pevensie was left behind, but this time she chose to stay as well.</p><p>Finally her life with the Kingsman seem to be going forward, even if a certain technician is too slow. She stayed to fight and change the world, live new things.</p><p>She will taste attraction, train a new Kingsman and just plain kick ass. She is, after all, a lady.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> So... Susan's adventures continue.
> 
> This is "The Gentle Lady" sequel and I hope you all keep enjoying it!
> 
> Shout out to October Ashes for beta reading this for me!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

_New York, 1951_

 

Susan shot at the target in front of her with single-minded focus. When she was shooting, there was nothing else in the world. That was why she was the best markswoman not only here, but in Narnia, as well.

 

_Narnia._

 

Nowadays, the name of the place kept popping in her head all the time. Funny how she hadn’t thought of Narnia in years, and suddenly she would think about it in the most mundane situations.

 

She had done a pretty good job of ignoring the years she spent there; of remembering the adventures they had as kids.  She was building a life for herself apart from a world where she wasn’t welcome anymore.

 

Until the accident. Now it was the only thing she could think about, besides the shame of not being closer to her siblings.

 

It was enough to drive a girl crazy.

 

Thank God for Peggy.

 

Her aunt took her to America and was personally training her. There were other agents helping, but Peggy made a point of being there for her.

 

Susan became stronger, and that was what really mattered.

 

“You’re amazingly good at this.”

 

Susan lowered her gun and turned to smile at Peggy. “I had a great teacher.”

 

“Sweet of you, but I don’t think that has anything to do with my talents as an instructor,” Peggy stepped closer. “I’m here to give you a mission.”

 

“A mission?” Susan sounded surprised. “I didn’t know I could have those.”

 

“Well, this will be, not only your first mission, but also your graduation ceremony. This is to let us know if you’re ready,” She tucked a strand of hair behind Susan’s ear. “What do you think?”

 

“I’m ready.” The girl seriously replied.

 

“If this goes well, you’re done. You can stay with us and be an agent.”

 

“What if I want to go back to London?” Susan asked carefully.

 

“Is that what you want?” Peggy gently inquired.

 

“It’s not that I don’t like here, or that I don’t appreciate what you’ve done for me, but London is home.” She quickly explained herself.

 

“Susan darling, you don’t have to stay here,” Peggy said with a smile. “If you want to go to London, you can go. I have contacts there and I know an agency that can use some help.”

 

“Who?” Susan was curious.

 

“The Kingsman.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I've been a mess... In a funny sense. I was supposed to be posting other stuff, but I got all messed up with the fanfics and haven't managed to write in most of the others. Since this one is already ready it was easier to post here.
> 
> I also got caught up with Supernatural. 11 years not watching that show and now I can't stop. *sighs* My friends are on high alert, they have orders to not let me write about it. lol
> 
> So, more Susan for you guys. Hope you enjoy it!

“Hey, Sue.”

 

“Hi, Roxy!” Susan smiled warmly at the other girl and put her gun away. “Did you just come back from a mission?”

 

“Yeah, I did,” Roxy was smiling too, but hers was a bit hesitant. “So,” She cleared her throat. “I wanted to invite you to something.”

 

“Oh. Of course. What is it?”

 

Roxy looked around the firing range like she was expecting –and maybe even hoping –for some kind of attack or invasion. Her face was slightly red, like she as embarrassed about what she wanted to ask. “Well… I’m going out with this girl…”

 

“Roxy, that is so nice! What’s her name?”

 

“Jill,” A smile softened Roxy’s tense face. “We went out a couple of times, but now she wants to go out again and invite some friends. Which is great, of course, but the friends she’s bringing are couples and I thought it would be nice if I could have you and Eggsy in my corner.”

 

“Of course I’ll go!” Susan excitedly replied. “Eggsy will love the chance to say he got me out on a date with him.”

 

“He’s an idiot like that,” Roxy rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. “Thank you for doing this.”

 

“It’s a pleasure.”

 

XxX

 

Susan didn’t wear informal clothes all that often –mostly just to blend in on missions. Only recently she had started seeing the beauty in a good pair of jeans. She still felt a bit self-conscious wearing them, though.

 

She heard the doorbell ring and grabbed her purse. Eggsy was going to pick her up so they could go to the pub where they would meet Roxy.

 

When she decided she wanted to move to a place of her own, everybody wanted to help. In the end, she met this very nice lady who lived in the same neighborhood as Harry who was going to live with her son. Mrs. Jameson wanted to rent her house and was immediately charmed by Susan. Now the agent lived two blocks from Harry in a lovely house.

 

Reep had adapted to their new place very easily, and chosen his favorite spot by one of the windows. And she had kittens now!

 

She found a box with those three poor souls abandoned in it. Initially, she was going to take care of them and then keep just one, but when the time came, she couldn’t choose between the three! Reep adored them! How could she separate them?

 

Anyway, she was a cat person.

 

Therefore she now had Athos the tuxedo, Porthos the ginger tabby, and Aramis the grey tabby. Actually, at the moment, her four musketeers were together, sleeping soundly by the unlit fireplace.

 

She opened the door to reveal Eggsy waiting for her. He had retired his old style and now went with something a bit more stylish. Susan couldn’t say she missed the colors of his jackets.

 

“Wow. All that for me, Sue?” He asked, looking her up and down.

 

Susan rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Let’s go?”

 

“Yeah! I wanna meet Roxy’s girl.” He offered her his arm and they started walking.

 

“I’m happy that she finally decided to date again. She didn’t see anyone for awhile after Meg.”

 

“Yeah. She did a number on Roxy,” Eggsy sighed. “I think she’s got balls to try again. Relationships suck.”

 

“Hey!” She nudged him playfully. “It’s not always bad. You should try it for yourself at least once.”

 

“Nah, I’m good,” He smirked at her. “Maybe you should.”

 

“I promise that if I ever find Prince Charming, I’ll let him put me on his white horse so we can ride together towards the sunset.” She sarcastically remarked.

 

“Or…” Eggsy started carefully. “You could always forget about Prince Charming and go for the wizard.”

 

“Eggsy…”

 

“I’m just saying you guys would look nice together. I mean, as nice as Merlin can look. You look nice enough for both of you.”

 

“Eggsy…”

 

“Come on, Sue!” He whined. “Seriously. What’s missin’ for the two of you to get together?”

 

She didn’t know. Honestly.

 

She wouldn’t admit it out loud –because it made her feel very vulnerable –but she found Merlin very attractive. Like… Really attractive. She knew he wasn’t what most people would call handsome. He wasn’t pretty like the male models of this generation. He was… A man. Those eyes of his were two of the most amazing things she had ever seen. Adding to that was a sharp mind, a dry sense of humor and a good and loyal person.

 

So yes, she was more than a bit attracted to Merlin. And for a good while, she thought it might be reciprocated, now she wasn’t so sure.

 

Three months ago, after she woke up from almost dying, they had a moment so charged with promise, so intense. She felt as if things could happen, as if they could…

 

Whatever. Nothing really happened. It was like Merlin was this older more experienced guy that let her flirt with him to humor her. God, if that was the case, she was going to slap him.

 

If he wasn’t interested, he sure as hell should stop flirting back. That was just mean.

 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Eggsy,” Susan sighed. “Merlin is a great man and I admire him a lot. I guess it’s just not a good time.”

 

Eggsy opened his mouth as if he wanted to pursue the matter, but seemed to change his mind. “If you need me to kick his ass, let me know.” He finally offered.

 

“He could probably kick your ass, but it’s very sweet of you to offer.” Susan patted his hand kindly.

 

“Hey!” They both laughed. “Come on, let’s grab a cab. Those shoes of yours seem mighty uncomfortable.”

 

XxX

 

Roxy obviously had a type. Susan had never met Meg, but Eggsy told her the girl had a lot of tattoos and piercings. Jill had facial features that showed at least a bit of Indian ancestry. She had quite a bit of facial piercings and her hair had bright blue streaks in it.

 

Roxy was unable to tear her eyes from the girl. She smiled at her and held her hand and was downright adorable. Jill’s friends were very nice, as well. They were a bit younger than Susan, and way more alternative, as there were many piercings and tattoos around the table. But they all treated her, Eggsy and Roxy very well.

 

“May I have two pints, please?” Susan asked the bartender.

 

“I hope one of them isn’t for your boyfriend.”

 

She turned to the man that had just talked to her and arched a brow. “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

 

“And you just made me a very hopeful man,” He said with a small smile. “I’m George.”

 

“I’m Susan.” She accepted the hand he offered and shook it.

 

He was a tall guy with short curly blonde hair and blue eyes. He had dimples and his smile was adorable, but Susan had lived for quite a few years. There was something about him that smelled like trouble. Perhaps not the bad kind of trouble, but trouble nonetheless.

 

“I see you’re with your friends.” He commented, throwing a glance at the table she had come from.

 

“So are you.” She gestured to a table with five other people, who were looking their way. There were two blond women that were looking at her with suspicion.

 

“Mostly family,” He shrugged. “They’ll understand if I take a minute to ask for your number.”

 

“What makes you think I’m going to give you my number?” He was way too confident.

 

“A man can dream,” He replied with a huge smile that made her smile in response. “If it helps in your decision, please know it will make me very happy.”

 

She rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “Well, how can I say no after that?”

 

“You can’t.” He seriously replied, but his eyes were full of mischief.

 

“You’re trouble.” She accused.

 

“Yes, but you look like you don’t mind a bit of trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you have it!
> 
> It isn't really relevant, but I picture George like Klaus from "The Originals". Not like the actor (Joseph Morgan), like Klaus. The kind of guy that looks like trouble and then he smiles and you want to jump in anyway... hahahaha
> 
> Oh, I think I alr4eady told you all about it, but I made a board for this series on Pinterest. You can find it...  
> [Here](https://br.pinterest.com/isadorabaggio12/visual-guide-to-the-gentle-lady-series/)
> 
> Next chapter...  
> “Time off?” Harry put his newspaper down, his face showing his complete surprise.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are for another chapter.
> 
> This one was beta-read by October Ashes.
> 
> I hope you are all enjoying the new adventures of the Old Susan.

Susan didn’t actually go out with George. He did call, and he was as charming as she remembered, but she couldn’t.

 

Susan’s first love had been Caspian. They were the epitome of star-crossed lovers; could never be together and never were. She had that one sweet innocent kiss to remember him by and nothing else. Sometimes she wondered if the face she remembered was truly his face. Except for the eyes. Susan knew that, as long as she lived, she would never forget Caspian’s eyes.

 

After she came back from her last trip to Narnia, she embraced society. She wanted to make a life for herself apart from Narnia; she wanted to be part of this world. She went to parties, had friends and, eventually, found a boy.

 

His name was James and he was sweet. He was the only son of a very well connected family. He would offer her his arm when they walked, he would kiss her face and they smile every time they saw each other. They exchanged a couple of kisses and they were all perfect and romantic.

 

James had asked Susan to marry him and she had said “yes.” But it was before the train wreck that took her siblings away. After that, she went to the United States with her Aunt Peggy and James stayed behind because he couldn’t understand her anymore.

 

He got married and had a lovely family. Susan was happy for him, he deserved it.

 

After she became a Kingsman, she didn’t see any reason to get involved with anyone. There was Alfred and his feelings, always pressuring her, always wanting something she wasn’t willing to give. He would say things like she needed time and he would give it to her, but would go crazy with jealousy if anyone else came too close. Alfred had been a good man and a good Arthur, but his feeling for her made Susan’s life very difficult.

 

Besides that, she never really met anyone she truly wanted to be with. After the death of her siblings, she didn’t wish to make herself fall in the same trap again: care so much for someone that losing them would break her.

 

So she wouldn’t go out with George. Mostly because she didn’t feel ready for what people expected from relationships in this time.

 

She watched as Eggsy jumped from one girl to the next or how Roxy would give someone everything. She was from a different time, dating was something else back then. She saw many public displays of affection around and… She couldn’t handle that! Not at all.

 

She was quite determined not to jump into any kind of relationship right now.

 

XxX

 

“Gareth, can you hear me?” Merlin asked, eyes on the screen.

 

 _“Yes, Merlin.”_ Came the answer.

 

“Guinevere, can you hear me?” He asked.

 

_“Yes, Merlin dearest.”_

After the mission that almost took her life, Susan was… Different. Not in a bad way, just plain different.

 

She told him –in a show of trust that humbled his heart –what she had seen on the other side. She told him about her talk with her siblings and Aslan’s promise to keep her there. She had a chance of living her life here now.

 

The last thing that all the Kingsman expected when Susan woke up was her complete transformation.

Suddenly she wanted it all at the same time. She wanted to find an apartment, she wanted to meet Kenneth’s whole family, and she wanted to have painting classes because it was her dream.

 

She started wearing jeans and she wanted to move, take Reep with her and buy a cat. It wasn’t just talking, because she quickly had all of it. It was almost like Susan was suddenly living everything at the same time, like she could –and would – in that exact moment, do everything in her power to feel alive. It was the most gorgeous thing to see and, exactly because of that, it was extremely scary.

 

Her smiles were bigger and she had no more barriers between her and them. She had seen something beyond life and found the answer to her questions and she finally was truly happy.

 

Susan was shining, just like Henry would say she was born to. Merlin asked himself how long it would take her to realize she had better things to do in life than be sitting alone.

 

He knew Caradoc wanted to find her dates and he knew that some boy had asked for her number and called. But she was still their Susan, not anyone else’s.

 

But for how long?

 

“You have a clear path. Security will do another sweep in four minutes. Don’t waste time.” He stated.

 

Both agents showed they heard him. It was a very simple mission; it should be completed in minutes and with minimal risk.

 

Merlin still couldn’t relax. Not when she was out again, not when they had almost lost her twice.

 

They were already leaving the building when a security guard came in their direction. Susan extended her arm and grabbed Gareth by the shirt, pulling him down to kiss her. The guard didn’t even look in their direction.

 

 _“You taste like mint.”_ Gareth said jokingly.

 

Merlin turned the fucking comms off.

 

XxX

 

“Time off?” Harry put his newspaper down, his face showing his complete surprise.

 

“Just a couple of days. Maybe… I don’t know, ten?” Susan offered, hopeful.

 

“Don’t get me wrong,” Harry said. “I think it’s great you want to go out on vacation voluntarily. Everybody else needs to be forced. But why now?”

 

“I want to visit Henry and see New York, spend Christmas there,” She replied honestly. “It’s been many years since I last saw the United States and I used to live there.”

 

“That is a great idea,” Harry celebrated. “I think this is brilliant. You should really go.”

 

“Really?” She sighed, relived. “I thought I might have some trouble.”

 

“Not at all,” He said, sounding like a proud dad. “Go, have fun, but don’t forget to keep in touch. I’ll take care of your kids.”

 

“You’re the best, Harry.”

 

“Bring me something nice from there.”

 

XxX

 

“Roxy.”

 

_“Hello, my love.”_

 

Roxy smiled even though Uncle Timothy –how she normally called Percival – couldn’t see. “Hello, Uncle.”

_“I would like to invite you to have dinner with your Aunt and me.”_ He said pleasantly.

 

“I would love to, but I have a date today.” She said. In fact, she was in front of the mirror trying to decide if her dress was good enough.

 

 _“Oh, with lovely Miss Jill?”_ He asked, curious. _“When will we have the pleasure of meeting her?”_

 

“As soon as I’m sure you’re not going to scare her off by accident.” Roxy replied with a chuckle.

 

 _“I beg your pardon?”_ Percival asked with fake shock in his voice. _“What’s that supposed to mean?”_

 

“That I have an amazing family but you can be quite intimidating.” She replied politically.

 

 _“Well, in my defense, it’s all your Aunt’s fault.”_ Percival said without missing a beat.

 

 _“Whose fault?”_ Roxy bit her lip to keep from laughing at the outrage in Aunt Edith’s voice. She worked for the government’s Treasury Department and was the fiercest and scariest woman Roxy knew.

 

 _“All mine, sweetheart,”_ Percival answered promptly. _“Tomorrow then?”_ He asked Roxy this time.

 

“Tomorrow would be lovely,” She answered. “I’ll see you then, Uncle.”

 

_“See you then, precious.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet! At least I hope so.
> 
> Let me know how you feel!
> 
> xoxo


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!
> 
> Thanks for the kudos on the last chapter!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one as well. We are still going with fluff for now, but soon the real adventure shall start!

 

Susan loved New York. London would always be the land of her heart, but New York was special. She lived with Peggy there for years, she trained there, and it was the place that healed her soul.

 

She was happy to be back.

 

Henry went to pick her up at the airport with Abe, who didn’t remember her, but that wasn’t much of a surprise. The last time Susan had seen him, he was still a boy! Now he was an old man. It broke her heart, but it must be even worse for Henry. Immortality was more of a curse than a blessing.

 

They took her to their shop, where they insisted she should stay. She met Jo Martinez, the detective. She and Henry had to get a move on and start dating soon. It was kind of obvious.

 

In Susan’s first two days there, she went to see the sights and remember old places. On the third day, she helped Henry and Jo solve a crime.

 

It had been fun!

 

Abe was going around with her, and they were watching as many Broadway shows as they could. Every night they would have dinner together, then sit and talk. It was lovely.

 

Besides that, New York decorated for Christmas was absolutely gorgeous. She loved the lights and the trees. She even managed to take Henry ice skating.

 

On her ninth day there, Merlin called.

 

_“Hello, Susan.”_

 

“Good night, Merlin. Shouldn’t you be asleep? I’m pretty sure you’re five hours ahead of me.” She said.

 

_“I needed to work on some things.”_ He said calmly.

 

“Of course you did,” She rolled her eyes, but her smile was affectionate. She put her phone on speaker and kept getting ready to go out. “How are things there?”

 

_“Good.”_ He replied, then she heard barking.

 

“Is Reep with you?”

 

_“Yes. So are the cats.”_

 

“You have the kittens with you? Merlin, you shouldn’t have.”

 

_“They really like Reep. It felt unfair to leave them alone in the house.”_

“Merlin, you are way too sweet.”

 

She giggled as he sputtered on the other side of the phone. It sounded a bit like he had choked on something. Coffee, most likely, since he was probably trying to stay awake and finish whatever it was he needed to do.

 

_“How about you? How is your trip going?”_ He asked once he was calm again.

 

“Very well. New York’s gotten so big! Henry is lovely, as usual, and Abe is a gentleman! He raised that boy very well.” Susan said as she put the earrings in her ears. She was almost done.

 

_“Do you have any plans for tonight?”_

 

“I’m going out in a few minutes, actually.”

 

_“Dinner with Tristan?”_

 

“No… Hm…” She hesitated, even though she didn’t have anything to hide. “I didn’t keep in touch with Captain Rogers, but since I was here, I decided to call him. He wants to introduce me to Howard Stark’s son, so we are going out to dinner.”

 

_“Oh.”_ It was his only reply and then just silence.

 

“I bought something for you,” She said after a long pause. “I saw it and it made me think of you.”

 

_“What is it?”_ He asked.

 

“Well, it’s a surprise,” She said as if it was obvious. “You’ll have to wait.”

 

She heard the warm sound of his chuckle, a sound that she truly loved. _“I’ll be waiting with bated breath, then.”_

 

“I’ll be coming home soon,” She promised. “I know it’s been only a couple of days, but I…”

 

_“We all miss you terribly.”_ He said before she could finish.

 

“Yes, but how much have _you_ missed me?” She teased softly.

 

He was silent for a while and Susan wondered briefly if she had asked too much. She didn’t think so; maybe he was just being oversensitive.

 

_“I always miss you when you aren’t here,”_ He finally said. _“We aren’t the same without you. Have a good night and enjoy your dinner.”_

When she thought he wasn’t… Terrible man! Terrible, adorable, captivating man!

 

XxX

 

“Hey Daisy! Look what Susan brought you from New York.” Eggsy said with a huge smile to his baby sister.

 

Daisy squealed in delight upon seeing the amazing doll and Eggsy chuckled. Susan was very nice to his baby sister and his mom.

 

Daisy had grown a lot, she was almost four now. She was going to a good school, had good friends and –the most important –she was growing up in a good place.

 

Eggsy had managed to get his mother far away from Dean, but he didn’t trust the piece of shit to leave them alone, so he went and used all that Harry had against him to send the man to jail.

 

Harry hadn’t approved of that. He said he understood Eggsy’s motivations, but it didn’t make it right. The information they had was not collected through normal ways, and most of it was unknown by the authorities. He had risked a lot by sharing it.

 

The young man felt bad about his mentor’s disapproval, but he had made a choice. He chose to protect his baby sister. He wished he could say he was protecting his mother, but her… He didn’t have much hope that she wouldn’t eventually just go back to Dean or find someone very similar.

 

She was heartbroken when Dean got arrested, god knows why. But now things were better. She was working, she seemed happier.

 

He knew he couldn’t take care of her –she was an adult, after all –but all he could do to make sure Daisy was happy would be done. She was the most precious thing is his life and he would protect her at all costs.

 

Not even Harry could fault him for that.

 

XxX

 

“Hey, are you almost done here?” Susan asked, leaning against the doorframe. “Everybody is downstairs eating and drinking.”

 

“I’ll be down in a minute. It’s almost done.” Merlin said absent mindedly, his eyes on the computer screen.

 

“You know I could just take this to anyone, right?” She asked gently. “You don’t have to waste your time fixing it for me.”

 

“Considering that this is connected to our files, I guess I do.”

 

Susan rolled her eyes. She had invited some of the agents to her house for a dinner to celebrate the New Year and had briefly commented on the fact that her computer was acting strange –not that she knew what was actually normal for a computer –and Merlin had dropped everything to check on it.

 

Reep –the traitor –had his head on the man’s thigh, looking adoringly up at him and Merlin would occasionally pet the dog’s head.

 

“Should I bake you something as a thank you?” She offered sarcastically.

 

“I’ll count us even, based on your present.” He said.

 

Merlin still didn’t know what was more embarrassing: that he was a huge dork that liked Star Wars or that she knew it and bought him an amazing replica of the Starfighter.

 

“It was my pleasure.” She said with a satisfied smile.

 

“All done,” He declared, rising from the chair and closing her laptop. “Do you want to know what was wrong with it?”

 

“Not particularly.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “At least it’s fixed.”

 

“You’re good like that,” She offered condescendingly. “Now let’s go. People are starting to get hungry.”

 

“Eggsy is probably whining right now as we speak.” They shared a smile.

 

“Merlin…” Susan started carefully. “Are we… Are we okay?”

 

This seemed to confuse him. “We are. Why wouldn’t we be?”

 

“Sorry, maybe I’m just being silly, but I felt we were a bit off since I came back.” She hesitantly said.

 

“We’re good,” Merlin firmly stated. “I’ve been working too much, Dagonet’s being a prick again… It’s not you.”

 

“Okay. Now I feel like I was being needy. Ignore me.” She laughed but she seemed a bit embarrassed.

 

“You’re not needy,” Merlin stated, grasping her hand loosely in his. “You’re the least needy person I know.”

 

“Thanks, I guess.” She said with a little laugh.

 

Merlin was looking at her. She couldn’t figure out what he was thinking of for the life of her. She was very aware that his hand was still holding hers and his thumb would occasionally sweep over her knuckles. It was very distracting.

 

“What are you thinking of?” She asked, because she really wanted to know.

 

“You have an amazing smile. I love how we see more of it nowadays.” He replied with more honesty than she thought he would.

 

She turned fully to him, so she just had to incline her head a bit to look at him. “I guess I have more reasons to smile now.”

 

Merlin’s eyes went for the hand he was still holding. He brought it up and dropped a single kiss across her knuckles. “I’m happy to hear it.”

 

Susan took one step in his direction unconsciously. “Merlin…”

 

He was looking at her like he knew what she was about to say or do. Or maybe he had come to some kind of decision, because he also took one step in her direction and now there was very little space between them.

 

“SUE! I’M HUNGRY!”

 

Eggsy’s voice broke the spell. Merlin let go of her hand and cleared his throat. “We better go before he starts pouting.”

 

She forced a smile. “Yes, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Susan goes on a mission and things start getting real.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Let me know how you feel.
> 
> xoxo


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Back for more.
> 
> Now the story will take shape and things will start to get interesting. Susan will have a brand new challange ahead of her.
> 
> This is completely un-betaed (oh lord, is this a word?). I am sorry ofr any glaring mistakes. So feel free to tell me about them.
> 
> Hope you like it.

“This is the target. Cillian Creagan, Irish arms dealer.”

Susan threw a glance at Merlin, but he was in full professional mode. Well, if they were okay before, they sure as hell weren’t anymore.

“He is quite charming.” Roxy teased from her side. “I can take this one if you want.”

Susan traded a smile with the other girl and turned to look at the image. He was very charming. Creagan was in his late forties and his black hair and beard had some silver in it. His eyes were amazingly blue.

“Actually this isn’t a honey pot.” Harry called from his position. “Which is why Susan is going. I heard you are very good at accounting.”

“I studied it. It also got me very interested in the stock market.” Susan confirmed. After she landed on this time Urien had updated her on some things and she was back on the game.

“And that’s why you are the one going.” Merlin said, still not looking at her. “We managed to arrest Creagan’s accountant, so he will be needing a new one fast.”

Merlin was acting this way since the dinner at her house, almost a week ago. Susan guessed it was time for her to get a clue, like Roxy would say. Not that Roxy knew about anything.

“Is he the kind of man that will accept a woman in the position?” Susan asked, because it was a valid question. If this guy was the kind of idiot that didn’t think woman could do this kind of work it would be a pointless mission.

“As strange as it sounds, yes.” Merlin seemed pretty mystified by the fact: a criminal that believed in equal opportunities. “He is amazingly pro equality. He also insists on professionalism.”

“But get as close to him as you can.” Harry cut in the conversation. “Make him trust you, show his secrets to you.”

“So you want me to seduce him.” Susan summarized.

“With care.” Merlin added.

“Okay.” She sighed. “I guess this means I have a job interview.” She was trying to figure out the best shoes for that. Should she get a new power suit?

XxX

Creagan was a very secretive man. There were very few pictures of him and it took a lot of digging for them to start finding interesting things about him. His family was from North Ireland, somewhere close to Belfast. His father had sold his fair share of guns to IRA, until the military found him. They raided the family’s house and killed Creagan’s father and his older brother. As their mother had died before that Cillian and his younger sister became orphans and were thrown in the system of a country that was in its worst possible moment. The sister had a health problem and didn’t last one year.

It was no surprise that he truly hated governments and did his best to fuck with them all. In the last years a lot of rebels in countries had been armed by him. Curiously it was somewhat the Kingsman’s fault that he became even more powerful and influent, since it was the agency –or better yet, Susan –that killed his biggest rival: Iakov Gribkov.

It was one hell of a karmic joke.

They had no idea of how long Susan would have to stay close to Creagan to find all the information they needed, so she was given a new identity by the name of Susan Peterson and her history was very similar to her own. In long missions it was easier to keep it close to the truth, so the risks of her forgetting something were lower.

A man called Sergei called her less than a week after the debriefing. He gave her very specific instructions. She was picked in London by a black car, that took her to a private plane, that flew her to somewhere in Spain. And then there was a man waiting for her in a black car.

“Miss Peterson, I take.” His eyes went down her body appreciatively. “I’m Mr. Belasco. I’ll drive you to the compound.”

Susan nodded and got inside the car in the backseat. The man didn’t talk to her the whole way, but he would occasionally throw her a glance in the rearview mirror.

They drove for a good while before they arrived at the gates of an immense compound. There where guards at the entrance, but they opened way when they saw who was driving the car. Susan sat quietly, her eyes taking everything in. The house was close to the beach and it was gorgeous. It was in true Spanish style and very big. There were many armed men walking around, guarding the place.

Yes, she was in the right place.

Belasco opened the door for her with a mocking bow. “I’ll take you to talk to Mr. Creagan.”

She followed him through the house. She saw a couple of maids working quietly, but they didn’t seem tense or scared. Belasco said hello to two men that passed by them and said some very rude things about her in Spanish to them. Susan ignored it and kept following him.

He opened a door and gestured for her to go in. “By the way, Mr. Belasco, I wouldn’t let you touch me wearing a space suit.” She informed him in perfect Spanish.

She pulled the door to close on the man’s shocked face.

A thin man with sparse blond hair rose when she stepped further into the room. Her eyes went to Creagan, who was sitting by the back of the room, very absorbed in reading the newspaper.

“Miss Peterson, thank you for coming. I am Cillian Creagan.” The thin man said.

Interesting.

“Please sit.” The fake Creagan pointed at an armchair.

She sat gracefully. “This is a lovely house.”

“Oh yes, it is.” He said dismissively. “You’ll probably be happy to be out in the sun, after such a long time in Norway.”

Norway, the place where she was supposedly working before. “Of course. Though the sun is bad for my delicate English complexion.”

Fake Creagan narrowed his eyes, but the real one opened a small smile.

“You have a great resume for someone so young.” It sounded a whole lot like an accusation the way fake-Creagan said it.

“I started early because I plan to retire early. On my own private island with lots of shoes.” She said before she could help herself. She could picture Merlin right now groaning in frustration.

“We don’t like funny people here.” Fake-Creagan said seriously then he looked her up and down. “And we don’t encourage… Mingling.”

“Well, then I don’t want the job.” Susan declared easily. “I was hoping to find a husband.”

The real Creagan threw his head back and laughed. “She’s hired.” He declared.

The fake one got up quickly. “But Mr. Creagan…”

“Mr. Creagan?” Susan said, arching a brow.

“Sorry for the theater, Miss Peterson.” Creagan said coming close and offering her his hand. “I’m Cillian Creagan. This is Mr. Sergei.”

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Creagan.” She accepted the hand and they shook on it. “So am I hired?”

“Yes, for now.” He said a bit more seriously. “Let’s see how long you last.”

“The good thing about this is I love a challenge.” She replied with a small smile.

“Then you’re in the right place. I’ll show you your room.”

XxX

Susan’s room was lovely, all done in earth tones, its style going beautifully with the rest of the house. It was also full of surveillance equipment, Merlin informed her.

“Grab the silver lipstick tube and put on the bedside table. It’ll tell us what kind of equipment it is.” Merlin directed her.

Hopefully it hadn’t picked on her comms. Susan did as directed and put her bags on the bed and started unpacking without a care in the world.

“They’re just microphones.” Merlin informed her after a while. “Guess you’ll have to write your reports.”

Susan had to hold in the urge to groan.

XxX

Susan adapted to the routine very easily. Creagan’s previous accountant was very organized and she found no mistakes on his files. Everything was in order, but there was a lot of money going in and out at any given time and she had to pay a lot of attention to what she was doing.

She didn’t see much of Cillian –what was a problem –but she managed to get the scope pf the whole house and the people in it. Belasco was a pig and was Creagan’s chief of security; he would make suggestive jokes to her all the time and slap the maids butts. Susan hoped to have the chance of beating the hell out of him before this was over. 

Sergei was Creagan’s right hand man and he didn’t like her all that much. Then she found out that he didn’t like anyone but his boss. He also didn’t trust anyone, so he kept an eye on her.

The house staff was friendly but a bit scared. They would talk to her and laugh, but would scurry if Belasco or Sergei came around. Creagan, however –curiously –would also stop and talk to them.

Creagan had stopped twice in a week to talk to her; they were quick conversations, all business related. Susan needed to get closer to him at least a bit.

She knew that he didn’t sleep many hours a night and that his room faced the pool and the ocean. She decided to try something a bit bold –and hoped to God not to meet with Belasco instead.

Creagan was very professional, as ridiculous as it sounded. He didn’t treat her differently than he treated anyone else. This was great and all and in any other situation Susan would be happy to keep it that way, but he needed to see her in another light.

They were all used to see her with her hair and makeup done, in power suits and glasses. It was time to change that. She scrubbed her face clean of any make up and made a lazy braid on her hair. She chose very carefully what to wear, because it was a subtle kind of seduction, but it was still seduction.

She chose white silk pajama pants and a camisole. On top of it she put a dark blue silk robe that had a Japanese style and left it open. She took a deep breath and left her glasses behind, along with her comm and a complaining Merlin.

It was late and the whole house was quiet. She opened one of the French doors and walked to the pool. There was an armed guard going around the perimeter. Susan waved at him and he kept on his way.

The view was beautiful tonight. The moon was almost completely full and it reflected on the sea. The pool area was well lit, but not enough that it stopped her from seeing the stars.

Susan wasn’t sure how long she stood there, very close to the pool in complete silence, until she heard steps behind her.

“Should I be worried that you are down here, staring at the pool in the middle of the night on your first week?”

She turned to him as if she was startled. “Mr. Creagan!” Her hand went to close the sash of her robe, like she didn’t want him to see her like that. “I don’t think so. If I turn out to be very bad at my job you might worry.”

He arched a brow. “That’s not reassuring.”

“Sorry.” She shook her head. “Bad joke.”

He was still fully dressed with the same clothes she saw him right after dinner. He had probably been working until now. There was some kind of big deal that was going down next week. She was trying to get more information about it, but with little success so far.

“You seem haunted.” He commented, stepping next to her, his eyes on the ocean.

“It’s the silence.” She shrugged. “It brings bad memories and I hate it.”

“Don’t we all?” He replied calmly. “That’s why we try to fill it with mindless conversation. What does the silence reminds you?”

That was good. She was trying to make a connection with him and she was going to use whatever she could to do it. Including the loss of her family, a point she had I common with him.

“It makes me think of happier times, when my siblings were still alive. It mocks me and reminds me I am alone now.” She replied honestly. She was keeping the lie real, so there would be real feelings behind what she said.

“You lost all your family on a plane crash.” It wasn’t a question.

She gave a humorless laugh. “It’s in my file, I take.”

“Yes. It must be painful.”

She threw him a glance. “You look like someone that actually knows the answer to that. Does it get better?”

“Never.” He replied instantly, his expression saying nothing of how he felt.

“That’s not reassuring.”

I was his turn to shrug. “It’s the truth. It’s not meant to be reassuring.”

“Fair enough.”

They stood there, side by side, both looking at the sea for a bit more, before he turned to her. “You should sleep, Miss Peterson.”

“It’s midnight and I am on my pajamas by the pool, Mr. Creagan. Call me Susan.” She teased softly with a small smile.

His lip quirked a bit on the corner and his eyes slid briefly by her. “You really should go to sleep, Susan.”

“Yes, Mr. Creagan.” She nodded to him and started going back inside.

“Just Cillian is fine.” He called after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cillian is a problem in my life. Soon you'll see why. I chose Richard Armitage to represent him and I have a huge crush on the guy, so I think my love went to him... lol
> 
> Alson, since he's Irish I chose the Irish spelling for his name. (C, not a K).
> 
> Not sure you guys remember Iakov Gribkov, but he was Susan's first target once she came to the future.
> 
> There are some pictures on the pinterest board. Check it out!


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments! 
> 
> Creagan is here to bring chaos to Susan and you guys as well... lol He is way too charming and Susan is feeling way too lonely. Not a good combination.
> 
> This chapter has not been beta read, so only the Lord knows what you'll find in it. I hope it's not too bad, but let me know in case there's something that really needs to be changed.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

 

“Oh good. You’re ready to go.”

 

Susan looked to the sides to be sure that Creagan was talking to her. “I beg your pardon?”

 

“Business lunch.” He informed her. “You’re coming with me.”

 

“Okay. Should I grab my purse?” She said.

 

“Be my guest.” He made a gesture for her to go ahead. “But be quick, we have to catch the plane.”

 

Susan went to her room and got her things.

 

 _“Be careful, Guinevere.”_ Merlin said softly in her ear.

 

She couldn’t answer him so the just went to meet Creagan. These days she had been writing in paper what she wanted to inform Merlin and let him read it through the video feed in her glasses, then she would burn it and flush it down the toilet. It was a lot of work and it was starting to annoy her.

 

“I’m ready to go.” She informed him once she was downstairs.

 

Creagan gave her a nod of approval and they went to the car. Once there Susan double checked to see if she had all she needed then proceeded to refresh her make up. When she looked up Creagan was looking at her with a bemused expression.

 

“What?” She asked.

 

“Nothing.” He had one of those small smiles she was starting to associate with him. “It’s always entertaining to see a woman dolling herself up.”

 

“I’m glad I can be of service in other areas.” She offered sarcastically.

 

He chuckled but said nothing else, looking at his phone.

 

They boarded the private plane and Susan was about to sit a bit far from Creagan when he called her. “Miss Peterson, come sit by me and tell me about my finances.”

 

Susan arched a brow but did as she was told. They sat and talked business for over an hour, then Creagan asked her how she was adapting to the new job.

 

Susan checked her watch. He said it was a business lunch, but they had been flying for an hour and it still was ten in the morning. “Where are we going again?” She asked.

 

“Cannes. I have a big client that likes to spend his time there.” He informed her.

 

“Oh lovely. It’s been a good while since I’ve been to France.”

 

“We can’t have that.” Another of those smiles. “Maybe you should take the chance to walk a bit around after we have our lunch.”

 

“I wouldn’t want to delay your return.” She replied diplomatically.

 

“Nonsense.” He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “I’ll stay for a bit more in company of the client and you go do whatever young independent girls do.”

 

“Young independent woman, Mr. Creagan.” She corrected. “I’m not a girl.”

 

“I am well aware of that.” And another smile.

 

xXx

 

A woman named Miss Delacroix was waiting for them at the airport. Creagan greeted her with a kiss on her hand and a whole lot of pleasantries before introducing her to Susan.

 

Susan found out that day that Miss Delacroix was some kind of sales representative, one of four, but she was the best. She went around looking for clients for Creagan and was well compensated for her troubles.

 

The man they met for lunch was a rich entrepreneur from somewhere in Europe who was helping along a revolution in a small African country that had lots of diamonds and a healthy quantity of oil. The country was currently under some kind of dictatorship, but the rebels were not much better and the only people that were really affected by it were the civilians.

 

Creagan didn’t mind it at all, not with how much he was getting for the weapons and grenade launchers.

 

Susan minded it a lot.

 

She stuck around for numbers, accounts and the works. Eventually Creagan told her to go take that walk. She did just that.

 

She walked for half an hour to make sure she was not being followed and finally went to a café and sat on the back.

 

“Did you get all of that?” She asked Merlin in a low voice.

 

 _“Yes, we are checking everything.”_ He said reassuringly _. “I know it’s hard for you to have to hear those things and not be able to do anything about it, but be strong, Guinevere.”_

“I know. I’m doing my best to stop him. But, Merlin… We take him down there will be another. Just like it happened here.” She sighed frustrated.

 

_“Yes, and we’ll take him down too. We’ll go against all of them. Don’t lose faith.”_

 

“I miss you.” She admitted.

 

He was silent for a bit. _“We’ll talk when you get back.”_ He finally said with great reluctance.

 

It wasn’t encouraging.

 

xXx

 

The deal on Cannes was closed beautifully and they went back to Spain a bit richer. Creagan asked Susan where she had gone while on the city, then proceeded to tell her the places he liked best.

 

It was truly impressive how he felt absolutely no remorse over the fact that he just sold many weapons that most likely would kill many innocents. Actually he was a very charming man if you didn’t take that in consideration.

 

Susan could never ignore this.

 

Most of the time she wasn’t really sure if she was succeeding on the mission. She was getting a whole lot of information, but Creagan didn’t seem to be interested in her on any particular way.

 

It was frustrating as hell.

 

A bit more than a week after Cannes she was in a party in Madrid thrown by some politician. Creagan was there with a blonde arm candy and Belasco and Sergei were around too.

 

Harry took the chance to send Gareth to check on her quickly. He came as a guest and stopped to talk to her as if to flirt. “Good to know super rich arms dealers also go to boring parties.” He said as greeting.

 

“Hello to you too.” She wanted to hug him. She felt so lonely since she couldn’t properly talk to anyone at the HQ, not even have the conversations she used to have with Merlin before. Though she wasn’t sure he would even talk to her properly now.

 

“How are things?” Gareth asked her casually, his eyes checking the whole area around them.

 

“Good. I might have news this week.” She told him, but her expression was closed, like his presence was bothering her.

 

“Are they treating you alright? Do you think they suspect of you?” He insisted.

 

“No.”

 

“If you need anything let us know.” Gareth said seriously. “I can get you out of that house in 13 minutes.”

 

“Thanks, Gareth. You have to go now.” She could see Belasco approaching them.

 

“Oh come on, princess.” Gareth whined, completely transformed. “One dance!”

 

“She’s not interested, buddy, get lost.” Belasco said menacingly, putting his hands on Gareth shoulder.

 

“No need to be rude, amigo.” Gareth slurred as if drunk.

 

“Get out.” Belasco said and followed Gareth with his eyes to make sure the man truly left. Then he turned to Susan, checking her. “Miss Peterson, all good? ”

 

“Yes, Mr. Belasco. Lovely evening, no?” She gestured to the place in general with the champagne flute on her hand.

 

“Speak for yourself.” He snorted. “I want a beer, a hooker and a blowjob.”

 

She sighed. “Must you be so crass?”

 

“Must you be such a prude?” He replied without missing a bit.

 

“As much as I appreciate the rescue, don’t you have someone else to bother?” She snapped.

 

“Who better than the boss’ pet?” He said pleasantly.

 

“I’m not the boss’s pet.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s not exactly what he wants you to be.” He had a suggestive smile on his lips.

 

Before Susan could reply she felt someone stopping right behind her. “Mr. Belasco, I believe Sergei was looking for you.” It was Creagan’s voice.

 

Belasco grumbled something but left. Susan sighed in relief and turned to her boss. “Thank you, Mr. Creagan.”

 

“Has he offended you?” He asked serious.

 

“He is an idiot, but I can handle him.”

 

“It’s becoming very clear to me that you can handle a lot.” He conceded with a nod.

 

“Where is your date?” Susan asked looking around. The girl had to be hired from God knows where.

 

“She actually was bait for someone else. She is doing a great job about it right now.” Creagan pointed at an old man that had his arm around the girl who seemed to be fawning over him.

 

“I see.” She tried to contain her smile.

 

“How about you?” He looked at her, one brow raised. “No date?”

 

“I’m a modern independent woman, Mr. Creagan.” She crossed her arms and raised her chin haughtily “Quite capable of going to a party on my own.”

 

The smile that she was starting to associate with him appeared on his lips. “And how said independent woman dances?” He challenged.

 

“I wait for men ditched by their dates to ask me.” She replied with a mischievous smile.

 

Creagan chuckled and offered her his hand. “Would you care to dance, Susan?”

 

“Yes, Mr. Creagan.” She said politely, putting her champagne flute down.

 

“Cillian.” He reminded her.

 

“Cillian.” She smiled at him.

 

He seemed satisfied and took her to the dancefloor where other couples were already dancing. The band was playing a good selection of jazz and Creagan was a decent dancer.

 

He spun her and she saw the blonde on the arm of the other man. “I didn’t know we were here on business.” She commented.

 

“I wouldn’t be here for any other reason.” Creagan replied when he brought her back to him. “I despise all these presumptuous rich people.”

 

She arched a brow. “Isn’t that a bit hypocrite of you? You are one of those rich people.”

 

“I like to think I’m different from all of them.” He offered simply.

 

“How so?” Susan challenged, though she was thinking more of something along the lines of ‘everybody wants to think that’.

 

“I came from the bottom and I know it.” He explained. “I had to work damn hard to be where I am now and I’ll never forget that. But I don’t feel that I have to prove myself to any of them.” He made a gesture with his head to encompass all the people there. “They’re costumers. I couldn’t care less about what they think of me.”

 

“You just keep surprising me, Cillian.” She said and it was a bit more honest than she would’ve preferred it to be.

 

“I wouldn’t want you to be bored.” He spun her, surprising laughter out of her.

 

“I think it’s easy to see that I’m very far from it.” She replied a bit breathless.

 

“I’m pleased to hear that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you feel!
> 
> xoxo


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there!
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments! Mr. Creagan is getting a lot of love these days! Charming bastard! lol  
> He was a challenge to write, because I was very much in love with him by the time this was over... Poor Susan.
> 
> This chapter has not been beta-read, so let me know if there's something that needs to be corrected.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

There was a tiny problem: Creagan didn’t trust computers at all, because they were easy to be hacked. It was actually very smart of him, but very bad for Susan.

 

She knew he kept some sort of ledger with a list of clients, suppliers and whole lot of information. She just didn’t know where.

 

It was becoming frustrating, almost as frustrating as not being able to talk to the people at the HQ. Sometimes Eggsy or Roxy would talk to her at night, telling her about their day, but every day that passed and she could not reply, just listen, she felt more distant and lonelier.

 

In one particular frustrating night, after hearing Eggsy tell her all about Roxy’s birthday party, she kicked her covers and got up.

 

She quickly changed into some sports clothes and went downstairs where they had a full gym. She was going to run until she was ready to collapse in bed. She could not be alone with her thoughts anymore.

 

When Susan approached the gym she saw light coming from there and soon heard the sound of someone punching the hell out of a punching bag. She considered turning and going back to bed, but now she would not be able to sleep, so she decided to check who it was. If it was Belasco she would go back to bed, because there was no way she would be alone with him anywhere.

 

It wasn’t Belasco. It was Creagan. He was barefoot, wearing sweat pants and a tank top. He saw her at the exact same time she saw him, so he stopped. “Miss Peterson. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

 

“Shouldn’t you?” She threw back.

 

“I don’t need to sleep many hours.” He shrugged.

 

“Well, I lost my sleep, so I’ll try to get it back by getting tired. Do you mind if I run?”

 

“Not at all.” He indicated the treadmill with his head and went back to punching the bag.

 

Susan put her earphones on and started to run. The bad thing was that the treadmill was pointed directly at Creagan, so she was running, but she was in a great spot to watch him as well.

 

Roxy had said from the beginning: Creagan was charming. He had a face that wouldn’t be lost on a king or someone with extreme power, his eyes were very intense. This was the first time she saw him in something other than a suit and his shoulders… Well, he probably kept busy and did a whole lot more than just punch bags.

 

She ran for half an hour and he kept his pace. She finally decided that it was enough running –and ogling –and decided to call it a night.

 

When she stepped out the treadmill he called her over. “Can you throw a punch, Susan?”

 

“Do I look like the kind of person that goes around throwing punches?” She said as if it was obvious.

 

He frowned. “You need to know how to defend yourself.”

 

“I can shoot.” She informed.

 

“Sometimes it’s not enough. It’s a dangerous world out there, Susan.” He said seriously.

 

“So what do you suggest?” She arched her brow.

 

“Come here and I’ll show you a couple of things that even an inexperienced fighter can do.” He said making a gesture for her to come closer.

 

Susan could fight very well, thank you very much. She had even been learning krav maga with Dagonet and jiu-jitsu with Bors. But not the Susan that Creagan knew; that Susan was a bit helpless.

 

She approached him and realized this was actually a good idea. Physical contact and close proximity should spark Creagan’s interest somehow.

 

“Are you going to show me how to punch someone?” She asked.

 

“No. It requires strength and if you do it wrong you can do more harm to yourself than to your opponent.” He replied easily. “I’m going to show you simple things that you can do even if the attacker is someone bigger than you.”

 

Susan nodded and put herself face to face with him.

 

“Now, in case whoever attacks you comes at you from your front and -let’s say –grab your shoulders remember the soft areas. These are vulnerable areas in anyone, doesn’t matter how tough the guy is. There are eyes, ears, nose, throat and groin.” He indicated each area on himself. “Now, they’re easy to hurt and don’t require a lot of strength, but if you have something in your hand –like a pen or keys –just shove in their eyes with all you have.”

 

“That’s disgusting.” She said.

 

“But it keeps you alive. If you have nothing in your hands, you just use them. In case someone grabs you by the front just use your thumbs to gauge their eyes.”

 

Creagan showed her a couple of moves and made her repeat them a few times. He was patient, but also rigid, she had to do it right or she would do it again.

 

“Okay. That’s good.” He said after the fifth time he made her try to knee him in the groin. “Let’s see what you would do if someone grabbed you from behind.”

 

“You are all sweaty.” She informed him with a laugh. “You are not grabbing me.”

 

“Oh really?” He arched a brow.

 

A second before that smile of his appeared she knew the sentence had the planned effect. Men tended to be very predictable. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back against his chest, holding her in a bear hug.

 

“What can you do now, Susan?” He asked, his arms tightening around her.

 

She could think of over a dozen ways to get out of that situation, but of course she said none of it. He was holding her very snuggly against himself and she could feel the planes of his chest, his breath against her neck, his arms against the skin of her belly where her top had ridden up. Suddenly it felt… No, she wouldn’t even think of the word.

 

Susan turned her head a bit, so she could see a bit of his face. “I could ask you, very nicely, to let me go.”

 

His lips grazed her ear and his breath warmed her face when he answered. “That’s not happening.”

 

“Okay then.” Her voice came out a bit breathless and she hated herself a bit for that.

 

Creagan lifted her from the ground, so she hooked her right leg around his right leg, grabbed his fingers and twisted. When Creagan dropped her, she turned quickly and mimicked elbowing him in the throat and kneeing him on the groin.

 

He looked very impressed.

 

“I thought you didn’t know how to fight.” He said with a smile.

 

“I said I don’t go around punching people.” She reminded him. “But I’m a woman in a men’s world. I have to know a thing or two, Mr. Cillian.”

 

“You just beat the hell out of me. I guess you should be calling me Cillian.” He offered still smiling.

 

“I’m pretty sure you were holding back, but I’ll take the compliment, Cillian. And I’ll go to bed now.”

 

“What’s the name of your perfume, Susan?” He asked before she left.

 

“It’s Chanel.”

 

“N° 5?” He guessed.

 

“I’m a classic girl at heart.” She said affecting a pose.

 

Cillian chuckled. “Well, it suits you.”

 

“Thank you.” She left to go back to her room, but now she knew. There isn’t much that can be hidden you have your body flushed against someone else’s. She was in the right track.

 

XxX

 

“Miss Peterson, why are you not sleeping?”

 

Susan threw a look over her shoulder and sighed. “You’re an awful lot worried about my sleeping habits.”

 

Cillian wasn’t supposed to be here. He had gone on a business trip to somewhere in South America. He was due in two days, so something must have happened. He didn’t look stressed or tired, even though it was very late and he must have just arrived.

 

“I need you to be at top condition to work for me.” He said coming inside the office.

 

“Of course.” Susan conceded putting her glass on the coffee table in front of her. She had papers and a decanter on this table as well. Her slippers were on the carpet, while her feet were on the settee where she sat.

 

“What are you doing up so late?” Cillian asked confused, looking around to her on her pajamas and the papers.

 

“I was checking the movements in your bank accounts and something weird caught my eye.” She explained calmly. “I called your manager and we are checking them all right now. I’m waiting for his answer.”

 

Cillian arched a bow. “It’s one in the morning.”

 

“For the amount we pay them, he’d better wake up and solve this.” Susan said without pity. “As for me, there are a lot of shoes I still want to buy, so I need to do the extra hours.”

 

“I don’t pay you extra hours.”

 

Her smile was full of mischief. “Oh yes, you do.”

 

Cillian chuckled. “Your dedication is highly appreciated.” He undid his tie and threw it with his jacket on an armchair. “Should you be drinking?”

 

“I’m off the clock.” Susan said with a smirk.

 

He wasn’t even trying to be serious anymore. “May I?” He asked indicating the settee.

 

“Yes, please.” She put her feet down and indicated the place now free.

 

Cillian grabbed a glass on the cabinet, before coming to sit by her. He grabbed the decanter and poured a bit for himself. “There’s something very attractive about a woman that drinks pure whisky.”

 

Susan picked her glass to click against his. “My father wasn’t raising a lady.” She said before taking a sip.

 

“Curiously you turned into one anyway.” Cillian commented reclining against the back of the settee and looking at her.

 

“That was a choice, a transformation that I forced on myself. I wanted to be a lady.”

 

“You succeeded remarkably.” He raised his glass as if toasting to her.

 

“Why, thank you, sir. So did you.” She fixed his eyes on him and Cillian gave a humorless chuckle.

 

“That obvious, hm?” He said looking at his glass.

 

“It takes one to know one.” She offered politically.

 

Cillian turned his head to look at her. Susan was already prepared for that small smile of his, but when she actually saw it… It was no good for her.

 

“You are something else, you know that, right?” He said in a serious way.

 

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

 

Cillian turned his body so he could look at her better, that damned smile still on his lips. “I should probably go to bed.” He sighed.

 

“You must be tired.” Susan agreed.

 

He put his elbow in the back of the settee and used his hand to support his head. “That’s not the reason.” His eyes never left her.

 

“Mr. Creagan…” Susan started saying, making him chuckle.

 

“I feel like I’m about to be scolded.” He said.

 

“Can’t you even guess why?” She tried to say it seriously, but she was smiling at the end.

 

“I’m sorry.” He was smirking.

 

“No, you’re not.” She accused.

 

That was when her phone rang.

 

“It’s the manager.” She cleared her throat and picked it up. “Peterson. Yes. Did you find the problem?” She paused to listen. “WHAT?”

 

XxX

 

Sergei had been stealing money from Cillian.

 

Susan just could not believe that he would betray Cillian like that! Or that he would be this stupid.

 

Sergei had been in some kind of scheme with the previous accountant. A lot of money came in and out of the accounts that Cillian had. Some of it were payments they received and there was a lot of people being paid by them (among employees and bribes), besides the money laundering.

 

Susan may have never noticed that specific amount of money if she hadn’t been working extra hours because she could not sleep. It was hardly a lot of money, but it was faithfully transferred to two accounts in specific days. It was an automatic operation, it did not even require approval.

 

She thought it was weird, because she could not figure out what it was for. That’s when she checked it. Raj –the previous accountant –had made a deal with Sergei. He was taking just a bit of money monthly, something that would hardly be missed. This money went to their personal accounts.

 

Raj had been acquiring quite the savings while he was in prison. Sergei on the other hand, was still there.

 

Of course Raj would suffer a very sudden death in prison, but Sergei…

 

When Susan told Cillian what was going on he got up and told her to go to sleep. She was so scared of his eyes that she did. In the next morning he called everybody of the house to go to the basement where Sergei was tied.

 

Susan had to watch Cillian torture and beat the man for over an hour before Cillian finally decided to shoot him and end the whole thing.

 

As soon as she could Susan went to her room and threw up. She didn’t care if they could hear it. Sergei was not a good man or person, but it went against everything she believed to just stand and let someone be hurt without the chance to defend himself.

 

_“Susan, it’s me.”_ Merlin’s voice came out of nowhere, so comforting. _“I know it’s hard, but you just need to hold on a little bit more. Just a little more and you’ll be home with us. We miss you. Hold on.”_

She could not answer. She could not say she missed them as well, that she wanted to go home. She had to be strong; she had to finish the mission.

 

Later, that same day, Belasco came to knock on Susan’s door and told her that Cillian wanted to see her in his room.

 

She took a deep breath and went. The door was open so she went in, just in time to see him pulling a drawer back in place to cover something on the wall: a safe.

 

“Did you ask me to come here?” She asked.

 

“Yes.” He came closer and gently took her face between his hands. “I’m so sorry that I made you see what happened with Sergei. But everybody needed to see that and take as a lesson.” He said gently. “But I’m really sorry it upset you.”

 

“It didn’t upset me.” She said, pretending to act strong.

 

“You threw up.” He pointed out.

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Not the point.” He said casually. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you had to see that.”

 

“It’s okay.” She lied. “I know why it was needed.”

 

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you saw.” He said dropping his hands. He was looking into her eyes and seemed so sincere. “The thing I despise the most is betrayal. What Sergei did…” He took a deep breath and touched her chin gently. “You’re the best thing that happened to us in a good time.”

 

“Cillian…”

 

“Wait. I have something for you.” He said stepping away from her and picking up a velvet box that had been on his bed.

 

He came closer and opened to show her the pearl necklace: it had two rows of white pearls and the clasp was artfully made, so it looked more like a detail of the jewelry –a flower of white diamonds. It was one of the most beautiful things Susan had ever seen and she loved pearls.

 

“Oh my…” Susan covered her mouth with her hands.

 

“Do you like it?” Cillian asked with that damned smile of his.

 

Susan looked at him shocked. “If I like it? That’s too much! I can’t…”

 

“Of course you can.” Cillian said immediately, taking the necklace and throwing the box carelessly towards the bed. “May I?”

 

“I guess…” Susan gave him her back. Cillian put the necklace around her neck and took his sweet time closing it.

 

“Perfect.” He declared when he was done.

 

“It’s beautiful. I love it.” Susan said honestly, her hand going to the pearls.

 

“You deserve it.” He turned her to him. “You did very well, Susan. I really appreciate your work.”

 

“Thank you, Cillian.” She felt her heart beating a bit too fast, but she didn’t want to really understand what was happening to herself.

 

Cillian cupped Susan’s face with one of his hand. “You’re welcome. Now… You should go back to your room.” He said seriously.

 

Yes, she should. Now she knew where the safe was and the ledger had to be there. It was time this mission ended. She needed to get away from this man, the sooner, the better.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things...
> 
> I am not an expert in self-defense, so I watched a dozen videos on Youtube and grabbed a couple of things. I have no idea how useful (or not) this moves are.
> 
> Also, the necklace that Cillian gave to Susan is on the Pinterest board.
> 
> Hope you liked! Next chapter is going to be crazy! Susan will be on a very complicated situation... And Merlin will not deal well with it all.
> 
> Let me know how you feel!
> 
> xoxo


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and for reading this!
> 
> So... Things are abut to go South and it's not going to be fun...
> 
> SLUT SHAMING WARNING!!! I thought for a long time if I should put this warning here, but I decided that it's fair. It's not going to be brutal, direct slut shaming. It's actually very subtle, but it's there and it's done by someone that should know better, so... I don't know, just proceed with caution, please.
> 
> Also, this is not beta-read (as per usual), so I apologize in advance.

 

It was almost over. Merlin had all the information he needed so he and Arthur could come up with a plan. It was just a matter of waiting.

 

They decided to steal the ledger and “kidnap” Susan on their way out, so this identity of hers would be protected in case they ever needed it again.

 

So Susan kept going about her business in the house as usual. She was always wearing the necklace Cillian gave her –after Merlin assured her it was free of any devices –and she sometimes had dinner or lunch with him. He was getting closer, he was starting to show interest.

 

It was good it was almost over, because it was getting harder and harder for her to focus when she was close to him.

 

They had a plan. Cillian had a business trip to France. He would be gone for just one day, but he would take Belasco with him, so it would be the perfect opportunity. Gareth –who was very good at opening safes –would come in, steal the ledger, create a bit of chaos and drag Susan out.

 

All in all, a good simple plan, that obviously decided to not work out.

 

Cillian had been gone for one hour when Gareth entered his room.

_“Shit.”_ The Kingsman cursed.

 

 _“What?”_ Merlin demanded. Susan felt her heart beat twice as fast.

 

 _“It isn’t a digital safe. It has a dial lock. Those old school ones which are almost impossible to open!”_ Gareth all but screamed.

 

It was a good thing that Merlin had scrambled the microphones of the house.

 

 _“So what? You can’t open it?”_ Merlin demanded.

 

 _“Yes, I can.”_ Gareth said testily. _“But it’ll take longer.”_

 

“Oh no!” Susan said.

 

 _“Guinevere, what’s going on?”_ Merlin asked.

 

“Cillian is back.” She said. “He must have forgotten something.”

 

She saw the car parking in front of the house from the window of her room.

 

 _“Will he come to his room?”_ Gareth asked.

 

“I don’t know.” She took a deep breath as she saw him getting inside the house. “How much time do you need?”

 

_“At least another 15 minutes.”_

 

 _“You don’t have it!”_ Merlin was growling on the other side.

 

“I’ll distract Creagan. Gareth you have 15 minutes, don’t you dare use 16. And you better make a whole lot of noise when you leave.” Susan ordered.

 

 _“Guinevere, what are you…”_ She didn’t hear the end of Merlin’s sentence because she took her earpiece off, as well as dropped her glasses before leaving the room.

 

She found Cillian on his office going through a bunch of papers. “Shouldn’t you be on your way to Leon right now?” She asked leaning against the door.

 

He didn’t even raise his head to look at her. “I forgot some papers. Don’t know where I was with my head.”

 

She pretended to be nervous and hesitant, then took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you.”

 

“I don’t have a lot of time now.” He said still looking at his papers.

 

“This will only take a minute.” She insisted firmly, coming inside the room and closing the door behind herself. “I’ve just been thinking and I reckon it’s better if I start working… Less directly with you.”

 

This finally got a reaction out of him and he looked at her. “Why?” He wanted to know.

 

“You know why.” She accused. “Don’t make me say it.”

 

Cillian sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I thought we were both smarter than that.” He said at last.

 

“So did I.” She tried to be nonchalant and failed a bit. It was not just acting. “I’m particularly disappointed at myself. But, alas, it’ll be better this way.”

 

“For whom?” He challenged.

 

“Mr. Creagan…” She started serious.

 

“Cillian.” He cut.

 

“Oh no. I’m not calling you Cillian right now.” She said serious and a bit flustered. “It feels like this is… This is just too much.”

 

“Susan…” He called serious coming closer.

 

“No! I wasn’t lying when I said I value professionalism. This is so far from what I wanted and expected.”

 

“Susan.” He said firmly, stopping right in front of her.

 

“I’m leaving right now.” She declared turning to leave.

 

She had predicted his reaction. She was counting on it. It was the only thing that would really buy Gareth time, but she had been hoping –deep down – that she would be wrong. Because more than fearing his reaction, Susan had started to fear her own.

 

But Cillian acted exactly as she expected: as a man that would not allow someone to turn their back to him if he was not finished with the conversation. He grabbed her by her arm and turned her back to him, then he advanced on her until her back hit the wall.

 

“Cillian…” She said breathless.

 

He didn’t give her time to think or react, he lowered his head and crashed his lips against hers. Her hands closed on the lapels of his suit, while his hands went to the small of her back, pulling her closer. His lips were demanding against hers and she could feel his heart beating crazily in his chest.

 

Cillian bit Susan’s lower lip, making her gasp. “Still wanna leave?” He asked against her lips, his voice breathless, his accent thick.

 

“God, no.” She murmured before pulling him back to her.

 

Susan opened her mouth to him, letting him taste her better. Her hands pushed his jacket down his shoulders, until he let go of her to let it drop completely to the ground. His arms went back to wrapping around her, but this time he picked her up and carried her to the couch.

 

There had been very few situations in which Susan had let anyone touch her this much. Even James –to whom she’d been engaged –had never touched her this way. Cillian laid her down on the couch and put his body over hers. Sensations started exploding all over her, things she never felt before, much less for a mark.

 

The only things she could feel were Cillian’s lips against hers, his hands on her skin, the weight of his body on hers. She could feel his beard against her neck, –which was entirely too pleasant to her senses - his fingers finding her skin, his breath mingling with hers.

 

Susan wasn’t stupid. She knew how all of this worked, even if she had never experienced it herself. She was from a different time. But knowledge hadn’t prepared her for the surge of heat, for the way her heart beat in her chest.

 

His fingers were undoing the buttons on her shirt. He wasn’t a fumbling hurried teenager, he was a man that was taking his time with her: kissing her lips, her neck, her collarbone and every bit of skin that showed once he opened the buttons. She was wearing a camisole under the shirt, but she didn’t think it would be that great of a barrier for too long.

 

When the last button popped open his hands travelled down her back until her hip, which he used to pull her closer. Her legs went around his hips automatically and Susan was happy to be wearing pants.

 

She undid the knot in his tie and threw it away. It then came her turn to undo his buttons, a task in which she relished as every button opened gave her more access to the planes of his chest. His skin was burning hot, almost feverish.

 

Susan wasn’t sure how Cillian lost his shirt or when she lost hers and the camisole, but things became a blur of hands and lips on skin and she knew she was losing control, but it was very hard to really care.

 

But she didn’t want this. Not really. It wasn’t right, not like this… Not with him.

 

She felt the strap of her bra sliding down her shoulder and his lips in the curve of her breast when the explosion shook the house.

 

Cillian was up in a second and she sat feeling confused.

 

“What was that?” She asked.

 

Cillian was pulling his shirt, his face very serious. “Dress, Susan.” He ordered.

 

She got up and put her camisole and Cillian grabbed her by her arm. He put his jacket in her hands. “Come with me.”

 

He pulled her along him until he found Belasco. “Sir, a man invaded the house.”

 

“Take Susan somewhere safe.” He ordered Belasco. “I’ll meet you later.”

 

“Cillian…” Susan started, but he cut her.

 

“Everything is fine. I’ll meet you later.” He promised, then he pulled her to him and kissed her hard, almost desperate. “Now go.”

 

Belasco grabbed her arm and took her with him, barking orders to his men all the way, than pushed her inside the car. Susan turned to see the second floor of the house burning as the car sped away.

 

God!

 

“It’s okay, princess.” Belasco said, taking her silence as fear. “The boss is a hard man to kill. He says it’s fine, so it is. He will come back for you.”

 

Susan ran her hand through her hair. What a mess! What had she been thinking? Oh God!

 

“What the…” The car came to an abrupt stop, killing Belasco’s curse.

 

It was Gareth. He was in the middle of the road and had shot at the car. Belasco got out of it, pulling his gun.

 

“Stay here.” He ordered Susan.

 

But Gareth was already on him, punching him. It was a hard fight, but the Kingsman ended killing the cruel man.

 

“Susan!” Gareth called opening her door. She grabbed a knife from his jacket and cut her hand, smearing blood on the seat.

 

“It’s okay.” He said. “I detonated a bomb in Cillian’s room and one in yours. All the evidence is gone.”

 

Her hand automatically went to her necklace, the one Cillian gave her.

 

“It’s over.” Gareth said.

 

Yes, it was over.

 

XxX

 

Gareth was a bit worried about Susan. She was silent the whole ride home.

 

He had a car waiting for them to leave and the Kingsman had arranged for a small plane to take them home.

 

She answered him when he asked if she was okay, but nothing beyond that. She kept to her corner, using some male jacket over her clothes and playing with the necklace on her neck. Her lipstick was smeared, so it was a bit obvious what she had been doing to keep Creagan “distracted”.

 

Gareth had the impression that Merlin also knew, because he had been deadly quiet, and that was never a good sign.

 

When he told her they were about to land she started moving a bit mechanically, putting herself together, cleaning her lipstick. She took the jacket off and picked one of the ones that were lying around the plane, the ones some technicians used sometimes and had a Kingsman logo.

 

When they climbed out of the plane Harry was waiting for them.

 

“Susan.” He opened his arms and she went straight into them. “We missed you. Are you okay?”

 

“Yes, of course. Happy to be back.” She smiled, but Harry didn’t look very convinced. The same way Gareth wasn’t.

 

“Why don’t you go talk to Merlin and I’ll meet you there in a minute for debriefing?” Harry said gently, pushing a curl behind her ear. “I’ll talk to Gareth and see you there.”

 

“Sure.” She smiled once again and turned to Gareth. “Thanks for the rescue.”

 

“Always my pleasure, darling.” Gareth winked at her, but his expression turned somber when she left.

 

“What happened?” Harry asked without wasting time.

 

“I’m not sure.” Gareth said a bit frustrated. “It went without a hitch. She did her part exceedingly well. The safe, the papers, it was all as she thought it might.” He sighed. “I don’t think the problem was that.”

 

“We saw her with… Him.” Harry said after a pause. “Merlin had the control of the cameras of the house and there was one in the office.”

 

“Things got heated?” Gareth said.

 

“More than a bit.”

 

XxX

 

Merlin was not a boy. He had passed the age of being stupid a long time ago. He was way past the age of letting emotions rule him, especially in the kind of job he chose to do. Sometimes things needed to be done and he had never had a problem with that.

 

He was an adult –he was 52, for chrissake! He had killed his fair share of people, completed a shit load of missions, saw friends die, friends lie, friends betray them. He should be used to the unexpected.

 

But maybe, even in his wildest dreams, he had never expected to be watching Susan kiss another man.

 

He had been able to see very well what happened in that room: all the ways that Creagan touched her, kissed her, the way he almost…

 

In a way he knew why she did it and why it was the best solution. If it was any other person he wouldn’t mind it, he had seen the others in similar situations enough times to not be bothered by it anymore. But none of them were Susan and he didn’t want them the way…

 

He huffed a breath, frustrated at himself and annoyed with her. She was doing her job and he needed to remember that.

 

And he tried. He honestly did.

 

Merlin had missed her a lot. He missed talking to her, hearing her voice, seeing her eyes. He had been too distant from her since that charged moment in her house and he wanted to be closer again. Mostly he wanted to be next to her, because it was as much as he was going to get. She was over 20 years younger than him.

 

Not that the age difference seemed to bother Creagan all that much, he thought a bit bitterly.

 

He heard steps –the sound of heels clicking –and turned to see Susan. She had a tired look on her face and seemed too small right now.

 

He wanted to comfort her and say it was okay. Then he saw the necklace she was wearing. The one Creagan gave her and she had been using ever since.

 

“Hi, Merlin.” She said tentatively.

 

“Guinevere.” His reply was a bit dry and it made her pause.

 

“Harry asked me to wait for him here with you.” She said unsure. “How are things?”

 

“Good.”

 

She took a deep breath, but she had a frown on her face. “Is something wrong?” She asked.

 

“Why don’t you tell me that?” He said before he could stop himself.

 

“Everything is fine. Mission is over.”

 

“And how that makes you feel?” He asked, now blocking all his emotions behind a cold exterior.

 

“Happy to be back.” She said indignant. “What do you think?”

 

“I don’t know. For a bit back there you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

 

Susan looked positively shocked. “Excuse me?”

 

“You were completely reckless.” He said firmly. “I would expect something like that from Galahad, but from you…”

 

“Reckless?” She repeated furious. “How was I reckless?”

 

“You got too close.” He accused.

 

“This is ridiculous and you know it!” Susan replied, her face becoming blushed in her outrage. “I kept focused on my mission and didn’t deviate from it for a second!”

 

“When was the last time you jumped a target?” He demanded.

 

For a minute she seemed shocked that he knew it, then her eyes went to the screen behind him. It wasn’t showing anything at the moment, but she understood. Susan took another deep breath and calmed herself. “I never needed to!”

 

“Perhaps you didn’t want to.” It came out before he could stop himself.

 

She gave a humorless laugh. “So this is your problem.”

 

“My problem is you taking unnecessary risks.”

 

“It was a calculated risk.” She said serious now, showing she was not only professional, but mature. “Eggsy and Roxy have actually slept with more than one target for missions and I’ve never seen you act like this with them.”

 

“It’s because with them it’s…” He cut himself before he could say anything else, but it was too late.

 

“What?” Susan demanded, now irritated again. “Different? Why don’t you just go ahead and admit that it’s different? That it’s not the same because it’s me.”

 

Merlin huffed frustrated. “Why would I even do that? It doesn’t make a difference. Nothing is ever gonna come off of it.”

 

He realized a bit too late how the words sounded, how careless he was with what he said. But words can’t be recovered once they are said.

 

Susan pressed her lips together and straightened her back. She shook her head. “If that’s how you really feel, I don’t see what’s wrong here.” She said after a minute. “And this should matter even less.” She turned to leave but collided with Harry that was coming in.

 

“Is there something wrong here?” He asked, looking from one to the other.

 

“No.” Susan said immediately. “But I am really tired, Harry. Would you mind if I let the debriefing for tomorrow?”

 

Everybody knew that debriefs had to be done in the exact moment you arrived, it was a sacred rule of the Kingsman. Harry threw a look at Merlin, then back at Susan. “Of course, darling. I want to see you very early tomorrow.”

 

“You will.” She promised.

 

Harry watched her leave –again –then closed the door and turned to Merlin. “What happened here?”

 

There were many answers for that, most of all Merlin wanted to say he was an idiot and that he had fucked up. He should had stayed quiet, maybe said he missed her. He probably should have done many things. Now it was too late.

 

“Nothing.” Was the answer he gave to Harry’s question.

 

Harry gave Merlin a long considering look, like he was figuring out if he should say something. Then he got this “fuck this” look about him and made his business face. Merlin almost grimaced.

 

“You’re one of the people I trust the most, Merlin.” He began serious. “We’ve known each other for years and I know you’ve got my back. You’re one of the best here, because you always keep your head straight. So if there’s any reason you think you can’t do this anymore, that you can’t do your work where Susan is concerned, you need to let me know.”

 

Merlin could not believe what he heard. “There’s absolutely nothing between us.”

 

“That’s not what I asked.” Harry indicated. “I want you to tell me if you can work with Susan independent of what happens _or not_ between the two of you. Because that…”He pointed at the door from where Susan left the room. “Is not normal or professional.”

 

Merlin opened his mouth but no answer came, because Harry was right. He had been stupid.

 

“I don’t want to know what happened.” Harry declared. “You two fix it, like adults.”

 

Now that might be the hardest part.

 

XxX

 

Susan went downstairs to the sublevels where she could get the capsule express back to London. It would be way faster than a car.

 

She didn’t expect to see Roxy there, much less to realize that the other girl was there waiting for her.

 

“Harry thought you might like some company.” She offered as an explanation.

 

Susan had never been happier to see someone and she hugged the other woman. “I missed you so much.”

 

“Missed you too. Eggsy is a terrible shopping and theatre companion.” Roxy joked lightly. “Come, I’ll walk you home.”

 

They both got inside the capsule and the way back was spent in light conversation, with Roxy updating her on the latest happenings on the agency –the top one being that Bors and Caradoc had decided to adopt a child.

 

“Eggsy and I went grocery shopping for you.” Roxy said to Susan as they approached her house. “We got the basics so you can rest before facing the supermarket again.”

 

“Thank you.” Susan said honestly. “Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

They shared smiles and Susan opened the door. Reep came running down the stairs and jumped on her, licking her face. Porthos was the first cat to reach her, twirling around her ankles. Aramis was gentler, coming to rub his face against his owner, while Athos kept his dignity by pretending to not acknowledge the fact that she was there. Roxy informed that they took turns walking Reep, but that Merlin took care of him –and the cats -most of the time.

 

Susan said nothing to that, just walked to the kitchen with everybody trailing after her. She boiled the water in silence. Roxy observed without saying a thing while Susan picked the cups, the pot, chose the tea flavor. She actually waited until Susan poured for both of them before asking “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really.” Susan sighed staring at her cup. “But I need to. I feel I’ll blow if I don’t.”

 

Roxy waited a bit, but Susan did not say anything else. “You weren’t compromised.” It was not a question.

 

“Wasn’t I?” Susan said. “Maybe Merlin was right and deep down I wanted an excuse to kiss Cillian.”

 

Roxy decided not to comment on the fact that she was calling him Cillian. “Is this about Creagan or about Merlin?” She asked instead, her voice free of judgment.

 

“I don’t know.” Susan sighed again. “Maybe it’s a bit about both of them, but mostly it’s about me.” She sipped her tea and seemed to take the time to collect her thoughts. “I’ve never seen myself as a particularly needy person. I thought I could handle being alone, but maybe I can’t.”

 

“Why do you say that?” Roxy asked confused.

 

“Well, I stay out of contact for a couple of months and what do I do? Get sweet on an arms dealer!” She said frustrated.

 

“I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself, Susan.” Roxy said honestly. “Maybe you did get a bit sweet on him and maybe being alone had something to do with it, but what matters is the result. You didn’t betray us and you didn’t start to think that he might be a good man in need of saving.” She covered Susan’s hand with hers. “You never forgot what kind of man he really was. Or who you really are. You focused on your mission.”

 

“I wanted him to kiss me, Roxy.” She admitted ashamed of herself.

 

“So what?” Roxy demanded. “He was a good looking man and way too charming. Unfortunately bad guys aren’t always ugly with bad breath. Creagan was charming as fuck. Eggsy would watch the tapes and take notes! And you’re not the only that had a bit too much fun on a job. Remember that ‘actress’ from Buenos Aires that I had to throw myself at? That woman could kiss like nobody’s business. And I’m not talking about my mouth.” She smirked at Susan.

 

“Way too much information!” Susan said pretending to cover her ears.

 

Both woman traded smiles. Then Roxy’s face became gentle. “You have nothing to feel ashamed of, Susan.” She said honestly. “Maybe you got a bit involved, but that’s hardly a crime.”

 

“Merlin doesn’t seem to think so.” She grumbled bitterly.

 

Roxy winced in sympathy. “What did he say?”

 

“That I was reckless and jumped him just because I wanted to.”

 

Roxy’s eyes became round with shock. “He said what?”

 

“And when I pressed him to say that he was only being a prick because it was me, he said it didn’t matter, because it meant nothing.” She finished angry.

 

“It means nothing?” Roxy repeated in outrage. “So all this fucking dancing around and all that wasted time, it meant shit to him?” Roxy was getting way to angry on Susan’s behalf.

 

“Hm… Roxy?” Susan called carefully.

 

“What a fucking arsehole!” Roxy all but screeched. “How dare he?”

 

“It’s okay.” Susan said tiredly. “If it doesn’t matter to him, it should hardly matter to me.”

 

“But it does!” Roxy protested. “It matters to you because you like him! And he likes you! And at the slightest problem he acts this way? What’s wrong with him?”

 

“Maybe for him it doesn’t really matter.” Susan said at last. “Maybe he is too consumed in all the reasons he has for thinking it will never work out. So much that he won’t even tell me what they are.” She petted Reep that had his head on her thigh.

 

Roxy was looking at her with concern. “What are you going to do now?”

 

“What I always do. Carry on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I had a whole lot of trouble with Merlin. He's an asshole and he deserves any punishment that Susan wishes to deliver on his stupid head. Rest assured that he won't be easily forgiven. He doesn't deserve that.
> 
> And now Cillian is out... God, that man almost killed me. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING AWESOME? I blame Richard Armitage. But Cillian was very important, so he can still kind of love him. (As my dear friend Bonnie Tyler would say "Loving you is a dirty job, but someboy's gotta do it").
> 
> Guys, I have absolutely no idea if I used the "whom" properly there... I checked the internet, I thought a whole lot about it... So, let me know if I used it wrong or not.
> 
> And about Merlin... I used Mark Strong's real age for him, so that's why he's 52.
> 
> Next chapter we have a brand new character and I love her! So I hope you'll love her as well.
> 
> Let me know how this chapter made you feel deep inside!
> 
> xoxo


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I guess Creagan brought some conflicting feelings, hm? hahaha
> 
> That was the idea from the beginning, I'll admit. I loved him so much that I started writing a Narnia fanfiction with a guy that's basically him, but way more decent as a human being. Richard Armitage didn't help at all with this guy... hahaha
> 
> We have a brand new character being introduced today! Hope you love her as much as I do.
> 
> Also... Not beta-read, be gentle with my grammar... hahaha

“Hello?”

 

 _“Susan, you have to come to the shop now.”_ Harry’s voice said without delay. _“Gawain is dead.”_

 

Susan stood in shock for a second. Gawain was dead? He was one of the older agents, even older than Harry and Merlin. He was rude and didn’t “mix” with anyone, but he was a father, he had a family and his daughter was pregnant.

 

Now he was dead.

 

Susan left for the shop almost in a state of shock. When she arrived Harry was already sitting at the head of the table and Roxy, Eggsy and Bors were already there was well. She sat almost in a shock.

 

“Put your glasses.” Harry commanded softly.

 

They all took a deep breath and did it. Roxy was very tense and Eggsy had a frown. Once they put their glasses they could see all the other Kingsman at the table, with only one place vacant.

 

“I wish we could have gone longer without opening this decanter again.” Harry said, eyes on the small glass in his hand, filled with the amber liquid. “To a good man and a good Kingsman. To Gawain.”

 

“To Gawain.” They all saluted together and drank the brandy.

 

“We will start the selection process for Gawain’s replacement the day after tomorrow.” Harry continued in a very somber tone. “Whoever wants to present a candidate can do it no later than 9 pm GMT. Training will be conducted at the UK HQ, as per usual.”

 

They all agreed and took their glasses off, letting only the five of them at the table.

 

“Was he on a mission?” Roxy asked after a long silence.

 

“He was. Dirty bomb in Vienna.” Harry sighed tiredly. “He defused it, but he was shot and bled out.”

 

“I won’t be recommending anyone.” Eggy said suddenly. “Can’t think of anyone.”

 

“It’s fine, Eggsy.” Harry assured him.

 

They had nothing to tell each other in that moment, so Eggsy left and Roxy followed him. Bors got up to leave and Susan followed him.

 

“Bors.” She called.

 

“Yes, Susan?” He asked gently.

 

“You have a contact in the military, don’t you?” She asked him.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would you mind terribly lending him to me?” She asked carefully.

 

“No, not at all.” He grabbed his mobile and sent her the contact information. “Looking for a candidate?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good luck.”

 

XxX

 

Bors contact was Colonel Turner, who was a smartass if Susan had ever seen one. He had chatted with her by phone as if they were friends already and promised to finder a perfect candidate.

 

He called her less than twelve hours later to tell her he had struck gold.

 

He asked to meet her in person and chose a Starbucks close to Piccadilly Circus. As previously said, he was a smartass.

 

“So, what have you found?” She asked as soon as she took a seat.

 

“Well, hello to you too, darling.” He said sarcastically. “Why don’t you order something?”

 

“I refuse to drink whatever they sell here.” She said shrugging.

 

He rolled his eyes and waved a folder in front of her. “I found two perfect candidates for you.” He said at least. “But I have a feeling you’ll want the second one.”

 

She arched a brow. “Why’s that?”

 

“You look like that kind of lady.” He answered without explaining what kind of lady he meant. “So, door number one has a girl from Oxford, went to Army, brilliant family, blah blah blah.”

 

He was quite an entertaining person. “And the second one?” She asked.

 

“Your future protégé?” He asked cheekily, then threw the folder open in front of her. “Meet Alicia Beckett.”

 

“What is so special about her?” Susan asked with cool interest.

 

“Mother’s from Barbados, dad was a star in the British Army. Met her during some vacations and brought her back already married and pregnant. It drove his good family up the wall and they disowned him. They were together when he died of a heart attack. Sudden and quick. There wasn’t even time for the paramedics to show. After that the family left fell a bit on hard times. Little Alicia decided to enter the Army to honor daddy.”

 

“So far, I see nothing interesting.” Susan indicated. “I can sympathize over losing a parent, but that’s it.”

 

“It gets better now.” He promised. “She goes into the military, -starts doing brilliantly, by the way- and then the problems start. She goes to her superiors with complaints about sexual harassment. The man dismisses her. She insists on the accusation, tries to talk to someone else. The problem persists.”

 

Now Susan was more interested. “What happened?”

 

“Let’s say she decided to take matters in her own hands.” He smirked. “And that five boys had to spent some quality time on the hospital.”

 

Susan was impressed. “What happened to her?”

 

“Was kicked out, punished for her behavior. Funny, right? They were quick to dismiss her complaints without investigating, but fast as fuck to solve that incident.”

 

“It doesn’t shock me at all. Quite the contrary.” Susan commented, more than a bit disgusted.

 

“So?” Turner had a small smile on his lips.

 

“Where does she live now?”

 

XxX

 

Alicia’s family lived in a rough neighborhood. After the father died they had hard times and had to move. The mother and the eldest son worked a lot to keep the family together. Alicia wasn’t a problem, but she could be. She had gotten in some trouble before and Susan thought that it was stupid luck that she hadn’t been actually arrested yet.

 

In a way, Alicia was very similar to Eggsy.

 

Susan had read her files, had talked to some people that knew her from her school days and from the Army. She was a smart girl and she had a big heart. One of her teacher, a very gentle old lady, said that Alicia hated injustice and would always stand up for those in need. Susan’s only concern was that so much idealism could take a bad turn eventually.

 

The world was not a fair place.

 

Today was the day to present the candidates and Susan wanted hers to be Alicia. She would give the girl this one chance. It was only fair.

 

As she walked down the streets of the neighborhood many people stared at her. She had proposedly dressed up, she looked very chic on her smart suit and high heels. It was quite obvious she didn’t belong there.

 

Some guys cat called her, but Susan ignored them all. She had found Alicia.

 

She was hanging with some guys and a couple of girls and someone was rolling a joint. Susan decided to call her before she started smoking, because then God knows if she could have a decent conversation with Alicia.

 

“Alicia Beckett.” She called coming closer.

 

Alicia turned to her and raised the sunglasses that covered her amazing hazel green eyes. She checked Susan out with obvious distrust. Susan kept her sunglasses firmly in place, but she was also checking Alicia out. She was wearing very low ridder pants –they actually looked just about to drop –and a top that didn’t cover much of her belly or her boobs.

 

“Who’re you?” Alicia demanded.

 

“Susan Pevensie.” The agent said without wasting time.

 

“Maybe she wants a hit, hm?” One of the boys said, waving the joint in front of Susan.

 

Susan waved her hand to disperse the sickening sweet smell. “I would like to have a word with you.” She said ignoring the boy and looking at Alicia. “I have an offer.” She took off her sunglasses and let her eyes show she meant business.

 

One of the girls snickered. “Must have gotten the wrong girl, lady.” Alicia said dismissively. “Walk away. This is no place for someone like you.”

 

“Please, I just had a long day.” Susan rolled her eyes. “So if you are the girl that excelled at school, tried to join the army and felt a little bit of the taste of this ridiculously patriarchal society and gave up, you’re the one I’m looking for.”

 

Alicia turned on her so fast it would have shocked Susan, if she hadn’t been expecting it. “If that’s what you think, you’re just a dumb bitch.” She said through clenched teeth. “You think you can come here, with your pretty blue eyes, perfect hair and expensive clothes and tell me something about giving up?”  


The other boys had already closed around her protectively. Susan pretended to check her watch.

 

“Wow. That was quite the inspired answer.” Susan said mockingly. “I want to give you the chance to shove it up their throats, to thrive where they tried to stop you. But pay attention, Miss Beckett, this is a onetime offer and I won’t beg for your attention. Now, can I have a minute of your time?”

 

Alicia –and her friends –was looking at Susan in shock and mistrust -a bit more than before. The agent turned her back and started walking away. She hadn’t taken ten steps before she heard someone running to catch up.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” Alicia asked confused. “And how do you know about me?”

 

“I paid an officer in the military to find you for me.” Susan said offhandedly. “Is there somewhere we can talk in private?”

 

Alicia seemed to think a bit. “You want to put me back in the Army?”

 

“I want to offer something better than the Army.” Susan replied honestly.

 

“Come with me.” Alicia said, her hand touching Susan briefly on her shoulder.

 

Susan walked with the girl until they came upon what looked like a small restaurant. It was still early for lunch, but there was an old man sitting in one of the tables, reading a newspaper and a woman on her late forties cleaning the counter. “Oh, hello, Alicia.” She smiled at the girl. “Who’s your friend?”

 

“This is Susan.” Alicia said quickly. “She wants to offer me a job, do you mind if we talk inside?”

 

The woman’s eyes twinkled in pride. “No, no! Of course, go ahead!”

 

“Thanks, Nani.” Alicia smiled kindly at the woman and made a gesture for Susan to follow her.

 

Alicia took Susan to a small room when there was a table with eight chairs, probably used for more intimate meals.

 

Susan took a seat on a chair where she could keep an eye on the door and the window, then turned her eyes to analyze Alicia Beckett. The picture she had was the one on Alicia’s military register. It showed exactly the same hazel eyes and full lips, but it failed to show the gorgeous mass of curls that was her hair –even if it was colored in that atrocious shade of red – or the ring in her nose. Her skin was a beautiful shade of dark caramel that made Susan think she was meant to be living in somewhere sunny.

 

“So, miss Pevensie…” Alicia said with no little sarcasm. “I’m listening.”

 

“I want to offer you the chance to get the most dangerous job in the world, if you survive the interview.” Susan said calmly. “Tell me, would you like to be a Kingsman agent?”

 

“A what?” Alicia asked shocked. “Are you asking me to become some kind of super secret agent?”

 

“Something like that.” Susan agreed.

 

“You’re shitting me.” Alicia said flatly.

 

“I shit you not.” Susan replied primly. “And I know this is going to sound very hard to believe, but I’m an agent as well.”

 

“You don’t look like any agent I’ve ever seen.” The girl looked her up and down. “I’d believe if you told me you’re a call girl, though.”

 

“Sometimes I have to be.” Susan didn’t rise to the bait. “I have to be many things and most the time I’m a liar. You do this nobody can know what you do, not even your family. You will leave a life of lies from this point on.”

 

“If I survive the interview and get the job.” Alicia reminded her.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Wow, that sounds tempting.” Alicia rolled her eyes and laughed sarcastically.

 

“I thought you weren’t a quitter.” Susan arched a brow.

 

“You just told me I might die!” Alicia protested.

 

“What do you think you were going to be doing in the Army?” Susan pointed out.

 

“This is a terrible idea.”

 

“Do you have a better plan for the rest of your life?” Susan asked calmly. “Because I’d love to hear it.”

 

Alicia ran her hand through her hair. “So… Job interview?”

 

“And training.” Susan completed. “And you have to get that thing off your nose. It’s a hazard.”

 

Alicia huffed. “Anything else?” She asked sarcastically.

 

“Give all those preppy boys hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have pictures of Alicia on my Pinterest board! Go check her out, she is awesome.
> 
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> xoxo


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEAR LORD, I AM SO SORRY!!!
> 
> It was never my intention to disappear this way. I swear I haven't abandoned this fanfiction. My computer broke and it took me a while to manage to fix it.
> 
> Thank you for all the patience and the support. I hope you love Alicia as much as I do!

Alicia was not sure she should be doing this –or trusting this woman, for that matter. Susan seemed okay enough –she looked so graceful and dignified it was ridiculous –but she also was a bit of a cold bitch.

 

Alicia was still trying to figure out how much was an act and how much was not.

 

The fact was that Susan had charmed the hell out of her mother. She came into their house as a teacher from some fancy school in Germany! She told Alicia’s mom that they had a scholarship waiting for Alicia but she had to go now. It would be a while before she could come and visit, but she would keep in touch. They would take great care of her.

 

Tina –the mom – had all but melted for Susan’s fake accent. She asked for a lot of assurances, but she didn’t protest all that much. Tina was sad that it was so sudden and they had no time for a farewell party, but she helped Alicia pack and hugged her tight.

 

“Your mother is a very sweet woman.” Susan said as they rode the cab to wherever they were going. “She’s also strong. She’ll be okay.”

 

“I know.” Alicia said quickly without looking at her. “I don’t like lying to her.”

 

“Oh. So when you broke into places and stole stuff you told her?” Susan arched a brow.

 

Alicia chose not to answer.

 

They arrived at some tailor and Susan went in, so Alicia followed her.

 

“Miss Pevensie.” The man behind the counter said politely.

 

“Teddy.” She replied with a nod.

 

She went into a fitting room and Alicia kept following, because it wasn’t as if she had a choice.

 

“Ready?” Susan asked when the door closed behind them.

 

“I’m starting to get worried, to be quite honest.” The girl said, hands going to her pockets.

 

“Then why don’t you leave?” Susan offered politely.

 

“Because that’s my chance to do something good.” Alicia said firmly. “I wanna make a difference, I wanna make my dad proud. I wanna prove my value.”

 

Susan smiled at her. “Then welcome to my world.” She turned to the mirror and put her hand in it. Suddenly the floor seemed to be moving and they were going down.

 

And that was very positive, because Alicia was starting to worry that this was a very elaborated prank or that Susan was just crazy.

 

They had a ride in some kind of extremely small and fancy train that took them God knows where. During it Susan explained some rules to Alicia, like she wasn’t supposed to tell the others who had indicated her or how fights wouldn’t be accepted. But when they got there and Alicia stepped out of the car… “Wow.” She breathed out, awed. “That’s amazing.”

 

She walked to the glass that showed the biggest hangar she had ever seen. In it airplanes and cars were parked, while people carried on working.

 

“I’m glad you think so.” Susan said coming to stand right beside her. “We work hard here. I myself dedicated many years of my life to this.”

 

Alicia threw her an assessing look. “You don’t look that old.”

 

Susan’s smile had something mysterious in it. “You’d be surprised. Let’s go.”

 

Susan guided her through hallways until they came across a bald guy that was standing on his own with a clipboard on his hand. When he saw them he straightened his back and cleared his throat. “Guinevere.”

 

His look was hopeful when it came to Susan, but she was looking at Alicia. “Guinevere is my codename.” She explained before finally looking at him. “Merlin.”

 

“You’re just in time.” He said, his face now showing nothing at all.

 

“Are we the last ones?” She wanted to know.

 

“Arthur is late as always.” He replied. “You, miss, go in.” He pointed at the door.

 

“Kick their arses for me, will you?” Susan winked at her, before turning her back.

 

“Thank you, Susan!” Alicia said honestly.

 

The other woman just waved at her. Alicia looked at the Merlin guy and he was watching Susan go. Interesting…

 

XxX

 

Susan went to the place where she knew all the others would be: the room behind the two-way mirror. When she got there Percival had a whole lot of money on his hands.

 

“Susan, dearest. We’re placing bets on who gets the spot.” He said with juvenile excitement. “Are you betting on your girl?”

 

“A hundred pounds on Alicia.” She declared putting the money on his hand.

 

“Atta, girl.” Percival celebrated.

 

“Who are you betting on, Eggsy?” She asked the boy.

 

“Not sure yet.” He answered honestly. “I’m waiting to see Harry’s candidate.”

 

“Considering you were the last one we should expect something in the same line.” Dagonet said dryly.

 

Eggsy flipped him the bird.

 

“I think Susan took care of that quota.” Urien said pointing at Alicia, who was sitting alone in her bed, just looking all the others talking.

 

“Holy fuck, she’s hot.” Eggsy said.

 

“Excuse me?” Susan arched a brow.

 

“Sorry!” Eggsy said immediately, raising his hands in surrender. “Shouldn’t have said it.”

 

“I’m glad you are aware of that.” Susan glared at him. Then she turned to Caradoc. “Who’s the plant?”

 

“Amelia.” He pointed at the girl with bangs.

 

“She is the same one from our recruitment.” Roxy observed.

 

“There aren’t that many technicians willing to be drowned.” Caradoc informed them.

 

Finally the door of the recruits’ dorm opened and a young man entered the room.

 

“That’s got to be Harry’s boy.” Percival informed.

 

“He seems exactly the same as the others.” Eggsy murmured dispassionately. “I’m putting one hundred on Susan’s girl.” He decided.

 

Harry came into the room in a hurry. “Two hundred on my boy.” He said waving money at whoever was grabbing it. “Has Merlin started yet?”

 

Percival took the money out of Harry’s hand. “No. He is about to.”

 

They watched Merlin enter the room and make the kids fall in formation. He then delivered his “most dangerous job interview” speech.

 

“Merlin does a stellar job in this area.” Caradoc said, observing the kids mingling after Merlin left them to it. “He makes it sound scary but interesting at the same time.”

 

“Things tend to sound interesting in his voice.” Susan shrugged.

 

All the eyes turned to her. “What?” She asked confused.

 

“We thought…” Gareth started carefully, “that you guys weren’t on speaking terms.”

 

“We are on speaking terms.” She insisted. “And even if we weren’t it doesn’t change the fact that his voice is kind of intriguing.”

 

The door opened and Merlin came into the room. Everybody turned to look at him with curious eyes.

 

“What?” He asked alarmed, looking from one to the other.

 

Percival was the first to recover. “Nothing.” He shook his head. “Bets?”

 

“Caradoc’s and Urien’s candidates won’t last the month.” He said ignoring the protests of both men. “I’m betting on Michael, Dagonet’s candidate.”

 

Susan turned her back to them to focus on Alicia. Roxy’s candidate, a girl named Diana, was talking to her. She hoped she had made the right choice. She had a good feeling about Alicia. What she didn’t have a good feeling about was the way that the boys, led by that Michael boy, were looking at her.

 

XxX

 

This was a bit like Alicia expected. There were more people than she thought there would be; some of them were friendly, like the girls Diana and Amelia and a boy named Harrison. She was still holding her judgment on Lucas, the last guy to arrive. He looked like problem. Not the kind of problem that would hurt and make you cry in your pillow, more like the kind of charming arsehole that would convince you to do something stupid, get you arrested, charm his way out and leave you behind.

 

And, of course, there was the Pack. Alicia had been expecting them. Susan had warned her against the preppy boys and now she knew who they were. The one named Michael was obviously the alpha of this bunch and they would follow his lead. When she looked at him and saw him smirking at her she knew that it would be like in the Army all over again. She just hoped that in this place he wouldn’t go without punishment.

 

XxX

 

“Ok, calm down! Time to make your bets!” Percival said waving his notebook around.

 

They were all in Merlin’s office, waiting for the infamous first test: the flooded room.

 

“Michael solves the problem and the plant survives.” Dagonet proclaimed about his candidate.

 

“Diana solves it, but the plant dies.” Roxy offered.

 

“The candidates solve it together, but the plant dies.” Bors predicted.

 

“Lucas fucks up and the plant die.” Eggsy decided.

 

“Alicia takes control of the situation and the plant survives.” Susan called.

 

“These are bold words.” Dagonet arched a brow.

 

“Yes. And 400 pounds make them even bolder.” She slapped the money on the table.

 

All the other agents were looking at Susan like she was crazy.

 

“I got lost somewhere around Bors…” Percival admitted looking at the notebook in his hands.

 

Urien rolled his eyes and took the notebook, writing down the other bets. They saw by the screen Merlin get behind the two way mirror and the last candidate lie down and turn off the light.

 

“Shut up all of you!” Eggsy called. “Show’s about to start.”

 

XxX

 

Alicia did not like the feeling she was getting from this place. From the look and speech of that Merlin guy she was expecting something sketchy to go down. Susan had warned her too much for it to be this easy.

 

Alicia was naturally wary, she was fast to mistrust people and she just knew she wouldn’t be able to rest until something happened and proved her right.

 

Fortunately she did not have to wait long.

 

They had lain down to sleep for the night and that guy named Henry had just turned off the last light. The silence was absolute and Alicia was counting her heartbeats trying to sleep, when she felt the water.

 

They all seemed to wake up at the exact same time, lights were turned on and they saw in panic water coming from God knows where and rising quickly.

 

“Stay calm!” Michael shouted looking around. “Shower…”

 

“Forget the shower heads.” Alicia cut him, water coming to her chest. “That is a fucking two way mirror, is a way out.” She pointed at the mirror. “Jackson, Lucas, break it.” They were all looking at her in shock. “Do you want to fucking die? Break the fucking mirror. NOW!” The last part was swallowed by the water now covering their heads.

 

Jackson and Lucas swan to the mirror with the others following closely behind. Alicia was about to go was well when she saw Peter trying to open the door and Amelia swimming around in panic. She grabbed the girl by her shirt and pulled her to Peter. She pinched him on the back to gain his attention.

 

Jackson and Lucas had taken turns punching the same place in the mirror and eventually the pressure of the water helped to break it. All of the others were closer to it, so the water took them to the next room. Alicia and the other two were dragged until they hit something.

 

The impact knocked the breath out of Alicia, but the water was clearing and she could just stand and breathe now. She pulled Amelia up too, because the girl seemed to be unable to move on her own.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked shaking Amelia.

 

The other young woman was gasping for air, but nodded, so Alicia checked on Peter. He was choking, but seemed okay enough. She turned around to see the other standing in the next room, looking at them with Merlin.

 

“Alicia, congratulations on passing your first test with flying colors.” The man said, obviously surprised. “You not only showed leadership; you thought quickly under pressure and remembered your other teammates. I have to say… It’s been a while since I saw something like this.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” She said still breathless from the experience. And, okay, maybe a bit about the shock of the praise.

 

“You did well.” He turned to the others. “The rest of you, go back to bed.”

 

“But it’s all wet!” Philip complained.

 

Merlin’s face said it quite clearly that he didn’t give a fuck.

 

XxX

 

“Holy fucking flying shit!” Eggsy gaped at the screen. “Fucking fucker fuck!”

 

“Language.” Susan admonished with a frown.

 

“How the fuck did she…” Eggsy turned to Susan, obviously not caring about her frown. “And how did you know?”

 

“I didn’t.” Susan said easily, shrugging gracefully. “I had a feeling.”

 

“A feeling?” Eggsy repeated, still in shock.

 

“Well, things just got very interesting.” Caradoc commented. “I guess there’s a new favorite.”

 

Susan smirked. Oh yes, there was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alicia for President!
> 
> She's awesome, Susan made the best choice ever.
> 
> Hope you liked it, but let me know.
> 
> Xoxo


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP! Talk about a Christmas miracle...
> 
> Guess what??? My computer is back! I've never been so happy in my whole life! Thank you all so much for the kind comments and the support. Most of all, thank you all for your patience.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this piece of goodness.
> 
> Sadly I had no time for re-reading or beta-reading this, so I have no idea of what you may find in there. Let me know if something is too terrible.

The next morning Alicia woke up to find out that Amelia had given up.

 

What the fuck? Just because of a bit of a scare? Susan had told Alicia it would be dangerous! The person that recruited Amelia was supposed to do the same right? Even Peter, who was a whiner, was still there!

 

But, well, whatever. Guess it meant there was one last candidate to beat.

 

The thing was that now Merlin wanted them to choose puppies. Amelia was not a dog-person Actually she was more of an other-people-animals-are-kinda-okay person. She never wanted a dog as a child and she sure as hell didn’t want one now.

 

Apparently she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, so she went and chose a puppy.

 

They had received some kind of schedule and were having breakfast when Merlin appeared in the mess room followed by other three people, one of which was Susan.

 

“Attention.” Merlin said, making them all stand. “These are some of our agents. They will have part in some of the training you will receive. They are Percival, Urien, Bors and Guinevere.”

 

Alicia remembered very well Susan saying something about others not being supposed to know who had recommended her, so she acted as if she didn’t know the difference between Susan and the others. Which was a good decision on her part, because Philip waved at the man named Urien and Merlin wrote something down.

 

Merlin told them to be at easy and she sat back. The agents started walking around, stopping to talk to them from time to time. Eventually Susan came to their table –Alicia was sitting with Diana and Harrison –and sat gracefully but without ceremony. “Hello” She smiled at them.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, madam.” Diana offered her hand for a shake that Susan accepted.

 

“Diana, right?” Susan said, then turned her eyes to the boy. “And Harrison.” They shook hands as well. She asked a bit about their dogs –Diana chose a Labrador and named her Lizzie and Harrison picked the Pug and named her Meg –before turning to Alicia. “And you’re Alicia.”

 

“Yes, madam.” Alicia said formally.

 

Susan’s eyes fell on the puppy sleeping by Alicia’s feet, belly up. “And this is…”

 

“Roger.” She had actually named the bloodhound puppy after her first boyfriend. He looked just as lazy.

 

“Why did you pick him?” Susan asked with polite curiosity.

 

Alicia lowered her arm and grabbed the puppy, pulling him to her lap. “Look at these ears.” She said pulling said ears to cover his eyes.

 

Susan rolled her eyes. She exchanged a few more words with them before going on her way.

 

“She’s intimidating.” Diana whispered in fear and awe.

 

“I think she’s kinda bitchy.” Alicia shrugged.

 

XxX

 

“Hey, if it isn’t our favorite bracken!”

 

Amelia looked around confused before turning to Roxy, hoping that the other woman could decipher Eggsy.

 

“You were the plant.” She indicated.

 

Amelia rolled her eyes. “It’s good to see you again, Eggsy.” She said honestly, shaking hands with him. “I’m very happy to see you’re still around.”

 

“Thanks, Amelia.” He said a bit surprised. “I gotta say the same. Good to know you’re not really dead.”

 

Amelia snickered. “You’re still a smartass, I see.”

 

“At least this time you managed to survive.” Roxy teased lightly.

 

“That girl is good. She reminds me of you.” She told Eggsy. “I hope she is the one that gets the spot.”

 

“Tell you something, Amelia.” Eggsy leaned closer. “So do I.”

 

XxX

 

Alicia didn’t imagine that this thing would involve so many fucking drills! Yes, she had been in the army but it had not ended well, in case someone had forgotten. But there they were doing fucking drills at four in the morning, besides a whole fucking lot classes!

 

She never thought they would her so much theory! The drills were a pain in the arse, but they were mostly the same thing she did on the army: running around carrying guns and heavy backpacks, doing so many pushups that you ended throwing up, crawling under barbed wire. But those classes!

 

Most of them were about politics, economy, history… She truly hated all of those. The ones she actually enjoyed were the psychology classes. They were given by Agent Caradoc and he was quite passionate about the subject.

 

She had never taken psychology on the University –or gone to University, for that matter –but she imagined that it wasn’t the mix of subjects that Caradoc presented. He spoke from the more known approaches, –Freud, Jung and those other guys – to things like “mentalism”, –trickery or the real deal? –hypnoses, -that’s got to be a myth –and he would also provide them with training in something called NLP.

 

“Now, NLP can be used for many things. Mostly you’re going to use in targets to get them where you need them; for example, to seduce them. You’ll learn this and apply on Merlin here.” He indicated the man, who might not be giving the class, but was there supervising the whole thing.

 

The Pack boys were making faces –obviously something like that was threatening to their beloved masculinity. Diana raised her hand. “Sir, how can the experience count if Merlin knows what to expect?”

 

“Well, if he knows what’s coming you’ll just have to try harder.”

 

They all turned to the door, where Susan was casually leaning against.

 

“Oh Guinevere.” Caradoc smiled at her. “Guinevere is one of our best agents when it comes to infiltration and seduction.”

 

Alicia could see Michael burning to make a comment, but not even him was that stupid.

 

“Why don’t you give the kids pointers, Guinevere?” Caradoc suggested.

 

Alicia still thought Susan was a bitch most of the time. But right now, there was something about her that was absolutely hot. Actually so hot and sudden that it had to be some kind of role, and that got her wondering if the whole bitchy attitude was a role too.

 

Susan’s blue eyes swept the room leisurely, taking every single one of them. She blinked languidly and they were all transfixed by her somehow. It was like magic.

 

“You can, of course, learn a thousand tricks to seduce someone.” She started saying slowly. “Most of them will even work.” She straightened herself and stepped further into the room. “But when you get down to it seduction isn’t a formula or a science.” She ran her index finger on the surface of Philip’s table.

 

“You see,” her hand touched Henry’s shoulder lightly “when you’re seducing someone it’s all about confidence.” She walked by Diana and touched the earring the girl was wearing gently. “You have to believe you can do it; but above all, it’s about focus.” Her eyes were fixed on Peter when she stopped in front of his table and put her hands on it, leaning a bit in his direction. He gulped audibly.

 

Susan gave him one last smile before approaching Alicia and touching her chin gently. “When you seduce someone it doesn’t really matter what is your type…” Her hand glided by Harrison’s hand on his table. “your sexuality or how disgusting that person truly is for you.”

 

She leaned against Jackson’s table and closed his book. “When seduction is the play, that person is the center of your world.” Her eyes turned to Michael and a smirk appeared on her lips. “And you have to make them believe that you are the thing that they desire the most. That if you are not theirs they will never know what pleasure truly is.” She started walking again, her hand skittered by Michael’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter if they are looking for love, an affair…” She leaned over Lucas, “or a quick fuck.” She whispered directly in is ear.

 

Lucas actually hissed at that and Susan straightened with a warm chuckle. She shared a conspiratorial smile with Caradoc, then her eyes turned to Merlin.

 

“When you seduce someone…” She started again, this time making her way towards Merlin, a very serious look in her eyes. “…they have to be so captivated by you, so devoted to you, that when you’re done with them…” She halted a breath away from him, a bare inch stopping their bodies from actually touching. Merlin was looking down, but his eyes were on her and nothing else. “...they can’t remember living a single day without desiring you.”

 

The whole class seemed to be holding their breath together and, for a minute, time seemed suspended. Then Susan sighed and turned to then. “That’s what seduction really means.” She concluded, back to her normal bitchy demeanor. “Have a good class.”

 

It was like nobody was breathing until she left the room.

 

“Holy shit.” Lucas all but sagged against his chair.

 

“Maybe she should give the class…” Caradoc observed, more to himself.

 

Yes, she was good, but Alicia was looking at Merlin. That kind of look? Susan had seduced the poor sod way before now. The plot thickens!

 

XxX

 

“I am Lancelot and I’ll be training you today.”

 

Roxanne stepped in front of the candidates. After almost two months of training they were starting to get in the shape they wanted them and Henry –Caradoc’s candidate –was gone.

 

Eggsy had been the one taking care of their hand to hand combat so far, but he was on a mission and Merlin had asked her to take over. She knew that Merlin trained them sometimes –mostly to show that they were brats and clean the floor with their faces –but they also needed to learn some stuff.

 

Alicia and Philip were the ones that needed this the most, because they were not very good at it. Especially Alicia. She was too aggressive and always forget to protect her sides and face. She was constantly bruised because of that.

 

“Let’s see what you’ve been up to.” She said, deciding to get down to business. “Michael, step forward.”

 

He did, with a cocky smile. “I promise not to hurt you.” He said.

 

The other candidates traded shocked looks, but Roxy was unfazed. “I can’t promise the same.”

 

“OK, why don’t we…” Michael was interrupted by Roxy’s fist smashing into his face. He fell to the ground holding his nose.

 

“Your opponents won’t be nice and wait for you to be in position.” She informed the others. “Neither will they wait for you to get up.” She kicked Michael in the ribs, way less hard then he deserved. “Now you, go and do 200 pushups for me. And I don’t want to hear your voice until you’re done with it.”

 

Michael went without looking to the sides.

 

“Now the rest of you…” Roxy turned to them, “Find a partner to spar. Alicia you’re with me.”

 

Alicia approached her carefully. “Are you going to hit me?” She asked.

 

“In a minute. First, Galahad told me you need to work on your defense.”

 

“So he keeps telling me.”

 

“So why are you not doing it?” Roxy arched a brow.

 

“I try.” Alicia shrugged. “But I keep forgetting it.”

 

“Let’s make a deal then.” Roxy said with fake politeness. “If I hit you five times because you’re not guarding your sides you’ll sleep without dinner tonight.”

 

Alicia clenched her jaw, but just nodded.

 

“Now I’m going to hit you.” Roxy informed before doing just that.

 

By the time they were done Roxy had hit Alicia a total of eight times, all of them because she was not guarding her ribs and face. She would end up getting seriously hurt if she didn’t learn it soon.

 

“I hope you’re not too hungry.” Roxy said pleasantly by the end. “You need to fix this, Alicia. Tomorrow, after you’re done for the day, you’ll come back here and we’ll try again.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Alicia said getting up. She still seemed tense, but she wasn’t arguing.

 

“You’re all dismissed.” Roxy told the others.

 

They left the gym and Merlin came in.

 

“You do know you’re not supposed to show how much you don’t like the candidates?” He informed, though his expression held no real judgment or disapproval.

 

Yes, she knew it, but Michael was an arsehole. It pained her that he was very likely to be the one to become the next Kingsman, because he was good at everything. He had many chances of being the one.

 

That was why she and Eggsy had been giving Alicia and Harrison an extra push, because they were the best options after Michael.

 

“I know.” She said at last.

 

“That said… Good work.” Merlin patted her on the shoulder before leaving.

 

Merlin was awesome like that.

 

XxX

 

“Did you want to see me, Arthur?” Susan asked after knocking  and being asked to come in.

 

“Yes, Guinevere. Please, come in and close the door.” Harry said with a friendly smile.

 

She stepped into his office and sat down. Normally there would not be this much formality between Harry and her, but with the candidates running around they employed a lot of care, even if it was unnecessary.

 

“I hope you understand that I’m not intruding in your business.” He started saying, face serious. “I’m asking this as your Arthur.”

 

Susan shifted uncomfortably on her chair. She then cleared her throat. “Of course. What is it?”

 

“Are you ready to go back undercover?” He asked at once.

 

Susan hadn’t been undercover, not since Cillian. She had done many missions, most of the ones that involved getting quietly in places or arrive blowing up walls. She had not done any undercover mission, much less honey pot.

 

“Yes.” She said without hesitancy, not lying for a second. “I have been ready for a while, to be honest. I just didn’t want to approach you. This seemed like some kind of unspoken agreement and I didn’t want to be the one to talk about it.”

 

“Guinevere, it’s okay.” Harry assured her. “I’d be the last person to criticize you for that. The Lord knows I have absolutely no ground to stand on in that subject.” He grumbled, mostly to himself.

 

Susan arched a brow. “I’m sure there’s a story behind that.”

 

Harry cleared his throat. “It’s not important.” He said primly. “Good to know we can count on you for this. There’s just one more thing I need to know...” He looked almost like he was sorry now. “How are you and Merlin?”

 

“In what sense?” Susan knew there was a bit too much steel in her voice to pretend she was not affected by the question or Harry’s motives for asking.

 

“In the professional one.” Harry assured her. “I know the others have been teasing both of you for personal reasons, but you’re adults. Supposedly.” His lips quirked a bit with the subtle jab. “I’m not going to ask about it. I just want to know if you can work together.”

 

“We’ve been working together.” Susan pointed out. “He runs point in all the missions.”

 

“He does.” Harry agreed affably. “But he will be with you in this. We’re sending a big team this time. It’s going to be something major. It’s not only you two, of course, but he’s going to be there.”

 

Susan sighed. “Arthur, I have no problem with Merlin.” She said a bit forcefully. “I respect him a lot. He’s very good at his job and I trust him with my life. Is that good enough for you?”

 

“Of course it is, Guinevere.” He said a bit more gently. “I never doubted your capacity for working. Or his, for that matter. I just want things clear.”

 

“They couldn’t be clearer.” She replied, but there was a certain grumpiness there that Harry did not think was directed at him.

 

Merlin could be such a pain in the arse sometimes.

 

“Guinevere…” He sighed, cursing his friend not for the first time. “I know I said I wouldn’t meddle in your personal business…”

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“But…” He carried on ignoring her interruption. “You two should really sit and talk.”

 

Susan ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “Okay.” She said at last, but Harry got the impression that she was just humoring him. “We will. After this mission, maybe after the training. But we will.”

 

Harry was not convinced. At all.

 

XxX

 

In the next night Alicia went back to the gym to meet Lancelot with a bit of trepidation.

 

She recognized she had been a bit insolent, which was plain stupid. Alicia was trying to prove a point, not only to the others, but to herself as well. She did not have the luxury of being anything less than perfect in everything she did here. She was already behind that arsehole Michael, so she was very punctual to meet Lancelot.

 

The problem wasn’t that Alicia had forgotten why she was there. She had been expecting Galahad yesterday, because she liked him! He was a kindred spirit, no amount of poise could hide that accent of his and if he had made it… Perhaps she could as well.

 

But no, instead in comes Lancelot with the same lady-like attitude that Susan had. And maybe Alicia is getting prejudiced –and that something she hates, because it’s something she suffers almost daily –but she could not stand more of that stiff upper lip bullshit.

 

Now, Susan had not proven anything to Alicia so far, only that she could arouse a full room of people in a couple of minutes. While that was an admirable skill –and quite entertaining to watch –it didn’t prove that Susan was actually a good agent. Merlin was badass, Galahad was interesting, but Lancelot also proved something. Alicia didn’t mind being put down to learn a lesson, if it was a good lesson.

 

She had a feeling that Lancelot might be small, but from the day before Alicia also learned that the agent was vicious.

 

“Good, you’re here.” Lancelot said as soon as she entered the gym. “I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow, you do. So that’s what we’re going to do: you’ll only sleep once you successfully blocked a punch. Just so you know, Merlin won’t go easy on you just because you’re tired. Now, get here.”

 

Alicia had a feeling that this would be a very long night…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TALK ABOUT HOT!!!! Susan almost killed Merlin in this one. (He'd deserve it.)
> 
> I will post another one, because this one took sooooooo long to be posted!
> 
> Roger is a bloodhound and I have a picture of him on my "Gentle Lady" Pinterest Board.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised... Another one.
> 
> Now, prepare your hearts, because things are about to get Bond-ian

“This is the worst moment possible for something like this to happen.” Urien declared flatly.

 

“Thank you for stating the obvious, Urien.” Harry snapped a bit impatient.

 

Well, it was and someone might as well put it out there. They had eight recruits in training, they could not spare this many agents, let alone Merlin!

 

“We have no other choice.” Merlin said with finality. “This is a very serious matter.”

 

“Can anyone explain to me how a poker game is a serious matter?” Eggsy asked impatient.

 

Dagonet opened his mouth –and his answer would probably be very impolite –when Roxy cut him. “Do you remember ‘Casino Royale’?” She asked Eggsy.

 

Everybody turned to her confused.

 

“Craig’s first movie as Bond? It was bloody genius!” Eggsy said excited.

 

“Well, that’s the problem.” She almost snapped.

 

Eggsy nodded, suddenly very serious. Harry shook his head, because honestly, he could not believe that was what this meeting had become.

 

“This is the Sapphire Star, one of the biggest casinos in Macau.” Merlin decided to get this thing going or they would be there until tomorrow.

 

They finally put their glasses and turned to look at the picture of a very luxurious casino/hotel.

 

“In 72 hours a poker game with stakes worth millions is going to happen there.” He forged on. “It’s very high profile, invited only with a five million buy-in.”

 

“In Casino Royale it was ten.” Eggsy pointed out.

 

The look Merlin threw him shut him up very quickly.

 

“There will be ten people at that table. One of them is a CIA agent, the other a KGB agent and the other six people already in are drug dealers, terrorists, arms dealers and –my personal favorite –a professional assassin.” The pictures of the eight people appeared on screen.

 

“Any of those men and women win the money, it will finance their activities.” Harry explained. “The CIA is there for the terrorist and we have no idea why the KGB is.”

 

“So, how is this going to work?” Susan asked.

 

“We managed to get Merlin and Urien invited as players, using aliases they already had.” Harry explained. “Merlin is a terrorist and Urien a drug dealer and actually knows one of the others: Marcus Hunter, also a drug dealer.” Harry indicated the American man in the screen.

 

“We will participate in the game, but mostly what we want is to get them all at the same time and the money.” Merlin continued. “It’s fifty million dollars that we can give to the girl scouts for all I care, as long as nobody in that table has it. Guinevere, Lancelot, Galahad and Gareth will come as well, as support.”

 

“Something like that it’s not a one-day deal.” Urien pointed out.

 

“No, they expect at least two nights playing.” Merlin confirmed. “But we have twenty four hours to close this. They start losing they will drop and leave the place. We will close it in one night, bag them and the two agents; and they are the problem.” Merlin said with certainty. “If we know they are agents there is no way these people don’t. The question is why they still let them come in. We grab them, find out what they know then possibly give them back to their governments.”

 

“We will have agents from our division in China helping bag them as they leave.” Harry finished.

 

“If we have agents in Macau why do we have to do this in such a delicate moment?” Susan asked.

 

“Because Merlin and Urien are the ones that have the identities needed for this.” Harry was the one to explain. “And both are very good poker players.”

 

“Besides good mathematicians.” Urien added.

 

“That’s not proved as a fact.” Dagonet snapped.

 

Harry cleared his throat, throwing a look at both men. “Caradoc and Bors will stay behind and distract the recruits.” He turned the couple. “They can’t realize what is going on or that Merlin is not here, so keep them very busy. It might be a good time to torture them a bit.”

 

“Oh, that will be a pleasure.” Caradoc said with a smirk.

 

“Can we lock them in the dark rooms?” Bors asked interested.

 

“Have fun.” Harry made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

 

The couple shared a smile.

 

“That sounds mighty fancy.” Eggsy declared pleased. “Count me in.”

 

XxX

 

 _“This is not what I had in mind.”_ Eggsy whined –not for the first time –in the comms.

 

Susan rolled her eyes and put her earrings on. “Stop complaining, Galahad.” She admonished gently. “Urien, I need your help with the dress.”

 

 _“Now that sounds amazingly interesting.”_ Gareth commented on his end of the comm. _“How is that I’m not the one helping you with that?”_

_“Can we please focus?”_ Merlin snapped at them.

 

Susan rolled her eyes. Merlin was being a pain in the arse with this new mission.

 

Urien came of the bathroom, fixing his cufflinks. Susan gave him her back. “Can you fix the folds in the back for me?” She asked.

 

Urien made a noncommittal noise as he stepped closer to her and delicately fixed the folds in the back of the dress. “Are you ready?” He asked.

 

“Yes.” She let her hair fall over her shoulder. It was longer than it had ever been since she left Narnia, almost reaching the middle of her back, so she had it now on a French braid, because the most interesting thing about this dress was its back and she wanted to show it off.

 

She turned to Urien to find him analyzing her carefully. “You look pretty.” He said at last.

 

Susan knew that, coming from him, it was not meant as a compliment, it was a statement. She could take it as a compliment, though, because it meant that Urien thought she could do her part as she was supposed to do.

 

He was a prick like that.

 

“I heard Georgina Martins is a gorgeous woman that loves attention.” Susan said applying perfume on her neck. “She might call more attention than me.”

 

She was not fishing for compliments, it was a genuine concern. She was going to be Urien’s arm candy and distraction in the room. She was supposed to flirt with everybody so she could put a small device in the other players, she did not want to spend the night trying to wrestle attention from the other woman, a world famous arms dealer.

 

Urien dismissed her worry with easy. “Martins is an old woman that likes to pretend that she is still young and sexy by being loud and obnoxious.” He said without an ounce of pity. “You, on the other hand, are actually a young and sexy woman. There’s no competition.” He said flatly.

 

“Never took you for a charmer, Urien.” Susan teased slightly.

 

“I am pretty sure you know how attractive you are, Guinevere,” was his answer.

 

 _“But just in case you need a reminder…”_ Gareth’s voice came from the comms, _“You are very hot, Guinevere.”_

 

“Thank you, Gareth.” She laughed.

 

 _“Everybody in their positions?”_ Harry, who was coordinating from the HQ, asked.

 

“How are the kids faring without us?” Urien wondered.

 

 _“Oh, Caradoc and Bors are taking good care of them.”_ Was the answer.

 

XxX

 

Alicia looked to the ceiling of the cell she was locked in. Bors –a very scary man –had come in with Merlin –she was not sure how long ago that had been –and told them something different would happen in the next 24 to 48 hours.

 

They were all taken to individual, small concrete cells and locked in there. Each of them received a word and were told they should not say that word, no matter what happened. Whoever did would be sent home.

 

It was very cold in there and she had nothing to warm herself with. Sometimes it would become completely dark and she had received no food and very little water since she was there. There was also periods filled with a lot of noise, followed by complete silence. Her head was pounding and she had started wondering if eventually they would get physical with them.

 

Alicia had the feeling that this was some kind of distraction, which made her think that something might be going down with the agents. She wondered what.

 

Then the door of the cell opened and a man she never saw before entered. Oh yes… They were about to get physical.

 

XxX

 

 _“Our all all-stars team is already in position.”_ Eggsy let Susan know by the comms. _“Urien is waiting for you and Merlin will arrive shortly after.”_

 

Susan took a deep breath. She was going to play a role as soon as she crossed the door. This was exact the same thing she had done to the kids in the classroom, she was going to make the whole audience want her.

 

She went down the stairs and into the room. The VIP lounge, where the game would be played, was in a basement level in the hotel, but it was very opulent. It had its own bar and only selected people could come in.

 

She steeped in and looked around, looking for Urien.

 

She heard Eggsy whistling low through the comm and Gareth barely repressed “hot damn”. She ignored them all, even though she could feel many eyes on her. Urien –that was going by Richard Thompson – was talking to Marcus Hunter and Irfan Kapoor, both drug dealers.

 

They were sitting at a table, so she just came behind Urien and slid her arms around his shoulders and down his chest. “Hello, darling.” She murmured on his ear.

 

Urien turned his head in her direction, his nose brushing against hers gently. “There you are.” He said with a smirk. “I thought you might lose the beginning of the game.”

 

“And not wish you luck, baby?” She said theatrically. “Never.” She nipped his lower lip.

 

Hunter cleared his throat. “Won’t you introduce your friend, Thompson?” He asked, eyes fixed on Susan.

 

“Of course.” Urien turned back to both men. “This is Megan. These are Mr. Hunter and Mr. Kapoor.”

 

“It’s a pleasure, gentlemen.” She offered her hand to both and Hunter shook it, but Kapoor kissed it. “Ricky never introduces me to his friends.” She pouted.

 

“Maybe he just worries one of us will steal you from him.” Kapoor said charmingly.

 

Urien frowned and Susan just giggled, not denying the possibility. Then she excused herself to go to the bar.

 

They were putting a special bit of tech on the other participants. Roxy –that was working as waitress there –had managed to tag Georgina Martins and Samuel Parker, the CIA agent. Eggsy –that was working as bartender and complaining a whole lot about it –tagged Katia Krykova, the KGB agent, while Susan had just tagged Kapoor and Hunter.

 

She was by the bar flirting with Kristofer Ellefesen –a mercenary and a thrill-seeker –when Merlin came in. She knew very little of his alias, just that he was supposedly an Egyptian Sheikh that “supported” terrorism against the big occidental potencies.

 

What she was not ready for was seeing Merlin in full Sheikh regalia.

 

 _“He’s back in the yummy column.”_ Roxy declared under her breath.

 

Not that he had ever left it on Susan’s opinion. She was never one of those silly girls with crushes on pirates, soldiers or even Sheikhs, but… This was seriously unfair. Where did that beard even come from?

 

Merlin traded greetings with Malik Gors –responsible for human trafficking in East Europe – and Patricia Sylver –the professional assassin – before his eyes found Susan at the bar and he came straight at her.

 

 _“Oh man, are you in trouble or what?”_ Eggsy teased.

 

She wanted to tell them all to shut up, because she needed to focus and they were not helping at all! Merlin finally reached them and shook hands with Ellefesen.

 

“Sheikh.” The man said, a bit of mockery on the title. “A pleasure to finally meet you. May I introduce you to Megan? She came with Thompson, so don’t even try to whisk her away to your harem.”

 

Merlin turned his attention completely to Susan. “I wouldn’t ever whisk a woman that doesn’t wish to come on her free will.” Well, gone was the sexy Scot accent, replaced by a sexy Egyptian accent.

 

“I don’t know.” She teased, finally recovering her character and offering her hand. “I wouldn’t mind playing odalisque a bit.”

 

She heard Gareth snickering and Harry chocking on whatever he was drinking. Merlin arched a brow at her, something very interesting stirring in his eyes. He captured her hand and brought it to his lips. “That can be arranged.” He promised dropping a kiss on her knuckles.

 

By the sounds coming from the comms everybody was very surprised by the tone.

 

“How terrible of you!” She slapped him on the shoulder. “I do have a man that I have to go back to. If you two excuse me…” She winked at Ellefesen and walked away. Her knees may have been a bit weak.

 

She was not confirming anything.

 

XxX

 

When they were preparing for this mission Merlin had been very vocal in his complaints against the red dress Susan was supposed to wear. It was not appropriate for missions: too tight, to constrictive, she would not be able to fight in it or even hide a gun under it.

 

He should have protested harder.

 

That dress… Well, Susan was always beautiful, but she pulled classy and sexy like nobody else he had ever seen. The number was backless and blood red, not even the long sleeves and very discreet neckline erased the sensuality of it. Of course, it might have something to do with the slit that became obvious with every step she took.

 

He had heard every single comment the other agents had made on her appearance. And while Merlin considered Susan way more than a pretty face –she was a woman of numerous qualities and he admired her a great deal –he could not deny how beautiful she was.

 

While she seemed to find something interesting in him –and for the life of him, Merlin could not really grasp what it was – he never expected her to find him exactly attractive. Apparently he had been dead wrong there, or she had a serious kink on Sheikhs.

 

The look in her eyes when he came closer…

 

 _“You do know that you have a camera on you and I can see exactly what you are watching, right, Merlin?”_ Harry said suddenly.

 

He heard Eggsy snickering on the comms, but refused to answer to that. He had quite forgotten that, thank you very much.

 

Susan went to Urien, who was sitting and draped herself on his lap, arms going automatically around his neck. Merlin found the situation kind of funny, because he knew that Susan and Urien barely talked to each other in the HQ, since they didn’t get along all that well.

 

But there she was, whispering in his ear, while one of his hands drew lazy circles on the exposed skin of her back, while the other was possessively draped over her knee.

 

Susan was a great actress. It showed on the way she giggled when talking to Kapoor or Gors –both men she would despise on principle – or how she would touch Urien like she just couldn’t wait to get him alone.

 

Most of the players were exactly as they anticipated: Georgina kept begging for attention and making rude remarks about Susan. Parker was keeping his eyes on Ivan Rossini –a terrorist –to the point of being a bit too obvious. The wild card was still Krykova, the KGB agent that did not fit in this place at all. She had no reason to be there.

 

Unless it was personal. Merlin passed a note to Roxy on a napkin to let Harry know and check.

 

A representative of some Swiss Bank came to explain how the money would be kept as to make sure whoever won it would receive it. They all made deposits in a specific account before coming here, now they had to choose passwords in case they won. The bank man brought a briefcase with him, where there was a keypad where they were supposed to put a password in the event they won the money. When it was Merlin’s turn to choose one he brought the briefcase more to the edge of the table, so he could stick a device under it.

 

The little device was supposed to start hacking the account. Harry just had to press enter and the thing would run itself. They would have the money before the game even really began.

 

That still left them with a table with eight unpredictable people. This would be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Susan's dress and Merlin's pictures are also on the board.  
> [Click here](https://br.pinterest.com/isadorabaggio12/visual-guide-to-the-gentle-lady-series/)
> 
> I just want to say that I don't have a sheikh-kink or something like that. I guess I have a Mark Strong-kink and it's showing. The only reason I chose to say that Merlin was dressed like that was because of the picture I saw and how amazingly hot he looked. I hope that this doesn't sound offending, because it was never the intention.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> I wish all of you a magic Christmas. Blessings on you and your family and beloved ones.
> 
> See you all next year!  
> xoxo


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking this long to post! Things have been crazy over here. I sometimes wonder if my boss really loves me or just hates me. It's hard to guess with him... hahahaha
> 
> This chapter is FULL of emotions, so prepare your hearts. Also, there are mentions of torture in this chapter, nothing described or even graphic, but it will be mentioned so I'm leaving the warning.
> 
> It's not beta read, so sorry... Hope you can enjoy it anyway.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments!

The game started with Gareth being the dealer, not for cheating purposes, more because they needed extra eyes around the room.

 

Susan had kissed Urien soundly before leaving the table where the game would be played –not before tagging the last member of the table, Pablo Ruas.

 

They were ready to start. The team from Macau was in position to apprehend the players as they left the room, they all were tagged by the device and Arthur had just let them know that they also had the money.

 

Things should be a walk in the park from now on.

 

XxX

 

Of course it was not. Things that look too easy tend to be the exact opposite.

 

They played for four hours before their first one-hour break. By then Georgina had blew through her money and Ruas had left because he got too drunk. The team outside had confirmed that both of them had been captured without alarm.

 

Things got rough when they came back for the second round. Hunter got drunk and started protesting his losses, so he was guided out of the room. Then Ellefesen lost and he was good humored despite that, laughing like losing 5 million dollars was no big deal. He gave Susan his number before leaving the room.

 

Immediately after that Krykova folded her cards and declared she was giving up. Just like that. She didn’t even wait for the dealer to say anything before grabbing her jacket and leaving.

 

 _“Fuck, she’s after Ellefesen.”_ Harry said, a bit too late. _“He killed her brother. She’s going to kill him.”_

 

Normally they would let this go whatever way it was supposed to, but they needed information out of Ellefesen, so they couldn’t let her kill him yet.

 

 _“Lancelot, you go.”_ Harry ordered and Roxy dropped her tray and got out there, after them.

 

They were all tense, waiting for something to happen, anything, but Roxy had gone radio silent. Then, to make things worse, Gors declared he needed to take a piss.

 

As soon as he stood they all heard the sound of a shot being fired. _“Ellefesen is bleeding out. I’m engaging Krykova.”_ Roxy all but yelled in her comm.

 

The sound of gunshot had made everybody stand up. “Arthur, zap Krykova.” Merlin said in his comm.

 

That was what the device they had was for. It was a tracker, but it also could discharge an electric shock, enough to stun an adult male. The closer to the skin the better and they had managed to put it on Krykova collar, so she was out.

 

Gors had already left the room in a hurry –they were all criminals and gunshots were never good for any of them. Rossini took off too, and Parker got up to follow him and Sylver got up after him. That was why they let the agent come in the middle of this: Sylver was going to take him out.

 

“I’m on it.” Susan declared kicking her shoes off.

 

“I’ll go after Gors.” Eggsy said, jumping from behind the counter.

 

 _“Guinevere, Sylver found the device, she took it off!”_ Harry all but yelled in the comm.

 

Gareth was getting ready to follow her, but Kapoor, the only one still there, had brought his men with him. Harry had used the device against the arms dealer –that was drooling on the floor –but the men were defending him.

 

“Send a team for Guinevere.” Urien ordered dodging a shot aimed at him.

 

They could do that, but she went after three people and a possible clusterfuck. Merlin would not be satisfied with another team he did not know nor trust to aid her. “Lancelot…”

 

 _“I’ve been shot.”_ Roxy said in her comm, the pain in her voice obvious.

 

“Shit!” Gareth cursed, punching a man. “Galahad!”

 

 _“I just got Gors. I’ll give him to the other team and go to Lancelot.”_ He answered immediately.

 

“Guinevere!” Urien called -after head butting another man -and there was no answer.

 

“Arthur, what’s the status on Guinevere?” Merlin lost his patience and shot the man he was engaging.

 

 _“I managed to shock Rossini and Parker, but Guinevere had to engage Sylver and her comm is not working.”_ Came the frantic reply.

 

Merlin had it with the situation. He all but tore through the men still on his way to leave the room. Gareth and Urien could deal with them and if they couldn’t… No, they could do this and Arthur was sending help their way.

 

 _“The first floor, Merlin.”_ Harry urged him.

 

He took the emergency stairs, taking three steps at time. There were people running scared, so he followed the direction where they were coming from, until he heard the sounds of fighting.

 

Susan was really engaging Sylver, in the physical sense. They were beating the shit out of each other. Susan’s hair was a mess and her dress was falling of her shoulders and Sylver’s shirt was thorn, both women bleeding. Merlin watched from afar, because she was handling it and if he jumped him he could distract her.

 

That was until Sylver dove behind a table and came up with a gun. It must have flown during the beginning of their fight and the woman now had it back.

 

Susan ducked behind another table, but she had no real protection, especially because her dress was not bulletproof. Merlin pulled his gun and shot against Sylver to call her attention. She turned to him and he had no place to hide, so he was shot right in the chest, falling with the force of the impact, but he managed to shoot her back, hitting her on the shoulder.

 

“Merlin!” Susan ran to him and Sylver took the chance to leave the scene.

 

“I’m okay.” He said a bit breathless. “You should…”

 

“You were shot!” She yelled at him, kneeling by his side.

 

“I am wearing a Kevlar vest under this.” He told her. He really was, he was just winded because of the impact, the same reason he fell.

 

“It doesn’t matter!” She grabbed him by the shoulders. “You don’t jump in front of a bullet because of me, even if you have a vest!”

 

Her eyes were shining and her face was red because of the action, her hair was a disgrace, her lips were bleeding, one more minute and her dress would fall apart. She was pissed at him for saving her and Merlin had never seen her more beautiful.

 

“Better me than you.” He said honestly.

 

“You are insufferable!” She declared. “You idiot! How can you…”

 

He guessed she could have gone the rest of the night telling him his many sins and scolding him for them, but she gave up on the middle of the next sentence in favor of kissing him.

 

Just like that. After all this time and the awkward moments and lost opportunities, after all the fights, laughter and teasing, after he said the most stupid thing to her, she just went for it, like he was actually dying from a gunshot.

 

She pulled him by his shoulders and put her lips on his –he had lost his fake beard somewhere –and kissed him like she was never going to see him again.

 

He felt frozen at first, because even in his wildest dreams he never expected to really have a chance to do this; to feel the softness of her lips and the taste of her mouth.

 

And Susan didn’t care he was motionless, she poured her heart on the kiss, pressing her lips harder against his, cradling his face between her hands, because she was tired of feeling the Kevlar, not him under her palms.

 

Suddenly his hands were on her, one in her hair, the other on her waist, his fingertips finding the soft skin of her back, his lips opening against hers. Susan exhaled upon the first touch of his tongue against hers and Merlin just knew he never tasted something sweeter on his life. Nothing would ever compare to her, even with the faint taste of the blood on her lips.

 

Those were blissful moments and, exactly because of that, they came to an abrupt end.

 

 _“Merlin? Guinevere? Are you okay?”_ Harry’s voice intruded in the moment and they broke apart, both breathless.

 

“Yes.” Merlin said at last. “But Sylver got away.”

 

 _“Gareth is on his way to you.”_ Harry let them know.

 

Susan got up quickly and started fixing her hair, her back turned to Merlin.

 

“Su…”

 

“Merlin!” She turned to him, shock on her face.

 

They were still on mission! He was not supposed to call her by her real name. He had all but forgotten that.

 

Susan saw some of the men from the Macau team coming their way and went to talk to them. Gareth came right after.

 

“How are you…” He stopped mid-sentence and arched a brow. “You know, Merlin, it is a bold choice, but I don’t really think that red lipstick is for you.” He said with a smirk.

 

There was absolute silence from Merlin and everybody else, because let’s be honest, they all listened to their comms like it was a freaking soap opera.

 

Merlin took his thumb to his lip and came away with red lipstick on it. Gareth smile had become positively devilish.

 

Shit.

 

XxX

 

They all looked like a bunch of misbehaving teens sitting in front of Harry’s table back in the UK HQ; each carrying their own brand of attitude: Eggsy was pouting, Urien seemed indifferent, Gareth was the unrepentant troublemaker, Susan was showing no emotion whatsoever and Merlin was like the responsible student that was afraid of getting in trouble. Roxy was the lucky one, because she was in the hospital wing. If she was not, Merlin liked to think she would be in the same boat as him.

 

“So…” Harry said slowly “What happened?” Gareth opened his mouth. “Mission related.” Harry said icily.

 

The agent closed his mouth and Eggsy cracked a smirk.

 

“Krykova, who was the wild card, was there to kill Ellefesen.” Urien explained. “Lancelot went after her, but she had already engaged and stabbed Ellefesen. Lancelot tried to stop her and she had been hiding one of those guns that don’t get caught in metal detectors. Krykova shot Lancelot on her leg and the noise alerted everybody.”

 

“We still managed to get everybody, but Sylver got away.” Gareth said, serious now. “She was shot in the shoulder after engaging Merlin and Guinevere, but still managed to flee.”

 

“Any losses on our side?” Harry wanted to know.

 

“No one on the Macau team and Lancelot was shot, but will make a full recover.” This time it was Susan who answered. “Ellefesen will survive and all the others were apprehended.”

 

Harry sighed. “Well, I guess that this was a success then. Seriously.” He said when Urien and Merlin opened their mouths. “We had little time to prepare and to execute this. Ask for more than this would have been too much. Nobody died and I’m happy enough.”

 

“Some of us are more than a bit happy.” Gareth stage whispered.

 

Merlin and Susan refused to look at each other.

 

“How was the test?” Susan asked instead.

 

“Very well.” Harry answered promptly. “Philip is out. Sorry, Urien.” Urien cursed under his breath. “Everybody else passed with varying degrees of success, Michael and Alicia being the most prominent ones.”

 

“Your girl is rocking, Sue.” Eggsy commented.

 

“Yes, she is.” Susan was thoughtful. “Can I talk to her today?”

 

“Yes, you can. I was actually going to suggest that all of you took a minute to talk to your candidates.”

 

They talked about the mission for another fifteen minutes, before Harry dismissed them all and asked Merlin to stay.

 

“Philip left his dog behind.” He told Merlin. “He said he wanted nothing to do with it.”

 

Merlin felt his jaw ticking. Some people deserved to be shot. Philip had picked a Labrador that he named Athena and the poor dog adored the ground he walked on.

 

“I’ll take care of this.” Merlin promised.

 

“Have you been keeping an eye on the candidates?” Harry asked.

 

Merlin just arched a brow, because this did not deserve an answer.

 

Harry chuckled. “Sorry that I asked. What do you think of Michael?”

 

“He is good. Too good.” Merlin said honestly. “He’s also trouble. He is a bully.”

 

“We can’t kick him out for it.” Harry indicated.

 

“The same way we couldn’t kick Charlie out the last time.” Merlin agreed. “He’s done nothing too terrible, according to the rules, but he is not a fit, Harry. He passes his tests he will be trouble for everybody here.”

 

“So? What do you suggest?”

 

“We can just hope that Alicia or Harrison will be good enough to take him out.” Merlin said honestly. “We can only kick him out if he does something bad and I truly hope it won’t get to this point.”

 

“But you believe it will.” It was not a question.

 

“Yes, I believe it will.” Merlin answered anyway.

 

XxX

Merlin had finally made an appearance, only to order everybody to go to separate rooms, all over again. Alicia dearly hoped that this was not more of the same as yesterday, because if she had to take another beating or be waterboarded again she would not be happy.

 

She opened the door of the room just to find Susan sitting elegantly in an armchair drinking tea.

“Hello, Alicia.” The woman said pleasantly.

 

Alicia analyzed Susan for a bit. She knew she was not looking all that hot in the moment, but Susan also looked like she got into a fight and took some pretty good punches. How she still managed to look like a socialite with a purple eye and a split lip as beyond Alicia.

 

But that was something else. Yes, Susan looked like a beauty queen that got punched during a sale, however there was this tiny satisfied smile on her lips. “You sure look like you’re in a good mood today.” Alicia told her.

 

“I know you think I’m incapable of emotions.” Susan shrugged. “Most days I wish you were right.”

 

Oh… This was how she wanted to play it now? “So what happened?” Alicia insisted.

 

“Nothing, to be honest.” Susan shook her head. “I’m just being silly, as per usual.” She made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

 

“Something to do with Merlin?” Alicia pressed.

 

“Why do you say that?” Susan seemed legitimately curious now.

 

“There’s something between you two.” Alicia said certain. It was so freaking obvious since the first time she saw both of them in the same place. “I just don’t know what. You’re in a good mood and he disappeared last night. Seems like an obvious guess.” It was her turn to shrug.

 

Susan was watching her with a lot of interest now. Alicia kind of expected her to argue or deny. She did neither. “You’re way more observant than I thought.”

 

It was praise, but it was also obviously the end of the Merlin conversation. Curiously, Susan had not denied it.

 

“Thank you.” Alicia said. “I guess.”

 

“Take a seat.” Susan indicated the chair in front of her. “Would you like tea?”

 

“Yes, please.” Alicia took the seat and watched Susan poor the tea for her and prepare it the way she liked. “It’s a bit scary the fact that you know the way I like my tea.”

 

“This place is full of security cameras, Alicia. I know even how you sleep.”

 

“Do I snore?” Alicia said with more than a bit snarky.

 

“Only when you are too tired.” Susan replied unfazed.

 

“Is there anything you don’t know?” Alicia sighed.

 

“About life in general or you in particular?” Susan inquired.

 

“Forget it, I don’t want to know the answer.” Alicia looked at Susan carefully. “So, what is this exactly? Are you here to see if I’m still alive?” She asked suspiciously.

 

“Yes.” Susan said simply. “And check how you’re faring in your classes. Merlin gives me the reports, of course, but I want to hear it from you.”

 

“I guess that means you know I’m not that good in hand to hand combat.” Alicia mumbled.

 

“Yes, but it also means that I know you are doing very well in the target practices and Psychology classes.”

 

“Caradoc is a very good teacher and I enjoy his classes.” Alicia said sincerely.

 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Susan took a dainty sip from her cup before turning to give her attention fully to Alicia. “I am proud of you, but the most important question here is: are you proud of yourself?”

 

Alicia had not expected any kind of praise from Susan, least of all something so direct. She did take a minute to consider her answer. “I’m not proud of me yet.” She admitted at last. “But I’m getting there.”

 

“Good. There is no space for doubts in this job.” Susan warned seriously. “Doubts get you punched, if you are lucky. If you’re not… Well, than it gets us a process like this one.”

 

And she was back to bitchy. Alicia was missing the act. Or what she was starting to think as an act. Sometimes the things about Susan did not add up.

 

“Oh and Alicia?” Susan called. “Don’t go easy on any of them. You’re not here to make friends.”

 

Clearly.

 

XxX

 

Merlin went to his office to make sure things were the way he liked –Harry had a tendency to leave stuff around, mostly mugs. Athena, Philip’s yellow lab, was following him quietly. The poor puppy was missing her owner. Merlin had a mind to look for the kid just to punch him.

 

He had told Harry he would fix the situation. He would, keeping the dog. He was a bit softhearted when it came to dogs. One of the reasons he took care of Reep so often.

 

And thinking of the Setter, made him think of his owner. Well, he had not exactly stopped thinking about her, if he was being quite honest.

 

Merlin still could not believe that she had kissed him like that, no hesitation, no barrels held. His mind would not stop replaying the moment again and again.

 

It was intoxicating and exasperating at the same time, mostly because he had no idea of what he should do right now.

 

Susan was acting very cool, not indifferent, but a bit distant. He felt that she had closed up a bit, maybe because she was expecting him to take the next step. They should talk. They really should talk.

 

“Just so you know…” Caradoc’s voice startled Merlin, that turned to see the agent standing in the door of his office, “Gareth told everybody –twice –that you and Susan were kissing in the mission.”

 

Merlin rolled his eyes. Seriously, these idiots were all teenagers deep inside. “We were not kissing.” He said firmly.

 

Caradoc just arched a brow. Merlin cleared his throat. “It was one accidental kiss.”

 

Caradoc’s brow was still very arched. “Accidental?” He repeated dryly.

 

“Maybe not accidental.” Merlin conceded. “But it wasn’t planned and it’s not like we were kissing all the time or… It was one kiss.” He finished lamely.

 

Caradoc was analyzing him very carefully. Lucky for him, Merlin had years in training on how to hide his emotions.

 

“You two…” Caradoc started saying slowly. “Are the slowest, stupidest, most stubborn people I have ever met.” He declared. “And you are worse than her, because you’re not a little boy!”

 

Now Merlin was surprised. He never expected Caradoc to be the one that was going to call him out on anything. The man was the epitome of discretion and very much in favor of everyone minding their own business.

 

“You and Susan have to fix this. If you two don’t want to be together, that’s a right you have. But this roller-coaster of emotions isn’t good for you or for the team.” He kept on, very serious. “You both deserve to be happy and we all deserve a break from your hot-and-cold routine.”

 

“I know.” Merlin said at last, not even sure with what part he was agreeing. All of it, more likely.

 

“Talk to her, Merlin.” Caradoc said kindly, but firmly. “Make things right. We all miss the days you were friends.”

 

Merlin watched quietly as Caradoc left the room. He was right, of course. Merlin himself missed the days he could just sit and talk to her. He missed Susan.

 

He was going to talk to her.

 

XxX

Susan sat in her bed, hours after leaving the HQ. Reep was taking more than half of the bed and the kittens were all curled against him, with the exception of Porthos, that was belly up and completely stretched over his brothers.

 

It wasn’t really late. Actually it wasn’t even ten o’clock, but Susan had nothing to do. She went to check on Roxy in the hospital wing and the girl was fine. Well, she was complaining a lot and feeling embarrassed –even though nobody blamed her for getting shot –but she was alive and would not even have a cool scar to show off.

 

Mostly she had run from Eggsy and Gareth, because she knew what they would say and she was not willing to hear it.

 

OK, maybe she did not know exactly what they would say, but she had a feeling.

 

Bors was the one that helped her leave the HQ undetected, for what she had thanked the silent giant. She could not see anyone right now, most of all she did not want to answer any questions.

 

She wanted to keep that moment –that beautiful, precious moment – to herself for just a bit more. She wanted to think about Merlin’s lips, Merlin’s eyes and Merlin’s hands, alone and without disturbance.

 

She wanted to do it now, because she knew it would not last. Eventually the outside world would interfere in this bubble she had created, Merlin would want to talk… And the thing she feared the most was what Merlin would say.

 

She felt, deep down, that he would make things bad.

 

So, for now, she wanted to stay there in silence, re-thinking all the seconds and things of that kiss. She wanted to have that moment to be hers forever.

 

Then the doorbell rang.

 

Apparently she would have to let go sooner than she thought.

 

She sighed and put on a robe over her pajamas. Reep and the kittens didn’t even move when she got out of the bed and out of the room. She went down the stairs and took a deep breath before opening the door.

 

Merlin was there.

 

God, if he said something stupid she would shoot him.

 

“Good night, Susan. Can we talk?” He said carefully.

 

“Yes, of course.” She gave him space to come in. It was not like she could scape this.

 

She just wished he had waited until tomorrow.

 

“Take a seat. Do you want tea?” She offered calmly.

 

“No, thank you.” He took a seat on the couch and looked at her expectantly.

 

Susan took a deep breath and sat in the armchair, directly in front of him. They looked at each other in silence for one long minute, then Merlin cleared his throat.

 

Susan’s smile at that was instinctive. She knew that Merlin did that when he was nervous or getting ready for a lecture. She wondered what was the case.

 

“Susan…” He took a deep breath “Before anything else, I want to say I’m so sorry for almost calling you by your name. It was completely unprofessional.”

 

“It’s okay.” She said honestly. “I guess I caught you too much by surprise.”

 

“Isn’t that the truth?” Merlin murmured, more to himself.

 

“Should I apologize, Merlin?” She asked directly, because she needed to know.

 

“No.” was his instant answer. “You should never have to apologize for things you do and are honest.”

 

“But…” Susan prompted, because she knew it was coming.

 

“It was the wrong moment to do it. Wait, let me finish.” He raised a hand when she opened her mouth. Susan closed it obediently. “It was the wrong moment, independently of how we might feel about each other. We were in a mission, Sylver got away… I’m not saying it was my fault or your fault. It was just the wrong moment. And yes, we have been building up to that for a long time, but…” He took a deep breath.

 

“You are right.” Susan conceded.

 

“The thing is we had many ups and downs since we met.” Merlin continued, looking at her very seriously. “You’re one of the most amazing people I know, Susan. You have no idea of how much I admire you.”

 

“Merlin…” She sighed. “It sounds like you’re breaking up with me, which is ridiculous, since we’re not even together.”

 

“No, we aren’t.” He said not unkindly. It was the truth after all, right?

 

“What do you want me to say?” She asked at last, because this was more than she could take. She felt stupid right now, for all the feelings she kept without encouragement from him, for all the hopes she had for no apparent reason.

 

“Tell me you aren’t hurt for what I said after Creagan’s mission.” He told her. “Can you honestly tell me you aren’t upset by it?”

 

“Of course I am, Merlin!” She snapped. “Yes, we have ups and downs and you know why? Because of you! I have no idea of what you feel, you never tell me. Yes, I’m hurt, because I feel like I’ve been wearing my heart on my sleeve and you’ve purposely ignoring the fact instead of telling me to jump in or get lost.”

 

Merlin scratched his nape with a little of frustration. “Do you know how old I am?”

 

“Seriously?” She said deadpan. “That’s your problem?”

 

“My problem is that I’m over 50 and I have been acting like a teenager around you, Susan, and that frustrates the fuck out of me.” He all but snapped at her. “I act unprofessional where you are concerned, because the last thing I feel when I’m close to you is professional.”

 

“So?” She prompted a bit rudely.

 

“So this is the worst possible moment for us to contemplate anything.” He said with finality. “I miss the days we could talk and laugh. I miss being the person you trusted and sought. I want those days back.”

 

That took all the wind from Susan’s sails. “I miss that too.”

 

“That’s why I’m saying that we need to take a step back.” His voice went back to more calm. “You are still upset with me and I don’t feel I can be very rational right now. I want us to be okay before deciding on anything that will certainly affect us a lot.”

 

“So this is your very complicated way of saying you want us to be friends again.” It was not a question.

 

“I want us to be friends before we are anything else.” Was his reply. “We need time to get over the things we said, to forgive. Otherwise we’ll never be able to move forward.”

 

Susan ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re right.” She admitted. “I want to have that time back, I want things to be like before. But now I’m even more upset with you. For God’s sake, Merlin.” She got up and took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s take some time to forgive each other or whatever. You’re right, it was the wrong moment.”

 

“Susan…” He got up too.

 

“Please, go.” She told him firmly. “I need to think about this. And I know that in the morning I’ll understand you and agree with you, but right now I want to be alone.”

 

Merlin took two long steps until he was right in front of her and captured her face between his hands. “You say you’re the only one that has been wearing her heart on her sleeve.” He told her, his forehead against hers. “But that isn’t the truth. I don’t say you’re the most amazing woman I know because I trying to let you down gently, Susan. I say it because you have captivated me in a way I never thought possible. I don’t want you to apologize for kissing me because I won’t apologize for kissing you back. It was the most perfect feeling in the world. And I want you in a way that I’ve never wanted someone else before. This is why I want to do things right, I want things to be better between us. So don’t think that you’re alone in this. The fact that you do makes me feel like the worst person on the face of Earth.”

 

Susan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Merlin.” She told him softly.

 

“I’ll see you then.” He replied gently, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

 

She heard the door open and close, then took another shaky breath. She was sure she had a bottle of wine here somewhere. She just had to find it quickly.

 

XxX

 

The next morning found Merlin watching the recruits being kicked into shape by a ruthless Eggsy. He was in his office sipping coffee and wondering, not for the first time, if he had made a mistake the night before.

 

He felt –at the time –it was the right thing to do. Independent of what they might feel for each other they had been butting heads for a long time, even more than they enjoyed moments of peace.

 

He wanted Susan to take the time to warm up to him again and to prepare himself to say to her he was sorry for what he said about Creagan. It was stupid, but he still couldn’t do it. Yes, he had been jealous and –for now- he could not let it go. But he could not dream of anything else with her until he apologized appropriately.

 

He would. She deserved nothing less, even if she –eventually –decided she could aspire to way more than an old grumpy man like him.

 

Someone knocked on his door and he turned in time to see Susan standing there, hair braided and lipstick on. “Good morning, Merlin.” She smiled at him a bit hesitantly.

 

“Good morning, Susan.” He smiled back and saw her face glow. They could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... DON'T KILL ME!
> 
> Yes, first kiss. Yes, Merlin you fucking idiot. Yes, he was cute anyway. So many conflicting emotions...
> 
> I thought it was way pass the time they finally kissed, because nobody could stand the tension anymore, especially myself. However, as a woman, I couldn't forgive Merlin for how much of a prick he was about the whole thing Cillian thing. Susan didn't deserve that kind of attitude from him, so...
> 
> He needs to redeem himself, they need a bit of time.
> 
> BTW I used Mark Strong's real age, and that's why Merlin is over 50.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your feelings and I'll see you all soon.
> 
> xoxo


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello... It's me. And I'm fucking sorry T.T
> 
> I didn't plan on disappearing like that. I just lost my focus. Kinda like Dory.
> 
> I am terrible at adulting.... u.u'
> 
> Anyway. I'm back, I promise!
> 
> ALERT!!!! BIG ALERT!!!!! TRIGGER ALERT!
> 
> Guys, I'm very serious! There's a rape attempt in this chapter and violence. I will mark the beginning of it XXXX and the end too. Okay?  
> Just pay attention to that.

_Six months later…_

Alicia lay in her bed looking at the ceiling and waiting for the time to wake up. It would be another ten minutes before all the lights were suddenly turned on.  Roger was sleeping almost on top of her, like he had no idea of how big he was.

 

These had been crazy months. The training had become even more insane and –at times –downright scary. She had to sit through a whole class on physical and psychological torture, then punch the hell out of a man sitting tied to a chair. She had no idea what kind of man he was and what he had done to deserve it. They never told her.

 

She had finally picked up on the fighting, though now she had a problem with those fucking bombs. She –for some stupid reason –never managed to make on work as fast as the others did. Merlin was pissed at her for it and she was expecting to be kicked out for it soon or have to spend a whole night trying to learn it.

 

There were only six of them now, Jackson was out as well. Alicia had a feeling that soon it would all be over. It`s been almost one year now.

 

Michael was the problem. He was still there, and she had a feeling he was the favorite. He had become progressively worse as the time went by. The worst of it all was that he was fucking smart. He picked the perfect moments to torment them all.

 

He had been one of the first one to pick up that Harrison was gay and make his life hell for that. He also was a sexist pig that liked to make her and Diana feel like crap. But he seemed to have it out for Alicia most of all.

 

He kept saying she was a whore of “lower birth” and the only reason she was there was to “alleviate” them. Sometimes he would sit on his bed and make a gesture for her –like he really expected her to come closer –and all but order her to blow him.

 

The other idiots would laugh, though he only did that in front of his little friends. Lucas was still a lone wild card and did not get involved with any of that.

 

Alicia was fighting to let it go, because she would not let him provoke her into a fight. It was what he wanted. She hoped to hell and back that this was all he wanted.

 

Suddenly the lights were on. Time to start another day.

 

XxX

 

Alicia really liked Galahad. He had a quick smile and was witty, but he also could kick all of their asses without even breaking into a sweat. But most of all she felt that he got her.

 

He must have been the underdog on his training days, the one nobody wanted there. She wondered who had brought him here and how the others felt when he won.

 

He made her feel like she could do this. That she was not just the running joke in facility, that she actually stood a chance.

 

“You’re all dismissed.” Galahad said at least. “Hit the showers, Merlin is waiting for you.”

 

Alicia started picking up her things when Lancelot appeared on the gym. “Hey Galahad.”

 

Galahad opened an amazing smile. “Hey Lancey!”

 

Lancelot rolled her honey eyes. “You done here? Arthur needs to talk to us.”

 

Lancelot had disappeared for a while. Right after the day Merlin and Susan disappeared as well. Alicia had gone two months without seeing her.

 

“Anything for you, darling.” He said, affecting an upper-class accent. “See you tomorrow, Ali.”

 

“Don’t call me that!” She protested.

 

Galahad just laughed and threw his arm around Lancelot’s shoulder, pulling her to his side. Were they together? It didn’t seem likely to Alicia. Lancelot didn’t seem to be Galahad’s type, way too proper, too much of a cool lady, just like Susan.

 

Maybe she was wrong. But really, she didn’t think so.

 

XxX

 

_“Thank you so much for calling, Susan. Sometimes I feel that Alicia doesn’t tell me everything that is going on, but hearing from you makes me feel better.”_

 

“It’s okay, Tina.” Susan smiled, even though the other woman couldn’t see it. “You know how she is, wants to take care of everybody and look strong doing it.”

 

Alicia could call her family in regular intervals, but her calls were recorded and listened to.

 

 _“Oh, you get her so well!”_ Tina laughed. _“I keep telling her to stop sending part of the scholarship money she gets, but she insists she has no idea what I’m talking about.”_

 

She wouldn’t. Susan was the one sending the money. Every time she won a bet because of Alicia’s performance on her tests she would send it to the girl’s family. She hadn’t told the recruit, so she had no idea what she thought of this.

 

The truth was that Susan chose to be cold and distant to Alicia. Harry had been almost a father to Eggsy during his training and the boy idolized the older agent. Susan didn’t want that for Alicia. She wanted the girl to do this for herself and nobody else, because –if she failed –she would not feel like she disappointed Susan or owed her anything.

 

“Well, I just make the transfers because she asks me.” Susan said at last. “But I can guarantee you that this money is not depriving her of anything, or I wouldn’t help her.”

 

 _“You are an angel to us, Susan.”_ Tina replied.

 

“Not an angel, but I’m very glad I can help.” Susan said honestly. “Alicia has a bright future ahead of her, she just has to be strong enough to fight for it.”

 

XxX

 

Alicia was sitting on a working table on Merlin’s office trying to make that fucking bomb in the allotted time. By now she was just considering blowing the whole fucking place.

 

“You get frustrated too easily.” Merlin admonished from the other side of the table.

 

“I don’t.” She protested. “Only when I can’t get something.” She murmured.

 

Merlin arched a brow at her, like this was his point.

 

“OK, I’ll start over.” She grumbled before doing exactly that.

 

Merlin went back to whatever he was typing on his tablet. Alicia took a deep breath, because she needed a break, she needed to think of something else for a while.

 

When she arrived to practice this with Merlin, Susan had been leaving his office with a small smile. Merlin had a plate of food and warm tea with him, so she guessed that this was a present from the woman.

 

She had seen them together in other moments and she had the distinctive feeling that Susan took care of him somehow, but they were not together exactly. There was something weird going on between them. She wanted to know what.

 

“So…” She stared carefully, eyes on the equipment in front of her. “What’s the deal between you and Susan?”

 

Merlin cleared his throat. Alicia had never seen him doing it before, which meant… This has got to be a nervous gesture.

 

“There’s no deal between _Guinevere_ and me.” He stressed her agent name. “We’re just friends.”

 

“Yeah… No. Don’t try to bullshit me.” She rolled her eyes. “There is a ‘deal’ between you guys. What is it? You were together and are not anymore or you never actually got together?” She pushed a bit.

 

Merlin frowned. “That is highly unprofessional.” He observed.

 

“You know what’s the good thing about me, Merlin? I don’t know any of you enough to take a side, and…” She pressed on when he opened his mouth. “If this doesn’t work, I’ll go back home and you’ll never see me again. So it’s a good moment for you to open up to someone. I would listen.” She pointed out reasonably.

 

“Have you considered that you might pass and stay?” Merlin said dryly.

 

“Oh well, I promise not to take sides even then.” She gave him an angelic smile. “Come on, it may be good for you to open up a bit.” She prompted gently.

 

Merlin sighed. This was ridiculous. He should not be having this kind of conversation with a candidate –Susan’s candidate, at that –but… He never felt comfortable talking about his feelings with Harry and he figured that he might as well try. It’s not like he was going anywhere alone.

 

“We were never together.” He said at last.

 

“Why?” She inquired.

 

“Because… I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” Merlin took off his glasses and pressed the bridge of his nose. “Susan is an amazing vibrant young woman and I’m so…”

 

“Oh my god! You’re going to say old, aren’t you?” Alicia cut him, somewhere between shocked and impatient. “I don’t know if you realize that, but you are one hell of a sexy guy.” She ignored the shock on his face and went on. “And I don’t really think she cares for that.” She seen the way Susan looked at Merlin a couple of times. Besides, Susan was a mature woman, she would never enjoy boys.

 

Alicia thought for a second, reflecting if she should put it out there, and decided that yes, she should. “The thing is, Merlin: yes, you are older than her, but the life you guys live is too uncertain. I mean, the fact that you are still alive is a miracle on its own.” She said honestly. “And here is another thing: you think you’re old, but maybe in a couple of days Susan’s the one that is going to have a bad mission and she’ll be the one not coming back.” She felt it was something he needed to be reminded. “You guys live too dangerous lives to be worried about stupid things like your age difference.  With all due respect, there is no guarantee that any of you will last the next year. Maybe you have the wrong priorities.”

 

Merlin sat quietly, not sure of what he should say to that. She had a point, a very good one. Hadn’t he almost lost her already?

 

“And have you ever –I don’t know –thought of asking her how she feels about it?” She teased. “Since you know, it’s her business too.”

 

Merlin frowned again, letting her know that the sass was not appreciated.

 

“I said stupid things to her.” He admitted after a second.

 

“Let me guess.” She said dramatically. “You haven’t apologized yet. What’s with you men and apologizing?” Alicia rolled her pretty eyes. “Seriously. If she matters to you -and I going crazy here and guessing that she does -why don’t you just apologize so you guys can finally get somewhere?”

 

Merlin opened his mouth, but no answer came. He frowned again. Alicia thought if Susan would get upset with her for making her dear Merlin frown so much.

 

“Go back to your bomb, Alicia.” Merlin grumbled at last.

 

Well, she had done her part. He just had to stop being slow now.

 

XxX

 

Susan came by the HQ to check on Alicia and drop her shoes. The heels of these pumps were hand grenades and she had used one in her last mission. She needed new heels.

 

She knocked on Merlin’s door and waited for him to tell her to come in. He was fixing some kind of computer –they still looked all the same to her –but he raised his head and offered her a smile. “Good morning, Guinevere.”

 

“It’s already afternoon, Merlin.” She smiled at him. “I brought the shoes.” She raised the pumps so he could see them.

 

“Leave them there.” He pointed at a counter and went back to his computer.

 

Susan rolled her eyes. Merlin worked way too much and got too caught up in those things. She put the shoes down and turned to leave when his voice stopped her. “Susan.”

 

She turned to find him standing and coming on her direction. “Yes?”

 

“I’m sorry.” He said with so much sincerity she was blindsided for a second.

 

“I’m sorry for everything I said after Creagan’s mission. It was petty, selfish and cruel.” He forged on, eyes on hers. He walked until he was only three steps from her. “Most of all I’m sorry that I questioned your work, your competence as an agent, even your motives. And if I ever made you think that you did something wrong, then I regret everything even more.”

 

Susan stood there, looking at him in shock. It had been such a long time since the mission that she was losing her hope that he would ever apologize, realize how much he hurt her with his words.

 

“I’m sorry it took me all this time to see how much of an idiot I was.” He said finally. “I hope that, in time, you can forgive me.” He was very serious. Well, he always was, but now there was something even more intense on him.

 

“Thank you, Merlin.” She said at last. “This means a lot to me.”

 

“To me as well.” He gave her a small nod.

 

“Good afternoon, Merlin.” She smiled to him.

 

His smile was, for the first time in a long time, honest, sweet and all but blinding. “Good afternoon, Susan.”

 

XxX

 

They had just finished a shooting training when Bors came in, very serious. “Grab all your equipment. We leave in fifteen, if you’re not ready you’re going home.”

 

They all scrambled quickly to the lockers and grabbed their stuff, clothes, backpacks and boots. When they arrived at the front of the house there was a truck waiting for them. They all climbed on the back of it and found Bors there.

 

“Under your bench there is ammo and a knife.” He informed them, since they never had anything that could be used as weapon in their backpacks. “Here are your rifles.” Bors passed the weapons to them. “Be careful at how much you shoot, you only have 10 bullets.”

 

“What are we doing exactly, sir?” Diana asked.

 

“You’ll see in time.” He replied enigmatically.

 

The drive was short and soon they were climbing on a small airplane, where Merlin was waiting for them.

 

“Listen up.” He said as soon as they took off. “This is going to be a very big exercise for all of you. We are flying over to Timisoara, in Romania, there we’ll get a chopper.” There was a small table in the center of the airplane and Merlin spread a map on it. “Each of you will be dropped in a different point of the same forest. You’ll be alone with nothing but what you carry with you right now. There we’ll be no communication with anyone, much less myself, you’ll be completely alone. These are the coordinates for the pickup point, where you have 24 hours to arrive, if you don’t, we’ll leave you behind.”

 

“Piece of cake.” Lucas said cockily.

 

“And…” Merlin frowned at the boy. “There is a militia that hides around that forest. The chopper around it will make them very agitated. These are the kind of fellas that shoot first, torture later and ask question as a last resort, so be careful. Better not to engage them.”

 

“So, let me get this straight, sir…” Harrison asked carefully. “We are going to be dropped at nightfall in some unnamed forest, alone, with no communication and only what we have on our backs, we’ll have to walk only you know how many kilometers, find some in spot in 24 hours, while taking care not to be found by a bunch of bloody thirst armed men. That’s it?”

 

“Yes.” Merlin said, perfectly calm.

 

“Sounds lovely.” Diana sighed low beside Alicia.

 

XxX

 

When Merlin said they would be “dropped” he really meant “dropped”. The chopper didn’t actually land for them to jump out, so they had a few meters to fall.

 

Those Kingsman’s people seemed to have a blast making their lives hell.

 

The first things Alicia did right after falling and landing was find cover so she could check her supplies, check her coordinates and her watch. It was time to start walking. She hadn’t been able to see anything from the chopper, so she wasn’t sure how bad the terrain in the forest would be.

 

Very bad, as it turned out. The trees were very tall and stood to close, so there was not much light coming from the moon. The terrain was irregular and it looked like she would have to go up.

 

She needed to find water first, that was her first decision. She had a pair of night vision goggles in her backpack, so she used them to move carefully around the forest.

 

The temperature was clow there, not terribly, but enough to be very uncomfortable even with the layers of clothes she had. Alicia made the decision of walking slowly, but with certain.

 

After two hours walking, she finally found water. She observed the area around for a good ten minutes, making sure there was no one around and no traps. Finally she approached the stream and filled the two flasks she carried.

 

After that Alicia went through the tensest 18 hours of her life. She opted for not sleeping, what could be a dangerous maneuver, since she had an early day and trained most of it, but she could not let her body rest, the risk was too big.

 

There were soldier rations on her bag and she kept control over it. She was hoping to hell and back that they would not have to stay more than 24 hours in here, but knowing the Kingsman taste for practical jokes on the recruits she would not rule out the possibility to be left there for a week.

 

After almost ten hours walking very slowly, Alicia was happy to not have fallen sleep, she would never arrive in time if she did.

 

She came across a small camp full of men. Fortunately they did not see her, so she just tracked back the way she came and lost another hour rounding it.

 

It took 18 hours for her to get there, but when she finally did she was never happier in her life. Until she saw that the only other person there was Michael.

 

Fucking awesome.

 

She tried to approach quietly, but he turned to her anyway.

 

“You.” He said unimpressed. “Well, we’re the only one here and no sign a pick up.”

 

“Any trouble?” She inquired, deciding to keep it focused on the task. “I saw a small camp around seven kilometers that way.”

 

“I came across one too, but further, very close to where I began.” He replied. “I haven’t seen anything so far, but I’m keeping my eyes open.”

 

“We can take turns until someone else comes.” She suggested.

 

Michael finally looked back at her, one of his sleazy smirks appearing. “Why don’t you cook something for us, hm? Since you’re the girl and all.”

 

Alicia took a deep breath but refused to take the bait. If this was anyone else she would probably lay down for a bit and try a nap, but she would not lower her guard around Michael. She knew her body was running on reserve, but as soon someone else came she would rest a bit.

 

She decided it was okay to risk a fire here, it was nighttime and it was getting cold again. Besides that they were on a vantage point, so they could see anyone that might be coming their way.

 

She warmed some of the rations –fortunately their backpacks counted with a whole lot of things, though she had the impression the only reason for that was to make it heavier – and served a portion for him in one of the bowls.

 

“Finally someone learned her place.” He commented snidely.

 

Alicia chose to ignore him once again. Nothing would give her more pleasure than punching his teeth in, but it would get her kicked out and she was not giving up so close to the end.

 

They ate and sat there in silence for one hour without any signs of anyone else coming. Alicia started to feel her eyelids drop. She was so tired.

 

“You look tired.” Michael said suddenly.

 

“I’m okay.” She replied quickly, pressing the heel of her hand against her eyes.

 

“You are so tired, Alicia.” He said condescendingly. “Don’t you see that this life is not for a girl like you? You’re weak.”

 

“I appreciate your concern, Michael, but I don’t need it.” She replied coldly.

 

“I’m just saying how it is.” He threw his hands up and shrugged. “This is a men’s world. You should attain yourself to what you’re good at.” He got up.

 

Alicia was not going answer this and encourage him, she didn’t even look at him.

 

**XXXX**

 

“With this body of yours…” He said anyway. “The only thing you are good for is being a whore.”

 

Alicia pressed her lips together and refused to answer, she knew he would take pleasure in making her lose her cool.

 

“Hey, don’t be like that. At least you’re good for something.” He raised his hand and pulled a strand of hair that had fallen from her bun.

 

Alicia whipped her head away quickly. “Stay the fuck away from…”

 

She felt the impact of the bowl against her face and fell to the ground, completely lost. The bowl was made of aluminum and not really hard or heavy, but Michael put a lot of strength behind the blow and hit her right in the temple.

 

“You could make this easy on yourself.” He sighed, throwing the bowl away. “Accept it.”

 

Alicia moaned in pain and felt the warm dripple against her temple. She was bleeding.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Michael?” She demanded, though her voice was low and husky. Her vision was blurred.

 

Michael fell on top of her and pulled her hair. “Showing you your place, you whore.” He growled on her ear.

 

Alicia tried to fight him, but she was bone deep tired and her head was spinning. She bucked under him and managed to throw a punch, but got backhanded and tasted blood on her mouth. She screamed, not caring that the militia might be out there. Michael managed to hold her wrists together in just one hand, the other pulling his knife to cut through the front of her clothes, nicking some skin right along with it.

 

He screamed at her to ‘shut the fuck up’ and slapped her again. Alicia fought to remain conscious, because she would not make this easier for him.

 

He bit her hard on her shoulder and groped her breast roughly. Alicia felt his fingers on the waistband of her pants when a very strong light came from above them. Michael immediately got up from the ground, rolling Alicia farther from the light.

 

**XXXX**

 

There was enough space for the smaller chopper to land there, but it had barely touched the ground when Merlin jumped out of it.

 

“The crazy bitch attacked me…” Michael started saying with his most innocent face. He didn’t get very far with his speech, because Merlin punched him in the face and in the kidneys. When he fell to the ground Merlin punched him another couple of times, before kicking him in the ribs.

 

Susan jumped right after him, but she ran straight to Alicia, who was lying on the floor. “She needs a doctor!” She cried urgently.

 

Merlin approached and picked the girl up, making his way back to the helicopter. Dagonet climbed out and looked at Michael with disgust. “Richard…” The boy moaned in pain.

 

Dagonet pulled him up by the collar and punched him twice before throwing him on the ground again. “Go back to England on your own.” He growled, before picking all the equipment up and leaving the boy with nothing in the middle of the night.

 

They all climbed in the chopper and left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Let's talk about that last part. It was terrible to write and I hated every minute of it.
> 
> I don't like when people use rape as an "easy" way to develop a female character -a trend that's become scarily common on movies and series. This isn't about that. This is a fucked up situation that people try to brush off like it isn't a big deal, like only monsters coming out of hell make things like that. It's not. It's that cool guy of you college, that nice man that lives in your block. Man rape woman and it isn't about sex, it's about power and humiliation. They feel entitled to it. It's fucked up and disgusting.
> 
> My country has 1 rape at every 11 minutes. It's legal to have an abortion in this cases (otherwise it's still illegal), but the government has been trying to make it more difficult.
> 
> So yeah, this kind of shit happens. We can forget it, we can't sugar coat it.
> 
> Sorry if it upsets any of you. It wasn't my intention. At all.
> 
> About the rest of the chapter...  
> I really like the conversation Alicia and Merlin have in the beginning of the chapter. Alicia is very observant and smart.
> 
> Merlin finally apologized. If you pay attention, Susan never said "It's okay." Because it's not. He was an asshole and it was high time he apologized for that.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> xoxo


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, consequences...
> 
> Let's see what's going on with the Kingsman after the mess of the last chapter.
> 
> Thank your for the kudos!

“Susan…” Merlin called gently, but the woman kept pacing, twisting and pulling at her own fingers in front of the door to Alicia’s room. “Susan.” He called again.

 

She turned to him suddenly. “This is our fault.” She said at last. “We should have never let it get this far. I told her she wouldn’t…”

 

“Susan, we couldn’t have guessed.” Merlin cut her. “We never thought…”

 

“Didn’t we, Merlin?” She demanded. “Or were we trying very hard not to see what was about to happen?”

 

“Is this really helping you?” Merlin inquired seriously. “Throwing around whose fault is it, it’s going to make it better?”

 

“I should have shot him!” She yelled.

 

“Stop this!” Merlin finally snapped at her. “Why are you doing this to yourself? How is this supposed to help her?”

 

“Do you know what almost happened to her in the Army, Merlin?” She demanded angrily. Not angry at him, just angry. “She was surrounded by five boys. Five. They started pulling at her clothes and grabbing at her body, until another officer came across them and told them to ‘stop fooling around’, ignoring how scared she was. Like she wanted to be there! And, this same officer, when called in to give his version of the events when she reported the fact, said he saw nothing. It was the word of a senior officer and five boys against hers. What do you think it happened, Merlin?”

 

“Nothing happened, Susan.” Merlin sighed. “I know that.”

 

“Yes, nothing happened. And what will happen now?” She demanded.

 

“You can be damn sure it will be the opposite of nothing.” He said serious, putting his hands on her shoulders. “He might be able to get back to England, which I don’t believe it will be easy, but he won’t get away of this. I will not let him.”

 

It was like all the wind went out of Susan’s sails. She sagged against Merlin, her forehead against his chest. “I feel so guilty. I put her in this situation.”

 

“You and Dagonet need to stop blaming yourselves for this. The blame lays only on Michael and nobody else.” Merlin said gently, hugging her and resting his chin on her head. “You need to be strong for her. She’ll need you by her side, on her side.”

 

Susan pressed herself more against him, trying to soak in his strength and calm. She knew that he was just as angry as her, that he wanted to hunt Michael down as much as the others, but he knew that raging now would not help at all.

 

She had no idea how long they stood there, holding each other, until the door opened and the doctor came out.

 

“She is going to be fine.” He assured them. “She has come cuts and bruises, but she wasn’t hurt very badly –physically at least. She is a bit dehydrated and tired, but it must be because of the training. The blow to the head is the only thing that really worries me right now, but the scans show no sign of trauma. I’m going to keep her for tonight and tomorrow you can take her back to England.”

 

“Can I see her?” Susan asked.

 

“Yes, but only one person at a time.” He said.

 

“It is okay.” Merlin said looking at Susan. “I’ll get things ready for us to take her back.”

 

“Thank you, Merlin.” She sighed.

 

Merlin touched her face and pulled her close. “It will be okay.” He promised dropping a kiss to her forehead.

 

Susan took a deep breath, before going inside the room. Alicia was awake, looking at the blank wall, no expression on her face. She had bruises forming on her face and her hair was tightly braided, making them even more obvious. The girl looked so small and young now, in the hospital bed, in a paper gown.

 

“Hello, Alicia.” Susan said stepping closer.

 

“Guinevere.” Alicia turned to her quickly.

 

“It’s okay, you can say Susan.” The other woman pulled a chair and sat by her. She hesitated for a second before taking Alicia’s hand in hers. “How are you?”

 

“Tired of answering this question.” Alicia tried for a bit of sass but failed miserably.

 

“Alicia…” Susan sighed. “I know you must be tired, but I really need to know.”

 

It was Alicia’s turn to sigh. She pressed her lips in a thin line and looked at the hand that Susan was holding. “I’m not fine.” She said carefully, like she was testing the words. “I don’t feel any pain now –I had worse in training sessions. But I’m not fine. I’m angry and scared.”

 

“You have every right to be.” Susan said to her. “But I want to assure you that this is _not_ just going to be forgotten. Michael _will have_ to face consequences, one way or another.” She said seriously.

 

“How did you get there that fast?” Alicia asked suddenly.

 

“Merlin will kill me for telling you this, but…” Susan rolled her eyes, like she couldn’t care less. “Do you really think we would let you all run around in a forest without supervision?”

 

“What?” Alicia asked shocked.

 

“You had cameras and microphones in your backpacks. We heard and saw everything. Besides that, there isn’t any militia in the forest. It was us, all the time. Some of the other branches of Kingsman come here to train as well, so we took the chance to throw you here.”

 

“So that people I saw…”

 

“Were from the South African division.” Susan confirmed. “We asked them all to bundle up and not be too loud, so you wouldn’t recognize what language they were speaking.”

 

“Christ.” Alicia exclaimed. “You guys are a bunch of arseholes. Swear to God, half of the things that happen in here are practical jokes.”

 

Susan did not answer that observation.

 

“When we heard Michael talking to you we were already moving. We were going to pick you two up, because Arthur decided it was enough of his attitude and calling you names was beside childish and downright offensive. But then… He attacked you.” Susan squeezed Alicia’s hand. “We were already on our way, but…”

 

“I’m just glad you got there in time.” Alicia grumbled.

 

But did they? Was it enough time for her not to… Susan took a deep breath. This was not about her, it was about Alicia. The last thing this girl needed now was Susan freaking out and blaming herself. Susan just wanted to be there for her

 

“So…” Alicia cleared her throat. “What happens now?”

 

“Concerning what exactly?” Susan asked.

 

“The training.”

 

“So you are staying.” Susan seemed relieved.

 

“Now that Michael is out? There is no fucking way in hell I’m giving up.” Alicia guaranteed.

 

“Language.” Susan said in a sigh. “This exercise was cancelled, but you had already passed. You’re still one of the best candidates we have and the favorite among many of us.”

 

Alicia was looking at Susan’s face, like she was trying to figure something out. “You’re decidedly less bitchy today.”

 

Susan just gave her a small smile, but become suddenly serious. “Alicia, I want you to stay and I’m happy you want to stay as well, but you’ll have to go through an evaluation.”

 

“You’re gonna force me to talk to a shrink?” She demanded shocked.

 

“Yes.” Susan said firmly. “Don’t look at me like that. Even I have to do that on occasion, it depends on the mission.” She had talked with a shrink for a week after the Thornton mission, months after she broke her ribs and she did for an even longer time because of Creagan’s mission.

 

Alicia looked positively petulant with the pout she was showing now, but Susan didn’t care. She might think she was okay now, but maybe the shock hadn’t settled fully yet. How many nights would Alicia wake up in a cold sweat, afraid that Michael was back for her? How many times would she jump, scared of a shadow hovering over her? How much of her life had just been destroyed?

 

“I’m taking you home.” Susan promised.

 

XxX

 

“Roxy!”

 

Roxy quickly closed her mobile and tried to take a deep breath. God, she felt like crying. What the fuck was wrong with her? The problem has got to be with her!

 

“Roxy, something really bad happened in the training.” Eggsy was saying very fast as he approached her. “Michael… What happened to you?” He asked curious, then his eyes took her face and he frowned. “What is the problem?”

 

“Nothing.” She said resolutely, taking a deep breath. “What happened to Michael?”

 

“Roxy…” He sounded concerned now.

 

“Eggsy, please.” She deflated. Roxy ran a hand through her hair. “Not now. Just tell me what happened.”

 

Eggsy still hesitated for a second, but he must have sensed that Roxy was not ready to be pushed, so he let go, for now. “They aborted the training. Michael attacked Alicia. Percival didn’t give me details, but it sounds…” He took a deep breath. “I think he tried to rape her.”

 

“What?” Roxy was completely taken aback. She had not expected –in a million years –that Michael bullying would take such a dark turn.

 

“Percival is waiting for us.” Eggsy said, starting to walk. “I think he has more details.”

 

Roxy followed Eggsy and they found Percival in a sitting room. The man looked ragged and very tense, but he explained to them what happened, because Merlin and taken the time to explain it to him.

 

“How the fuck did he think he could get away with it?” Eggsy said incredulous.

 

Percival’s lips thinned as he pressed them together, but his eyes gave Roxy the answer. “Because he has done this before and got away with it.” She guessed.

 

Percival nodded, his neck very tense. “I started digging as soon as Merlin called.” He said. “The story eventually surfaced. There was this young girl working as a maid in his family house, she was illegal on the country, very little money, no family. Perfect victim; who could she talk to and who would listen to her?” There was a tread of steel on Percival’s voice, anger barely contained in his words.

 

“Fuck’s sake, can we kill him?” Eggsy cursed.

 

“Don’t worry, Eggsy.” Percival said, his eyes cold and calculating. “We will deal with this. Of that, you can be sure.”

 

XxX

 

Alicia did not know what she had been expecting of the Kingsman’s ‘head doctor’, but sure as hell had not been the kind Santa-Claus-like figure. Doctor Queen seemed like the kind of guy that should be sitting on a mall hearing Christmas wishes.

 

Alicia had talked to a couple of counselors when she was in school, because she was considered a “problem-kid” with “too much attitude” and a great “disrespect for authority figures”. Those people were over-worked and underpaid and could not possibly care less about a brat like her.

 

It was not that it looked like Doctor Queen was itching to be her new bestie, but he was considerate and a very good listener, he did not push her to talk or made it seem she was wasting his time.

 

Maybe that was exactly why she saw herself opening up to him. Once she started she could not stop. It was like she relived every minute of the attack and cried. She made a million of questions, but most of all she just wanted to know why her again?

 

Was “victim” written in her forehead? Did she really look like a…

 

No! She was not going to think something like that, because if she did, Michael wins. She was not a whore and even if she was, there was no excuse for what he tried to do to her.

 

Doctor Queen said he was glad she saw that the only person to blame in all of this was Michael. He told her she did nothing wrong.

 

“I know many people will tell you that ‘this must be hard’ and that ‘they understand’ how you feel.” He said to her seriously. “But they don’t. Your pain, your fear, they’re all yours. You don’t have to explain yourself to them, don’t have to push yourself to be ‘okay’ fast. This won’t be easy, but you’re a strong woman, Alicia. Only you can tell what you feel, but I’ll be here to listen to you.”

 

Alicia seemed to think for a minute, eyes on her hands. “Does this mean…” She cleared her throat, “Am I free to keep training?”

 

“You’re free to do whatever you want to.”

 

XxX

 

“She is sleeping better, Susan. I wouldn’t lie to you.” Merlin said gently.

 

“I know, Merlin.” Susan sighed. “It’s not that I don’t believe in you…”

 

“But you feel the need to check.” He completed for her. “She’ll be fine.”

 

“Have you told her about Michael already?” Susan asked concerned.

 

“Harry will talk to her tomorrow, after their jump.”

 

“Was he arrested?”

 

“Yes.” Merlin said, his expression hard. “And a boy like Michael will not fare very well in prison.”

 

They could not get him arrested for the rape of the other girl –she left the country- or for trying to rape Alicia. There was not enough evidence –it happened in another country, where they should not have been to start with -and Michael’s father had too much power, but they could bend the rules.

 

There was a brand new judge rising in London, one that was making his life mission to end drug dealing in the city. He had zero-tolerance for drug distributors of whatever walk of life. Michael was the kind of boy that would get his friends nice things for parties –something else that Dagonet did not know and was eating at him. It was not enough for him to be convicted, but the Kingsman were not going to play by the rules.

 

Michael would not be arrested as a rapist? He sure was fuck could get arrested for drug dealing. And he had.

 

“Maybe we should have just shot him.” Susan grumbled.

 

“Maybe we should have.” Merlin agreed. “But we already make too many decisions without any regard for laws, Susan. We need to remind ourselves that we’re not the owners of the truth and we cannot always be jury, judge and executioner. We’re fighting for what is right. Besides, to save face his father disowned him and the case got a lot of publicity. He’ll be marked by it forever.”

 

Susan chuckled lowly. “You’re so inspirational, Merlin.” She shook her head. “I wish I had half of the clarity of thought that you have.”

 

Merlin looked up at her from where he was sitting. Susan was perched on his working desk, so she was bit high above the ground, her feet weren’t even touching it. She was wearing jeans and a French braid. Merlin loved the days when she wore her hair like this.

 

“Susan?”

 

“Yes, Merlin?” She teased him for his formal tone.

 

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” He asked calmly, looking straight into her eyes. Eyes that became round with shock, while her mouth fell open. She was looking positively astonished.

 

“You mean…” She started saying slowly, like she was afraid she was getting this wrong. “As on a date?”

 

“Yes, as on a date.” He confirmed.

 

Susan exhaled. “Wow. I was not expecting this to happen anywhere in the near future. Maybe in twenty years or something…”

 

“Susan…” He groaned, embarrassed at himself, because he deserved the teasing.

 

“Yes, Merlin.” She said with a small smile. “I would love to go on a date with you. Before the train test.”

 

“I know the perfect place.” He smiled at her at the same time he felt like something had finally clicked inside of him. Something was finally right. He really was an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is.
> 
> I hope you liked it.
> 
> Next chapter: The Date. FINALLY!
> 
> Let me know your feelings.
> 
> xoxo


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, people!
> 
> I'm sorry for the long wait, I suck sometimes... I hope you're still interested! lol
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and the support!
> 
> As usual, this chapter hasn't been beta-read, so I'm sorry if this has too many mistakes.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

She had passed. Holy fucking shit! She was one of the finalists! She still could not believe in this shit!

 

They had jumped out of a fucking airplane, just to be warned by Merlin that someone had no parachute! God, that was twisted.

 

Lucas had been the first to smile like it was Christmas and wish everybody luck and dive. He was kicked out because he appeared in the radar according to Merlin, but Alicia thought it had more to do with how irresponsible he had been.

 

With four of them left, Harrison suggested that they pair up. Diana and Peter were together, but both of them had parachutes, leaving Alicia with Harrison.

 

They were the only ones that managed to fall inside the target when Harrison opened his parachute, so there was only them now. It was between the two of them.

 

But Alicia did not trust the Kingsman very much, so when she went back to the locker room she checked her pack. She did have a parachute in apparent good conditions, so was this another one of those practical jokes that passed as tests here?

 

She had a feeling that yes, it was.

 

When she got back to the dorm, Harrison came running to her and hugged her, picking her up and spinning her around the room. “We made it!” He celebrated. “I can’t even believe it!”

 

“I know.” Alicia smiled too.

 

“I wish I could take you somewhere to celebrate.” Harrison kept talking excited. “I know it’s not over yet, but we deserve it.”

 

“You do. In fact, you deserve it so much, that we’re all sneaking out to celebrate.”

 

Both of them turned quickly, finding Galahad standing there, dressed in casual clothes.

 

“What?” Harrison asked confused. He threw a look at Alicia, like he expected her to know what was going on. Maybe this was another trick?

 

“Listen up, both of you.” Galahad said seriously, way too seriously for a guy wearing a cap at night. “We are sneaking out, cuz Lancelot is in a funk and I need to cheer her up. So I’m taking her out and you’re coming with me. You can use the distraction and I can use the help.”

 

Alicia was looking at him like he had just sprouted another head. “No way. What if it gets us in trouble?”

 

“You can always say I tricked you into coming, saying it was test.” Galahad said easily. “C’mon, guys! I need help here.”

 

Harrison and Alicia looked at each other. “I said I wanted to take you out.” He shrugged.

 

“I’m not sure I have clothes to go out.” Alicia pointed out.

 

“I’ll fix this.” Galahad guaranteed.

 

xXx

 

Harry saw Eggsy taking Alicia and Harrison out and rolled his eyes. Tomorrow they would all pay for this little slip, but for now, let the kids celebrate. They deserved it.

 

Harry was going to talk to Alicia, but it was nothing that could not wait another day. He turned off his computer and moved to his bedroom. It was still a bit early, so he would shower and go back to his office to do more paperwork.

 

He took of his watch and out it down on top of his dresser. In a rare impulse he opened the first drawer and pulled the velvet box out of it. He knew exactly what it was inside of it, but he still opened it to see the cufflinks he had had for almost a decade.

 

Harry shook his head and closed the box. Somethings were better left alone, a pair of stolen cufflinks that he should have returned years ago, were definitely one of them.

 

xXx

 

Galahad took them to a fancy nightclub called The Royals and ordered shots all around. Harrison got carried away by the agent’s excitement, but Alicia could see that Lancelot was not in the mood. Galahad could have good intentions, but he obviously had no idea on how to cheer his friend up.

 

Alicia took a look at Lancelot. The woman had something that reminded Alicia of Susan, though her benefactor seemed way more uptight. Lancelot had clearly been raised to be all proper and shit, the way she sat and sipped her martini screamed silver spoon.

 

However, there was this sadness surrounding her, she seemed upset over something, but it didn’t look like she was in a sharing mode.

 

“He must really like you.” Alicia said suddenly to Lancelot. “He’s trying really hard to make you feel better.”

 

“He is and I really appreciate the feeling.” Lancelot sighed, putting her drink down. “But his idea of getting over something and mine are completely different.”

 

“So…” Alicia bit her lower lip. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“I was dumped.” Lancelot gave a humorless laughter. “Again, for the same reason. I must suck as a girlfriend.”

 

Alicia arched a brow. She opened her mouth, then she thought better of it. She barely knew Lancelot and maybe it was not her place to say something.

 

“What?” Lancelot asked when she saw her face.

 

“I don’t wanna cross any lines.” Alicia admitted.

 

“We sneaked you two out for alcohol.” Lancelot shrugged. “What lines?”

 

Alicia grinned. “I was just thinking… You look like the kind of person that enters in any relationship head first and gives everything you have.”

 

“OK…” She agreed carefully.

 

“I just think that… Well, if a relationship fails it’s not only your fault.” Alicia said honestly. “If you give everything, the other person has to do the same. Otherwise it isn’t a relationship.”

 

Lancelot was looking at her like this was the first time she really saw Alicia.

 

“Merlin said you’re really observant.” She commented. “He wasn’t wrong.”

 

“Thank you. I guess…”

 

“Thank you, Alicia.” Lancelot gave her a weak smile. “I’m not going to say it solved my problem, but I do feel a little bit better.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Alicia smiled at her.

 

“Now, you have to stay by my side.” Lancelot asked. “Don’t let Galahad start throwing girls on my lap.”

 

Alicia arched a brow. “I’ll do my best.”

 

“Well, you’ll need to.” Lancelot’s sigh was full of fond exasperation. “He can be relentless.”

 

xXx

 

Harry could be downright cruel with his punishments. Roxy had no illusions that he and Merlin did not know they were going out last night; Eggsy might think he was that good, but he was not. She had known that if they let them slip out, something might be coming their way.

 

It had this morning. Merlin had called her bright and early to let her know they needed her presence at the HQ as soon as possible. She had stumbled out of the bed, only to get there and find out that Merlin wanted her and Eggsy to run tracks with Alicia and Harrison.

 

Very cruel, indeed.

 

Right now, though, Roxy was going on a super-secret, high priority mission: helping Susan get ready for her date with Merlin.

 

When Susan had called her that morning to explain her dilemma, Roxy could not believe it. Dear Lord, finally! She was starting to lose her faith on Merlin’s intelligence and Susan’s tenacity. Things seemed to be finally going somewhere.

 

She knocked on Susan’s door and heard Reep barking and the sound of steps.

 

The door opened and Susan’s relieved face appeared. “Thank God you’re here.” She said releasing her breath. “Come in, please. I think I’ll pass out.”

 

God, this was adorable.

 

Roxy climbed the steps after Susan and had to hold a grin at her appearance. She had her hair full of rollers and was wearing a silk robe and the cutest slippers Roxy had ever seen. She was the picture of her decade.

 

“What is the problem?” Roxy asked gently. “You dress very well, Susan. You don’t need my help.”

 

“Yes, I do!” Susan exclaimed once they reached the room. “Maybe I should wear something more modern, one of those cocktail dresses…”

 

“Susan, stop this.” Roxy touched her shoulder gently. “You have to be yourself. This is Merlin. You guys know each other for a long time. He likes you for who you are, the same way you like him for who he is. No need to change that.”

 

Susan took a deep breath. “You’re right, of course.” She took a look at all the dresses that were spread over her bed. “This one?” She pointed at a lavender lacy dress.

 

“That one is perfect.” Roxy guaranteed.

 

Susan smiled grateful to Roxy before removing her robe. The younger woman arched a brow. “I didn’t realize that the whole 50’s thing extended to your underwear.”

 

Susan froze in the process of pulling the dress. “What? Is there something wrong with it?”

 

Well, Roxy would call Susan’s panties granny panties, if her grandmother were the type to wear lacy underwear. Roxy was the kind that wore practical lingerie most of the time, unless she was planning on getting naked with someone. She always wore bikini panties, put she had to say… There was something to be said about the lacy set that Susan was wearing –because Susan was obviously the kind of woman that wore sets.

 

“Where do you get this?” Roxy asked curious. Because yes, it was vintage, but it was sexy as hell. It made Susan look like a pin-up, and Roxy had never met a straight guy that did not want to shag a pin-up.

 

She was even wearing a garter-belt.

 

“I buy in vintage stores.” Susan was starting to look dubious now. “Same place I buy dresses and skirts… Is there something wrong with them?”

 

“Do you wear girdles?” Roxy asked with a grin.

 

Susan actually blushed. “Sometimes.” She admitted. “It depends on the dress.”

 

“Corselets?”

 

“Good Lord, no. This is the best thing about the future. Corselets were awful.”

 

“What do you do when you wear jeans?” Roxy was curious now.

 

“I do own a couple of the normal ones for that reason.” Susan said primly. “But not those awful, really tiny, disgusting…” She cringed.

 

“You mean thongs?” Roxy smirked.  


“ _That_.” She sounded repulsed.

 

“Well, you look very hot like this.” Roxy said honestly. “Merlin won’t even know what it hit him.”

 

Susan got very red and spluttered for a whole minute. “That’s not… I’m not…”

 

“I’m sorry.” Roxy said quickly. “I didn’t mean to sound like…”

 

“It’s okay.” Susan sighed, sitting on the bed. “Is it weird that I’m almost a hundred and a virgin?”

 

“If you weren’t from the 50’s I would say it’s a bit.” Roxy admitted. “But you’re from a different time. Girls had to wait back then.”

 

“Do you think that Merlin expects…” Susan bit her lower lip.

 

“Merlin likes you a lot, Susan. He’s not a boy, he’s a gentleman. He won’t expect anything from you.”

 

“This is so complicated.” Susan groaned. “In my time it was so much easier.”

 

“Yes, but in your time you wouldn’t get to snog Merlin by the end of the night.” Roxy pointed out.

 

“Oh yes…” Susan flushed. “There’s that…”

 

They shared a smile, then Susan’s face softened. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong with you now?” She prompted gently.

 

“Is it that obvious?” Roxy sighed.

 

“Just because I know you and care about you.” Susan said, then she patted the spot on the bed next to her. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Jill broke up with me.” She admitted sitting. “Or I broke up with her, I’m not sure which is which.”

 

“What? Why? You’ve been together for one year!” Susan was beyond shocked. They were getting along so well.

 

“She’s been complaining for a while about all the traveling.” Roxy admitted, twisting her fingers. “Because of the recruits I’ve been spending even more time at the HQ, then I was shot and had to hide for a while, because I couldn’t explain it to her… Things piled up recently.”

 

“Then what?”  Susan asked gently.

 

“She sent me a message a couple of days ago, saying she wanted to talk. She said that maybe we should start seeing other people, having a more open relationship.”

 

“What?” Susan’s mouth was hanging open.

 

“I told her I don’t believe in open relationships and she either wanted to be with me or not.” Roxy closed her eyes and sighed. “She said ‘okay, if that’s what you want’. Her Facebook says she is single now.”

 

“Roxy, I’m so sorry.” Susan threw her arm over Roxy’s shoulder and pulled her closer. “You didn’t deserve something like that.”

 

“Alicia told me I give too much on my relationships.” She told the other woman.

 

“She’s not wrong.” Susan indicated gently. “You are an amazingly generous person, Roxy, what makes you a great friend and lover, but you give too much without expecting anything in return. This is hardly fair.”

 

“You guys give me things in return.” She grumbled.

 

“We do, and we love you.” Susan squeezed her a bit. “But some people are good at taking and not really good at giving back. Trust has to be earned. I’m not saying close yourself to other people, I’m just saying be more careful.”

 

“I don’t know if I can do that.” Roxy admitted.

 

“You’re not the one with a flaw, Roxy. Being selfless is a beautiful quality, unfortunately most people will take advantage of that. Again, it’s not your fault, it’s theirs.”

 

“God, you’re good.” Roxy groaned, dropping her forehead on Susan’s shoulder.

 

“You’re pretty good too.” Susan kissed her temple. “Now come! I need to finish getting ready and you have to tell me what you and Eggsy did to my candidate yesterday.”

 

“Eggsy should be ashamed of himself. I’m pretty sure he admitted to having a crush on Alicia, it was terrible.”

 

Susan rolled her eyes. “Eggsy has a ‘crush’ on a bunch of people, including you, me and possibly Harry. Hope she doesn’t take it seriously.”

 

Roxy was laughing too hard to reply to that.

 

xXx

 

Even in Merlin wildest speculations –and he had spent the whole previous night speculating –he could never have guessed how well this was going.

 

He had made a list of all the bad things that could happen: She could change her mind about going, the food might be terrible, the waiter could spill wine one her dress, a terrorist organization could attack London.

 

Now, walking her back home, he felt a bit like an idiot.

 

Susan had been ready when he rang her bell. She looked beautiful, the food tasted amazing, the waiter was polite and there were no terrorist attacks.

 

He had feared it would be awkward, that they would spend long periods of time in silence, that things would –somehow –be different. They weren’t. She smiled at him when he picked her up, thanked him for the flowers and accepted his arm while they walked.

 

They talked during dinner and some moments felt a bit awkward, but nothing out of the ordinary. They exchanged stories –his about the Kingsman, hers about Narnia –and laughed.

 

He had to admit he thought it was cute when she would look at him and blush for absolutely no reason, but at the same time was the one that grabbed his hand when they left the bistro.

 

They walked around Piccadilly Circus –Susan’s choice –looking at the Christmas decoration, while she pressed against him, “because of the cold wind”. Merlin was starting to think he had been played. He didn’t mind it at all.

 

Most stores were open until late because of Christmas and Susan dragged him to most of them, including Hamleys, where she proceeded to tease him about buying him something Star Wars related. The minx.

                                    

Once they took a cab back to her place, she laid her head down on his shoulder and entwined her fingers with his. He rested his chin on top of her head and felt like a bigger idiot for wasting so much time when they could have been like this a long time ago.

 

The cab stopped on her street and they climbed out. Now Merlin could admit that was a tiny bit uncertain.

 

He had thought for a long moment what should he do at the end of their date. Susan was a lady from another time, she might not even be inclined to give him a goodnight kiss. And he was okay with that, truly. He wanted things to go their way with her, no pressure, no unrealistic expectations. Susan could have whatever she wanted from this relationship.

 

Nobody died from a bit of… Frustration. He would know.

 

They stopped in front of her door. “Do you want to come in?”

 

Right, he was a gentleman, but there was no need to push things. “Maybe next time.” He told her.

 

Susan’s grin showed that she knew exactly what he meant by that. “I had a lovely night, Merlin.”

 

“Does this mean we can do it again soon?” He said picking her right hand between both of his.

 

“Yes.” She said, her eyes shining while she looked at him. “Right after the last test would be great.”

 

Merlin chuckled and dropped a kiss to her hand. “Your wish is my command.”

 

She blushed a bit again, then opened her mouth to say something and seemed to change her mind. “Good night, Merlin.”

 

“Good night, Susan.” He waited for her to move, but as she didn’t he touched her face gently with his hand. He approached her slowly, making very clear what were his intentions and leaving her plenty of time to stop him.

 

She didn’t and their lips touched. The first time she kissed him it had been in such a rush he barely had time to enjoy it. Now it was slow and he could really appreciate the softness of her lips and her perfume.

 

They separated for a second and Merlin took one look at her glazed eyes and pink cheeks and felt his heart warm at the sight of her. Susan took one look at him, bit her lower lip and threw her arms around his neck.

 

This time, when they kissed it was all different. His hands went around her waist and he pulled her close. Susan opened her mouth to him and he lost a bit of his control. He had been careful with her all night long, but hearing her sigh between kisses was killing him.

 

Merlin pushed Susan against the door and heard her moan. His lips traveled to her jaw and that spot just below her ear. She shivered in his arms and he went back to her mouth.

 

Then Reep barked from somewhere behind the door. They separated slowly and he dropped another kiss on her lips.

 

“I feel like my dad just called me to go inside.” She smiled breathless.

 

Merlin chuckled. “Good night, Susan.” He gave her another peck.

 

“Good night, Merlin.” She gave him the sunniest smile he had ever seen and went inside.

 

Merlin started walking away, but he could feel the huge smile almost splitting his face. That woman…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!! hahahaha
> 
> I hope you enjoyed their date as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Susan's dress for this date is on my Pinterest board! And so are the pictures of her underwear! lol
> 
> Let me know your feelings!
> 
> xoxo


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> I'm not going to lie... I'm here because I watched Kingsman 2 yesterday and I pissed as hell.
> 
> WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT????
> 
> I'm not going to rant and give spoilers here. I'll just say that I didn't like it and I'll pretend I never saw it... lol I'll live forever in this world here.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this post!

Alicia had just finished running tracks and Merlin had dismissed them, when she saw Susan walking on the garden with a dog by her side. She had seen the other woman with Reep in very few occasions, but the dog obviously adored her.

 

Alicia had some free time before having to retire, so she decided to approach Susan. There was nothing that forbade her of doing that.

 

Alicia called Roger to her side and she was getting closer when Susan raised her arm and a freaking coal tit –and yes, she knew the name of the bird, because Caradoc made them catalogue them all, God knows why –came flying and settled on her finger. “Holy crap, what are you?” She said before she could stop herself. “A freaking Disney princess? Are you going to start singing and the birds will dance?”

 

Susan chuckled before turning to her, the bird still sitting on her finger. “If I start singing this bird will fly for his life.” She informed. The woman watched Reep and Roger sniff curiously at each other, before smiling approvingly. “How was training today?” Susan asked politely.

 

“Normal.” Alicia shrugged. “Is it almost over?”

 

“I couldn’t tell you.” Susan said dismissively. “Merlin is the one that decides everything about the training.”

 

Alicia opened her mouth to ask if they were dating already, but decided not to cross that line. Not today.

 

“It’s almost Christmas.” She said instead.

 

“Yes, it is.” Susan moved her hand and the little bird flew. “Would you like to spend it with your family?”

 

“Can I?” Alicia asked hopefully.

 

“I’ll see what I can do.” Susan promised. “You’re doing great, Alicia. I hope you’re proud of yourself now.”

 

“You know what? I am.”

 

XxX

 

Harrison and Alicia were sitting in their beds talking when Merlin came in, carrying envelopes in his hand. “At ease.” He said, when they made to get up. “Sorry, but you’re not done for the day.”

 

He offered the envelopes to both recruits. Alicia opened and found an invitation for a party and a picture of a blonde girl. “Who is Barbie?”

 

“She’s your target.” Merlin said. “Your mission is to use your NLP training to… Well, know her intimately.”

 

Alicia had to wonder how Merlin could say something like that to them with a straight face. She turned to Harrison to see he carried the exact same picture as her.

 

“This will be interesting.” He said laughing.

 

“Yes, it will.”

 

XxX

 

“That’s the same girl we had!” Eggsy observed shocked.

 

“She’s my niece.” Gareth informed. “Sophie has fun helping with the tests.”

 

“She helps other times?” Roxy asked surprised.

 

“Well, this is only the second selection she participates, but sometimes we make her meet other staff members to make sure they are not too talkative in front of a beautiful woman.” Gareth explained.

 

“This will be fun.” Eggsy decided. “I can barely wait to see some other sucker tied to the train tracks.”

 

Susan was quietly watching from the corner, eyes not focusing in anything in particular.

 

“Everything okay?” Caradoc asked stopping by her side.

 

“Yes.” She assured quickly, looking at him. “It’s just… Well, it’ll all be over in roughly 24 hours.”

 

“You’re very confident she will pass this test.” Caradoc observed.

 

“Yes, but I’m not confident about the last one.” Susan admitted.

 

“Only time will say.” He offered gently.

 

“Well, isn’t that the truth…”

 

XxX

 

Alicia let Harrison approach the target – lady Sophie –first. He was charming and confident, but the idea of the importance of the task was making him a bit pushy. Harrison knew that this might be some kind of decisive score, so he was a bit nervous.

 

Alicia just waited, sipping on her champagne, while he talked to Sophie. When he turned to order a drink, she grabbed the girl’s hand and pulled her away, weaving through the dance floor.

 

“Sorry for being so forward.” Alicia said against her ear, once they stopped in a corner. “But you looked like you needed rescuing.”

 

“Yes, thanks!” Sophie laughed a bit. “He was nice and all, but…”

 

“It’s okay.” Alicia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Wanna dance?”

 

“Lady Sophie.” A guy came out of fucking nowhere, obviously a waiter in this place. “There’s a call for you.”

 

“I’ll be right back.” Sophie turned to Alicia, cheeks blushed, then left.

 

“Thanks for the interruption, mate.” Alicia said sarcastically. She leaned against the wall, because she was feeling a bit dizzy suddenly.

 

She then realized that her vision was blurry and turned her eyes to the man in front of her. He looked scary right now. “Don’t fight it. It’s worse, trust me.”

 

XxX

 

Alicia didn’t come back to consciousness slowly. One minute she was sleeping, the next she was completely awake. The first thing she thought was that man had drugged her, the second was “please, don’t let it be because he will rape me”.

 

She moved her arms, just to figure out that she was tied to… Fucking train tracks. Lord, this was bad.

 

“Alicia…” His voice came from somewhere on her right and she turned to look. He was carrying a knife. “You are in a tight spot, but you can get out of it very easily. You just have to tell me two things: who the fuck are the Kingsman and who is their leader now?”

 

Alicia swallowed dryly, because her mouth felt like a rat had died there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

A light came from one of the sides of the tunnel, but Alicia had been feeling the train vibrations in the track way before that, she knew it was coming.

 

“Come on, darling. I already had to kill your little friend, because he was saying the same bullshit. Do you wanna die? Are these people worth dying for?”

 

The light was coming closer, but Alicia could barely hear the sounds of the train, since her heart was beating so loudly. She struggled against the ropes that tied her, but nothing happened, she was truly stuck.

 

“Do you want to die, little girl?” He taunted.

 

Fuck no, she didn’t, but she was not a little girl and whatever the fuck happened now she would prove it. They gave her a chance to be something more and she knew –now –that she deserved it.

 

“Fuck you.” She told the man, before closing her eyes.

 

The noise became unbearable. She just hoped it wouldn’t hurt a lot and that she would die instantly. Well, there was no other option, right? Yes, it would probably be fast.

 

But then the pain never came and suddenly the noise was getting further away. She opened her eyes scared, to see that she was on some kind of hole and Susan was the one standing outside, a knife on her hand. “Congratulations.” She said calmly, with that lady-like way of hers. “You passed.”

 

“You’re a bunch of fucking pricks.” Alicia gasped, her heart still beating loudly.

 

“I know, trust me.” Susan came and cut the ropes that held her captive.

 

“Where’s Harrison?” Alicia asked suddenly.

 

Susan sighed, before shaking her head. “He didn’t pass.”

 

“What? No, he would never betray the agency.” Alicia defended instantly.

 

“He didn’t answer Richie questions.” Susan explained. “But he told him about the shop. It was a risky play to buy time, but it’s not acceptable. The shop keeps a lot things for us and there are people there that are easier to harm and capture. Harrison considered them a fair trade, we don’t.”

 

“So, that means…” Alicia started carefully.

 

“It means you got 24 hours with me and I’m taking you to Germany for Christmas shopping.” Susan said. “One way or another you’ll be home for Christmas.”

 

“Okay…” Alicia wasn’t sure she understood.

 

“There’s one last test, Alicia.” Susan explained. “Tomorrow. Today, we’re going to get some pictures so your family will be convinced you’re studying in Germany.”

 

Alicia sighed. “I can do that.”

 

XxX

 

Susan took Alicia to a small town close to Munich that had a college. The girl had been amazed at the private jet and confided on Susan that this was the first time she left the country since her dad died.

 

They took some pictures around the campus then went to the city, so Alicia could buy presents for her family. At first, she didn’t want to accept money from Susan, but the other woman explained to her it was some kind of stipend provided by the Kingsman to her. It was not exactly a lie, Susan was a Kingsman and she was the one providing the stipend.

 

She was happy to see Alicia relaxing a bit and smiling. The girl vowed to learn German as soon as possible and Susan believed that she would. Alicia was an intelligent young woman, great things were waiting for her.

 

Susan hoped those things would be in the agency, but it might not be.

 

Once they were back Alicia headed back to her dorm to change clothes and grab Roger, so she could talk to Arthur. It was time for the final test.

 

As soon as she reached the HQ she went to see Merlin. He had probably not eaten all that much the whole day, so she went by the kitchen and grabbed something for him and warm tea.

 

He was curved over his desk, pouring over some kind of equipment. Athena got up as soon as Susan opened the door and ran to her. “Hello, beautiful.” Susan crooned to the dog. She could not pet her now, but she would as soon as she put the tray down.

 

Merlin was such a sap, keeping the dog with him because Philip had left her behind. She was pleased but not surprised to see how well he cared for her.

 

“Susan.” He turned to her with a grin. “How can I help you?”

 

“Eating.” She said coming closer and leaving the plate and the mug close to him, before petting Athena. “Have you slept recently?”

 

Merlin sighed. “Define ‘recently’.” He said carefully, turning his chair so he could look at her.

 

“Merlin, as soon as this is done, you’re going to sleep.” Susan all but ordered him. “Otherwise I fear you might fall asleep while we are out.”

 

“I’d never fall sleep in your company, Susan.” He promised grabbing her hand gently.

 

“You…” She sputtered. “Don’t say things like that.” She could feel herself blushing. “And go to sleep anyway. I like you better when you’re well rested, well fed and well cared for.”

 

“Then lucky me you care for me.” He dropped a kiss to her knuckles.

 

“Oh Merlin dearest…” She inclined in his direction like she intended to tell him a secret. “I care a whole lot more than you figure.” Taking advantage of his surprise she dropped a short kiss to his lips. “See you later.”

 

Merlin was still smiling when she left.

 

XxX

 

Alicia put back the God awful Kingsman uniform –she was happy this was getting close to an end so she wouldn’t have to wear it anymore –and went to talk to Arthur.

 

The last time the man called her to talk was to tell her about Michael. He had explained to her the solution they found and then asked her with she wanted them to kill him.

 

Alicia thought very hard about that. The first answer was “of course” and she was angry that he was getting out on drug charges, but the truth was that Harry was –unfortunately –right: they would never manage to get him for what he did to her. Did she want them to kill him?

 

The more she thought about it the less she wanted it. It surprised her a bit, that she was willing to work for a shady organization, but not willing to kill someone that hurt her. Alicia reflected, later that same day, that this could become a slippery slope. Would she become the kind of person that took everything on her own hands? Would she become jury, judge and executioner every time someone did something against her?

 

She decided not to find out that day. Arthur promised they would keep an eye and a leash on Michael. For now, this was good enough for her.

 

One day… Well, she would cross that bridge if she ever needed it.

 

Alicia stopped by Arthur’s door and scratched Roger’s head before knocking.

 

“Come in.” Arthur’s voice called.

 

She entered the room. Arthur was sitting on an armchair and Merlin was standing by him, a very serious look on his face. “Take a seat, Alicia.”

 

She did, looking from one to another. Merlin wasn’t looking at her and Arthur seemed very intimidating at the moment. “How have you been?” He asked cordially.

 

“Well.” She replied carefully, as she made sure that Roger was by her side.

 

She looked around expecting Susan to be there –hoping that she was –but there were only the two men.

 

“Congratulations on being the last candidate.” Arthur went on undisturbed.

 

“Thank you, sir.” There was something coming up. She was sure of it.

 

“One last test and you will be part of this agency.” He went on, picking a gun that had been lying on a table by him. He offered it to her and waited until she picked it up. “This is real ammunition.” He warned. “Now shoot the dog.” Arthur indicated Roger with his head.

 

“Why?” Alicia arched a brow.

 

“I beg your pardon?” Arthur looked shocked.

 

“What’s the meaning of this? This is obviously a test, but what is the right answer here?” She asked seriously, holding the gun carefully in her hand. “I shoot the dog and I’ll be a well-trained monkey that follows every single order pushed down my throat and not really loyal, since Roger has been a good friend all this time. Now, if I don’t shoot, I don’t know how to follow orders, I’m rebellious, I don’t have the balls…” She shrugged, like she didn’t really care what option it would be. “So how can a test so unreliable mean so much?”

 

Merlin was pressing his lips together and Alicia wasn’t sure if it was because he was trying not to laugh or to keep calm. Arthur had an arched brow and a very unamused expression. “Are you going to shoot the dog or not?” He demanded.

 

Alicia cocked the gun in an effective movement and pointed at Roger before firing. The dog yawned and gave up on sitting in favor of rolling belly up. Alicia gave Arthur the gun back, but he needed a few seconds to compose himself before accepting it.

 

“How…”

 

“She knew it was a blank.” Merlin cut Arthur.

 

“But how?” Arthur wanted to know.

 

“All your big tests so far have been nothing but practical jokes.” She explained. “This one was bound to be too.”

 

“There’s no way you could be sure of that.” Arthur pointed out.

 

“Yes, I can.” She insisted, “Mostly because Lancelot and Galahad are new agents and have their dogs.”

 

Merlin finally smiled, like a proud teacher. “I told you she was very observant.”

 

“And I told you all this test was stupid and pointless.” Susan called form the doorway, coming inside the room. “I guess we have a new Kingsman.” She arched a brow.

 

“Congratulations, Gawain, welcome to the Kingsman.” Arthur offered his hand and Alicia shook it.

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

“We can do the boring stuff later.” Susan rolled her eyes, pulling Alicia along by the arm. “Now I’m taking Gawain to celebrate her success taking out a terrorist cell.” She waved at the men and Alicia whistled to Roger to follow them.

 

As soon as the door closed Arthur looked at Merlin. “No more ‘shoot the dog’?”

 

“Absolutely.” Merlin agreed immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Alicia is the new Kingsman!
> 
> And Susan and Merlin are way too cute to handle! lol
> 
> This part is almost over (just another 4 chapters) then we'll have the third (I've already started it) and last part of the Gentle Lady arch.
> 
> I hope you'll still be with me by then!
> 
> Let me know your feelings!


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Yes, I am back with a new one, already. Crazy, hm?
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one as well!

“That was intense.” Alicia commented, trying to catch her breath.

 

“That’s one way of putting it.” Susan agreed drinking from her bottle of water.

 

Alicia took a look at the woman that had brought her into this. She thought for a long time that Susan was just a spoiled princess and a bitch. Of course, as soon as the training started the whole “princess” thing went down the drain. Susan could not be spoiled and thrive with the Kingsman.

 

The bitch thing went on for longer. Susan was very standoffish with her and sometimes Alicia thought that Susan had only chosen her to provoke the others.

 

Alicia remembered a day she saw the other woman laughing with Caradoc and thought she must’ve been dreaming. Susan, to her, seemed incapable of emotions.

 

However, the more she observed Susan the more she thought that something wasn’t really right. Lancelot and Galahad adored her, Merlin was obviously in love with her and all the others seemed to like and respect her a great deal.

 

Alicia started to think that the whole bitch thing was a façade. She just didn’t know why. Now they were going back after exploding a whole base full of terrorists and Susan was smiling.

 

“So, you aren’t a bitch.” Alicia said suddenly.

 

“I guess it depends on whom you ask.” Susan shrugged a small smile on her face.

 

“Yes, possibly, but you aren’t one all the time.” Alicia arched a brow. “At least to most people, except for me.”

 

“You caught me.” Susan grinned. “I was being purposely bitchy to you.”

 

“Why?” Alicia asked confused.

 

“When Harry –that’s Arthur’s real name –brought Eggsy –Galahad –in, he all but adopted him.” Susan started. “I’m not saying it was wrong of him, but it made Eggsy very loyal to him, too concerned about him, about making him proud. I didn’t want this. I wanted you to do this for yourself, to make yourself proud. I didn’t want to feel like you owned me anything, that you had to do this for yourself. That way, in case you failed, you wouldn’t have to worry about disappointing me.”

 

Alicia digested that for a second.

 

“But I’ve never thought you would fail, Alicia.” Susan said firmly. “I need you to understand that I chose you because I believed in you. I’m very proud of you, but I’m not exactly surprised at your success.”

 

“You have been sending money to my mom.” Alicia guessed.

 

“Well, it was only fair. All the money I sent was money I got from betting on you.” Susan grinned again. “Actually, this afternoon just got me a very nice amount.”

 

Alicia looked at her shocked. “You were betting on us?”

 

“Since day one.” Susan said unrepentant. “You were always my favorite and I loved seeing you steamrolling all the other candidates.”

 

“This is unbelievable.” Alicia shook her head.

 

“Welcome to the Kingsman.”

 

XxX

 

When they arrived back at the HQ all the other agents were there, even the ones that Susan rarely saw, like Bedivere and Cador, who were a bit older than Harry himself.

 

The Kingsman loved their traditions, so Susan stood there watching Harry make a small speech and officially welcome Alicia into the agency. The agents congratulated her, with the exception of Dagonet, who still had a hard time even looking at her, because he still felt guilty.

 

By the time things had winded down it was well past nine o’clock.

 

“Should we get going?” Merlin asked stopping by Susan’s side.

 

“Oh, I thought we might not even go tonight.” She admitted.

 

“Are you tired?” He asked. “Would you rather rest?”

 

“One of these days, Merlin dearest, you’ll believe when I say I rather spend time with you than doing a whole lot of other things.” Susan whispered to him as if it was a secret.

 

“One of these days you might as well drive me insane saying things like that.” He whispered back.

 

“That will be the day.” She smiled cheekily. “Where are you taking me?”

 

“It’s a surprise, but I hope you can dance in these shoes.”

 

XxX

 

He really took her to dance. Susan wanted to kiss him for it. Well, she wanted to kiss him for many reasons, this one was just another of them.

 

The place was a small restaurant that had a dancefloor and a lovely jazz band. They ate, talked, danced and Susan wished the night would never end.

 

As the cab drove them to her house, with Susan resting her head on Merlin’s shoulder again, she considered what she should do. She didn’t want to move too fast, but on the other hand, nothing could be considered really fast, taking into account how long it took them to even get here.

 

She had a lot of feelings for Merlin, not all of them pure. She might be from another time but she wasn’t stupid and Merlin was yummy, as previously discussed.

 

She knew what happened between couples, –again, not stupid –had felt it briefly with Cillian, even if it felt wrong in the end. When she thought about Merlin it was completely different. Her attraction to him was not only related at how good he looked, it had a lot to do with how safe she felt when he was close, at how he treated her.

 

She was head over heels in love with him.

 

It wasn’t some big revelation. God knew they had been heading that way for a long time. She didn’t know for sure how he felt, but she knew that he would not toy with her. Merlin might not be in love with her, but he liked her a lot. She expected that in time this could be so much more.

 

She just didn’t want to get too ahead of herself.

 

There was this tiny reckless part of her that wanted to know how it would be, that wanted to throw caution away and just… But she couldn’t even properly think about it.

 

This was so complicated.

 

The car stopped in front of her house and they stepped out, just like the other night. And just like then, they were on front of her door and Susan was thanking him for the lovely night.

 

“We’ll have a Christmas dinner at Percival, like we have most years.” Merlin informed her. “Eggsy will be spending it with his family, but you should come.”

 

“I will.” She promised. “I have yet to meet his wife.”

 

“Edith?” Merlin smirked. “She’s a remarkable woman. I’m sure you’ll get along.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked.

 

“Yes.” He inclined and dropped a kiss to her lips. “Good night, Susan.”

 

“Is this what you call a ‘good night kiss’, Merlin?” She sassed him.

 

Merlin smirked and pulled her close to show what it really was a ‘good night kiss’. Susan melted all over again.

 

XxX

 

“Hey, Susan.”

 

“Hello, Alicia.” Susan smiled at the younger woman. “Are you ready to go to your new home?”

 

“Yes. I still can’t believe that you guys gave me a job and an apartment.” Alicia sighed.

 

“Well, it’s easier this way, more practical.” Susan explained. “Nothing against your old neighborhood, but it’s out of way, too far.”

 

“Hey, not my fault you guys hide in the country.” Alicia rolled her eyes.

 

“Well, they do call us a secret agency for a reason.” Susan said sarcastically.

 

“I didn’t come here to hear your sarcasm.” Alicia informed. “I came with an invitation.”

 

“Oh?” Susan cocked her head, curious.

 

“I know you’ll go to Percival’s Christmas party, but would you like to come to my house for a bit before?” Alicia asked, a bit nervous. “My mom would like to see you and…”

 

“Alicia.” Susan cut gently. “I’d love to go. What time should I be there?”

 

“Really?” Alicia asked shocked.

 

“Yes, your mother is an amazing woman. She also promised to bake me a pie.” Susan said with a small smile.

 

Alicia let out a relieved laugh. “She’s a great cook.” She said at last.

 

“I bet she is.”

 

XxX

 

Tina cried when she saw Alicia was back. They made her return for Christmas a surprise and the whole family was delighted to see her.

 

Alicia’s family had organized a Christmas celebration with some of the neighbors, so it was actually a big party with many people. It was easy to see they were all close friends and it all seemed so beautiful and cozy.

 

Tina hugged Susan and thanked her once again for taking care of her little girl, she also thanked her for the gifts.

 

Susan sat and observed Alicia in her home, feeling happy for choosing such a good candidate, someone kind and compassionate, yet strong and decided. Alicia would be a great agent, but more than that, she would be a great woman.

 

Susan excused herself after a while, she had to go to Percival’s, but she also felt like she was leaving some people uncomfortable. Besides Tina was going out of her way to make her feel at home, when she should be cuddling the hell out of her daughter.

 

“I’ll see you after New Year.” Susan informed Alicia.

 

“New Year?” The girl asked confused.

 

“You earned a couple of days off to enjoy your family.” Susan explained kindly. “Happy Holidays, Alicia.”

 

“Shit.” Alicia sighed. “How am I supposed to get used to nice you?”

 

Susa chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

 

“Oh, screw this.” Alicia declared before hugging Susan. “Thank you for picking me.”

 

Susan hugged her back. “You’re more than welcome.”

 

She left Alicia to her family’s celebration and got a cab to Percival’s home. It was exactly what she would expect of a man of his class.

 

Everybody else was there when she arrived and Edith, Percival’s wife, came to welcome her at the door. Merlin was right: she liked the woman.

 

There were some people from Roxy’s family there –Susan met her parents and younger brother –but mostly there were Kingsman there.

 

“Harry, merry Christmas.” She hugged the man.

 

“Susan.” He beamed at her like a proud father. “You look lovely. How is Alicia?”

 

“Happy to be closer to her family again. She sends her love.”

 

“I have to say…” Harry sighed. “I’m happy this whole selection business is done. Please, don’t die in the next two years or so. I don’t want to have to go through this again.”

 

“I’ll do my best.” She promised solemnly.

 

Harry chuckled. “Merlin is here and looking for you.” He informed, a twinkle in his eyes.

 

Susan rolled her eyes but went searching for Merlin and found him talking to Bors, that quickly excused himself as soon as he saw her coming.

 

“We need to let them know we are dating.” She informed Merlin. “They’re not even been subtle anymore.”

 

“They gave up subtly over a year ago.” Merlin told her a bit dryly. “Gareth was calling me ‘idiot’ at least once a day.”

 

Susan giggled. “Think about it as a sign of how much they care about us.” She offered.

 

“I do.” He smiled warmly at her. “I have a present for you.”

 

“I was actually going to say the exact same thing to you. Lunch tomorrow so we can exchange them?”

 

“Sounds perfect.”

 

They smiled at each other, but were interrupted by Caradoc’s shouting “Mistletoe.”

 

Susan saw everybody turn at them at the exact same time. It was kind of funny. She looked up and sure enough they were standing directly below a mistletoe. The whole room as looking at them expectantly, with the exception of Roxy, who seemed to be trying –and failing -to hold back a smug smile.

 

“If we must...” Susan said theatrically, letting out a long suffering sigh.

 

“It’s tradition, after all.” Merlin agreed, sounding very practical.

 

Susan let Merlin pull her close, stood on her tiptoes and inclined her head behind so he could kiss her. She wondered if she would ever stop feeling this way when he kissed her. She hoped not.

 

They got a bit lost in each other and when they finally remembered they had an audience, they separated briefly.

 

“Oh yes. We forgot to say. We’re dating.” Susan informed the others.

 

“I already knew it!” Roxy shouted. “I’ve been saving this for days!”

 

Harry still looked very shocked. Gareth was giving money to Bors, complaining about thinking it would take a bit more.

 

“You’re the cutest couple ever.” Caradoc decided.

 

“Cute?” Merlin arched a brow.

 

“Well, Susan is cute, you’re grumpy.” Caradoc amended.

 

“I regret this a bit.” Susan said softly. “They’ll be impossible now.”

 

“They always are.” Merlin remembered her. “And I like the fact that now everybody knows we’re together.” He finished picking her hand and kissing her knuckles.

 

“Oh dear Lord, you made Merlin cute!” Caradoc proclaimed.

 

They were quite the family…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your feelings!
> 
> Next chapter is the last one of "Castles", then I'll begin part 3; the final piece.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...
> 
> This is the last one! OMG!!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support and love during this second part! I hope you enjoy the end!

“Gotta go, love.” Eggsy informed, buttoning his shirt.

 

Elise took a drag from her cigarette. “Get back to that fag job of yours?” She asked.

 

“Oy, don’t be bitchy, Lise.” Eggsy warned. “And it isn’t a fag job.”

 

“Whatever.” Elise rolled her eyes. “How’s your ma? I haven’t seen her or your sister since they left.”

 

“All’s good.” Eggsy put his watch back. “Mom’s working, Daisy’s in a good daycare.”

 

“Who’d have thought, that from all of us, you’d be the one to become an honest citizen.” Elise teased.

 

“Not me.” Eggsy said honestly, sitting by the girl on the bed.

 

He had grown up with Elise, just like Ryan and Jamal, but his friendship with her was way different than the one with the other guys.

 

“Here.” He offered her a couple of pounds to her.

 

“Wow, Unwin. Way to make a girl feel like a hooker.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“That ain’t it and you know.” Eggsy said seriously. “Your brother needs his medicines and I know your ma is back to drinking. I’m offering as a friend, Lise.” He offered again.

 

“Shit.” Elise huffed, but took the money. “Thanks.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” Eggsy dropped a kiss on her forehead before getting up.

 

“I’m dying to see the day a girl puts a leash on you, Eggsy.” Elise called from the bed. “You’re a great friend, a fantastic lay, but I’d pay to see you as a boyfriend.”

 

Eggsy looked over his shoulder and threw Elise a smile. “It ain’t happening, Lise. There’s no girl in this world that would put a leash on me.”

 

Elise smirked as the door closed. “Famous last words.”

 

XxX

 

Harry was sitting in his home office, eyes fixed on the half empty brandy glass on his table. Last year had been crazy and he was happy they had a brand new one to worry about now. He sure as fuck expected no more deaths.

 

He felt very proud of the turn the agency was taking, how they were making things different now. Arthur’s betrayal had left a stain in all the agents and the aftermath of the V-Day had been cruel to all of them.

 

Of course, it hadn’t been all that easy for him as well, since he was considered dead and all of that. God bless Merlin and Eggsy for not giving up on him. They had found him on a hospital bed in Kentucky.

 

Gareth had once said that the Kingsman’s doctors could bring a man back from the dead and Harry had not believed him. Now he was happy the other man had said so. He hadn’t been dead, but he had been pretty close to that.

 

But now he could forget that, like had had forgotten many things. Well, nobody took a bullet to the head and left completely unscathed. His left hand sometimes shook a bit too much –luckily he was right handed –and he had forgotten some major things. Most of them were old memories –like the name of his childhood dog or the school he went to as a boy –but some of them not really. He could not remember his last test before joining the Kingsman, could not remember Dagonet’s and Caradoc’s real names and he could not remember seeing Roxy or Gareth for the first time.

 

None of these memories ever came back, but he never told anyone. He suspected that Merlin knew somehow, but then again the man seemed to know mostly everything that went on in the HQ.

 

There was one more thing that he had forgotten: not a name or a face, but a moment. One moment lost in time, a memory he knew it was precious, but that he could not have back. A memory so personal he had never shared not even with Merlin, his oldest friend.

 

He could remember the name and the face, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen either.

 

XxX

 

“I have something for you.” Merlin told Susan as soon as she came into his office.

 

“What?” She asked curious.

 

“Take a seat. I’ll get it for you.”

 

He could see her eyes full of curiosity, but she did as told and went to his table. Merlin stopped mid-way to tell her not to sit on top of his table –because she had the annoying habit of doing just that –but he was a bit too late. When he turned she was pushing herself up and the movement made her skirt go up. Not too much, just enough to show the garter belt holding her stockings.

 

Merlin turned around immediately, like he hadn’t seen a thing. He knew Susan wore garters. Actually he knew what every single one of the agents wore, because he had seen most of them in some state of undress at some point in time. But that was before. Now…

 

Now he was trying to be a gentleman and remember she was from a different time, with other expectations.

 

It wasn’t that easy.

 

“I saw some footage of your friend Captain Rogers.” He stated, picking a briefcase.

 

“Are you jealous of Steve?” She said with a giggle.

 

“No.” He said quickly. Too quickly.

 

“That’s cute, Merlin.” Susan teased.

 

“Anyway…” He cleared his throat and came back to where she was and put the case on the table. “One of his friends had an interesting ability and it made me think of you.”

 

Susan looked at him full of curiosity, but she waited for him to tell she could open the case. When he nodded at her, Susan quickly opened the latch and found… “Is this a bow?”

 

“Custom made.” He informed. “It has explosive arrows, one that works like a hook and…”

 

Susan pulled him by the collar of his sweater and kissed him. “I loved it.” She said against his lips.

 

“I’m glad to know.” He murmured before kissing her again, his hands going to her waist.

 

“Oh dear… You two are adorable.”

 

They separated in time to see Caradoc and Bors looking at them with smile on their faces.

 

Merlin sighed. “Can I help?”

 

“You do remember we were supposed to come here for gear for the next mission, right?” Bors arched a brow.

 

No, he didn’t, but he was not saying that aloud.

 

Susan chuckled, before getting off the table. “Have fun working, boys.” She grabbed the case. “I loved it, Merlin. You spoil me.”

 

“I try my best.” He smiled warmly at her.

 

When she left he turned his eyes to Bors and Caradoc that were looking at him like he was a box full of kittens. “Shut up.”

 

XxX

 

Roxy finished wrapping her hand before putting her gloves. She had a date with that punching bag she would hate to miss.

 

Apparently when Jill meant an ‘open relationship’ she meant that she already had someone in sight. And now that Roxy wasn't there anymore she had pulled this person to fill the space, because she sure as fuck was dating someone new.

 

Roxy knew better than to go looking at an ex’s Facebook, but she did it anyway. Lovely way to begin her year.

 

“What did this punching bag do to you?”

 

Roxy pulled her hair back from her face and looked at Alicia. She was dressed like she came here to work out –well, it was the gym after all.

 

“She called my mom a whore.” Roxy offered weakly.

 

Alicia huffed. “You look like you need to hit something that hits back.” She said coming closer. “I’ll wrap my hand and you can make me kiss the floor.”

 

“You don’t need to do this for me.” Roxy protested.

 

“Well, I need to practice anyway and this is better than running.” Alicia brushed off her concern.

 

Normally Roxy would say no, but she felt frustrated and restless, so she would take the other woman on her offer and hope not to hurt her too much.

 

Alicia came back with gloves and they started circling each other. She had gotten a lot better after the first months, but Roxy was very good at what she did.

 

They both took some hits –some of Alicia’s were a bit of luck –before Roxy got a bit too violent and took the other woman down with a bit more force than necessary.

 

“Fuck krav maga.” Alicia groaned from her place on the floor, where Roxy still had her locked in a chokehold.

 

“Wanna try?” Roxy offered, without letting go.

 

“I’m more of a jiu-jitsu kind of girl.” Alicia whizzed.

 

“Show me.” Roxy offered finally releasing her.

 

Alicia immediately caught her in a chokehold, grabbing Roxy from behind, her arm around her neck. “Brazilians call this a lion killer.” She informed a bit smugly.

 

“Show me how.” Roxy all but demanded.

 

Alicia showed her the moves again and they traded a few cards on them, then suddenly Alicia leaped on her. “Let’s see who finishes on top?”

 

“You’re on.”

 

The two women rolled around for a while and Roxy just knew she would have a tatami rash on her the next day and her arm would kill her, but she was actually having fun. She managed to get Alicia under her, but the girl locked her thighs around her middle. Roxy managed to get her arm out of the way before Alicia could grab it too, but she was still in a difficult position, far from finishing this.

 

That was when it happened. Roxy wasn’t sure how she ended with Alicia on top of her, she was sure she had the advantage, but then they were rolling so much it was no shock. What was shocking was how suddenly it didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

 

Eggsy said more than once: Alicia was hot. It was kind of ridiculous, actually. Roxy wasn’t blind and she had taken a second look at the other woman once or twice, but the same way they would tell Eggsy to respect her, Roxy would do the same. She would never treat another woman as a piece of meat, because she knew how it felt to be treated this way.

 

But right now… It was kind of hard not to think about it. She had to leave before she did something stupid.

 

She shouldn’t have concerned herself it that. In the end Alicia was the one that kissed her. She could remember exactly how the other woman had been staring at her for a bit, before lowering her head.

 

Roxy had plenty of time to stop her, but she didn’t for some stupid reason. She let Alicia kiss her and more than that, she kissed her back. Maybe it was because the adrenaline, of the whole fighting thing, but it was not a small kiss; it was the hottest thing Roxy had ever experienced, full of teeth and tongue.

 

She rolled Alicia, so she was back on top, holding the other woman’s hands against the tatami. This was about the time that Roxy realized what she was doing.

 

What the fuck?

 

She all but jumped to her feet, her breath labored, her cheeks colored. “I’m sorry.” She said fast, “I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry.”

 

She ran before Alicia could say anything. Holy fuck! Why had she done something so stupid?

 

XxX

 

Chelsea ran down the street, her heart beating wildly on her chest. The cold wind was hurting her face, but she could not feel it. Her feet slipped on the wet sidewalk and she fell hard on the ground.

 

The young woman got up, without paying attention to her skinned hands or the throb on her knee. She could see the house up ahead, she had to get there.

 

Her head was screaming at her that this was impossible, that nobody could have found her mother when she didn’t want to be found.

 

Her breath was coming harder, but she was almost there. Chelsea stopped in front of the door, the open door, the one that had obviously been kicked open.

 

“No.” She murmured.

 

The woman climbed the steps quickly, no regard for her own safety. The house was turned upside down: broken glass, things thrown on the floor. “No.” She said again. “Mom!” There was no answer.

 

Chelsea ran up the stairs to the bedroom. They had come while her mother was sleeping. Here the signs of fight were intense, like she had been dragged out of the bed kicking and screaming. Chelsea’s eyes took the scene, until she spotted an open lipstick tube, partially under the bed.

 

Chelsea dropped to the floor and found the words written on the wood there.

 

_HIDE_

 

Fuck no! She was not hiding! There was no chance of that. Not if they had her mother. She was fixing that. She needed help, she needed her friends. It was time to get the old team back.

 

It was also –unfortunately –time to call daddy dearest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo...
> 
> Merlin and Susan are together! Finally! Those two potatoes... Anyway I love them, and I love how much the other agents ship them... hahahaha
> 
> Roxy and Alicia... Did you see that coming? I thought it was hot, I hope you all agree.
> 
> Now Chelsea... Wha'ts up with that?
> 
> You'll find out on "The Lost Heiress", the third and final part of my "Gentle Lady" series.
> 
> Once again, thank you all for all the support. See you in a few weeks.


End file.
